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‘Sister of the Bride’ Quotes

The Golden Girls: Sister of the Bride

614. Sister of the Bride

Aired January 12, 1991

Blanche doesn't know how to react when her brother Clayton tells her he's marrying his boyfriend, Doug. Meanwhile, Dorothy and Sophia plan a charity banquet, and Rose hopes to finally win an award.

Quote from Dorothy

Clayton: Blanche, we don't have to worry about what the world thinks about our relationship. It just doesn't matter, because we're there for each other. I'd do anything for Doug, and he'd bend over backwards for me.
Dorothy: [covers Sophia's mouth and pulls her close] Sometimes I just love to hug my mommy.

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Quote from Sophia

Blanche: It's easier for you to say that, Sophia. It's not your brother who's getting married to a man.
Sophia: Hey, it's not like the guys in my family never kissed a man. Of course, that was business. Although there was that one hit man who always had to have a flower in his lapel and would hold the kiss of death a little longer than he had to.
Blanche: Oh, look, I can accept the fact that he's gay, but why does he have to slip a ring on this guy's finger so the whole world will know?
Sophia: Why did you marry George?
Blanche: We loved each other. We wanted to make a lifetime commitment. Wanted everybody to know.
Sophia: That's what Doug and Clayton want, too. Everyone wants someone to grow old with. And shouldn't everyone have that chance?

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: I think I did a great job covering up how upset I am.
Dorothy: You mean, like how you started sobbing when Clayton asked for more fruit cocktail?
Blanche: I don't really mind Clayton being homosexual. I just don't like him dating men.
Dorothy: You really haven't grasped the concept of this gay thing yet, have you?
Blanche: There must be homosexuals who date women.
Sophia: Yeah. They're called lesbians.

Quote from Sophia

Clayton: Oh, Blanche, Doug and I were wondering what's happening with the sleeping arrangements.
Well, I'll be there in just a moment to get you two settled in. Now, if you sleepy heads could wait just a- [pushing Clayton back into the living room] Sleeping arrangements? What in hell am I gonna do about the sleeping arrangements?
Dorothy: Well, honey, why can't you sleep on the couch and give Clayton and Doug your room?
Blanche: Are you crazy? What will the neighbors think if they see two men in my bedroom?
Sophia: They'll think it's Tuesday.

Quote from Rose

Sophia: The winner of this year's Volunteer Vanguard Award is- Rose.
Rose: Yes!
Sophia: Hand me that glass of water, please. Wow! What a surprise! Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in history, we have a posthumous winner, Agnes Bradshaw!
Rose: It's a fix! She's dead! She doesn't need that on her mantel. She's on her mantel!

Quote from Dorothy

Rose: Hot damn! It's happened! It's finally happened! Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes!
Dorothy: I take it we now get The Disney Channel.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: They can sleep in Ma's room and she'll sleep with me.
Sophia: Oh, Ma doesn't get a say. It doesn't matter what Ma thinks. Ma's a piece of furniture who has no feelings or opinions.
Dorothy: Nonsense, my little hat rack.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: [on the phone] Hello? Frank's Flowers? Hey, Frank! Sophia Petrillo here. Listen, I decided the price you quoted me on those centerpieces is too high. So I thought maybe we could make a deal. Now, my daughter is single. What do you mean, "Is she easy?" You're talking about my flesh and blood. 40% off? Oh, you bet she's easy. Sure, Dorothy'll love that. OK, Frank. I'll set it up. Gotta go.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Oh, gee, Ma, you know, ever since the two of us started planning this banquet, you have been incredible. I mean, you told me you got a great deal on the flowers, the caterer, the janitorial service. Oh, I wish I worked this hard for charity.
Sophia: You will, Pussycat, you will.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Girls, I just got a letter from my brother, Clayton. He says he's coming for a visit next week and he has a big surprise.
Dorothy: Oh, that's wonderful.
Blanche: I bet I know what the surprise is, too. Clayton's met himself a girl, and he wants me to meet her.
Dorothy: Honey, your brother is gay.
Blanche: Dorothy, I think that gay thing was just a phase he was going through. You know, like, when Clay was in high school, all he ever wanted to do was go see gladiator movies. It's the same kind of thing.
Dorothy: Almost exactly.

