Rose: I am so glad to finally meet you. Lunch is all set up out on the lanai. Your father says you're a classical musician. What do you play?
Caroline: The English horn.
Rose: I didn't know horns had nationalities. But I guess it makes sense. If jumping beans can be Mexican and fire drills can be Chinese and flies can be Spanish.

Rose: You're not having company, are you, Blanche? Because I want everything to go smoothly for Miles and Caroline. It's a big step, meeting a man's family.
Blanche: Don't worry about it, honey. Men will be over, but they'll be in and out all day.
Dorothy: Don't say it, Ma.
Sophia: I have to, Dorothy. At my age, when you don't say it, it can back up on you and come out some other way.

Dorothy: Ma, I wanna know, where did you get the money?
Sophia: The government has been kinder and gentler by sending me more social security checks than they used to.
Dorothy: The computer made a mistake. Ma, that money doesn't belong to you. Now, how much are we talking about?
Sophia: Enough to have you rubbed out if you rat on me.
Dorothy: Ma!
Sophia: So far, 170 grand. But I haven't checked today's mail.

Rose: Do we have the ingredients for kerflugenglugen?
Dorothy: Come on, Rose, get with it. Do what the rest of us do. Buy frozen kerflugenglugen.

Blanche: All day tomorrow, men are gonna be showing up here for a test drive. You can tell a lot about a man by how he drives.
Dorothy: You know, that's true. Sometimes Stan couldn't even get the key in the ignition.

Dorothy: Hi, Miles. How was your evening?
Miles: It was terrific. We saw a marvelous production of The Glass Menagerie.
Dorothy: Oh, that is one of my favorite plays.
Rose: Frankly, I was a little disappointed.
Miles: Really?
Rose: Yeah. When you told me you were taking me to a revival of Tennessee Williams, I was expecting something more along the lines of a seance.

Sophia: Dorothy, do we know anybody named Cecilia?
Dorothy: Your cousin, Ma. She only has weeks to live.
Sophia: Oh! Next time I'll accept the charges.

Dorothy: [answering phone] Hello? No. No, we don't have a car for sale. You must have the wrong number.
Blanche: Is it a man or a woman?
Dorothy: It's a woman, interested in a Mercedes.
Blanche: Mm-hm. Hello. Sorry, the car's been sold. Uh-huh. [hangs up]
Dorothy: Blanche, what is this all about?
Blanche: I have figured out the most wonderful way to meet men. Rich, eligible men. I put an ad in the paper saying I have a Mercedes