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: Rose, honey, congratulations! I hear you've been nominated again for the Volunteer of the Year Award.
Rose: Yep. Seven years I've been nominated for the Volunteer Vanguard Award, and seven years I've had to watch Agnes Bradshaw snatch it away from me. Well, she's not gonna do that this year. This year, I'm finally gonna beat her. I'm gonna win!
Dorothy: Why? Because you worked harder than Agnes?
Rose: Because she's dead. Yep! As a doornail. Dead, dead, dead. Coffee?

Quote from Rose

Blanche: Rose, how can you be so cheery? It's a terrible thing.
Rose: Come on, she was 89, and she died in her sleep.
Blanche: She fell asleep driving the bookmobile.
Rose: It was a tragedy. She was my only real competition. Dead, dead, dead. Muffin?

Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: Oh! You're still the handsomest man I know.
Clayton: And you're still the prettiest thing I ever did see.
Dorothy: Now I know why they call it the "Deep" South.

Quote from Rose

Rose: Isn't it wonderful that they became so close between the airport and here? I hardly ever speak to my cab drivers.
Dorothy: Rose, Doug is not a cab driver.
Doug: No, ma'am. Actually, I'm a policeman.
Rose: Oh. Well, what's a policeman doing bringing fares from the airport? I know! I bet you do undercover work.
Sophia: And I'll bet he does it damn well.
Dorothy: You'll have to excuse my mother. She survived a slight stroke, which left her, if I can be frank, a complete burden.

Quote from Sophia

Rose: Why don't we all go out to the kitchen and get something to drink?
Dorothy: That sounds good. Say, have you ladies known Blanche for a long time?
Rose: Oh, yes. You're in luck. She just loves policemen.
Sophia: Apparently, it's a hereditary trait.

Quote from Rose

Doug: I think it's time you told her, Clayton.
Blanche: Told me what?
Clayton: I wanted you to meet Doug for a very important reason.
Blanche: Well, why?
Clayton: Blanche, we're getting married.
Rose: Oh, that's impossible, Clayton. Brothers can't marry sisters. Oh, that's right, you're from the South.
Dorothy: Blanche and Clayton aren't getting married, you airhead. Clayton and Doug are.
Rose: Oh. Oh! Oh?

Quote from Rose

Clayton: Ladies! I think a toast is in order. Here's to the woman of the hour. A woman whose grace and kindness and warmth and concern for others is an inspiration to us all. Here's to... Blanche!
Rose: And he's mad at her. Think what he's gonna say about me.
Clayton: Blanche, you don't know how much it means-
Blanche: I'm not here for you. I realize this is a very important night for Rose, and that's why I came. Just don't mind me.
Clayton: Um to Rose.
Rose: I liked his toast to Blanche better.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Uh, Dorothy, I'd like you to meet Irving Kapella. He's the one who did the ice sculptures. Aren't they nice?
Irving: 75% off.
Sophia: Uh, Irving would very much like to take you out for some cappuccino and salsa dancing.
Dorothy: Maybe some other time.
Irving: Hey, I thought we had a deal.
Dorothy: Ma, what is he talking about? What kind of deal?
Sophia: Pussycat, you know how much I love you.
Dorothy: You sold me, didn't you?
Sophia: I didn't know what to do. I had no budget.
Dorothy: Oh, my God. Now it all makes sense. Why the hat-check guy serenaded me with "Moon River." Why the chef gave me that extra large cut of beef. Why the bus boy did that thing with his tongue.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Hey, Irving. Sorry. Our deal is off. My daughter doesn't want to go out with you.
Irving: But we shook on it and everything.
Sophia: If it makes you feel any better, I'll go out with you.
Irving: Instead of her, I go out with you?
Sophia: Right.
Irving: OK.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Blanche, I've been thinking about Clayton and Doug, and I have a question.
Blanche: What?
Sophia: Why do men have nipples?
Blanche: I have no idea.
Sophia: You think it's because God has a sense of humor and isn't as uptight as the rest of us?

Quote from Blanche

Clayton: You mean that, Blanche? Because Doug loves me for what I am, not for what he wants me to be, or wishes I were.
Blanche: I guess I deserve that.
Clayton: I guess you do.
Blanche: Well, Clay, this is very difficult for me. I still can't say I understand what you're doing, but I do intend to try to respect your decision to do it. I want you to be happy.
Clayton: I am happy, Blanche.
Blanche: I know.
Clayton: So, are you telling me you are ready to have a brand-new brother-in-law?
Blanche: I suppose I am. [to Doug] Now, look here. Now, he's not perfect. Has a stubborn streak and a bad temper.
Doug: And he snores.
Blanche: That'll just be our little secret.


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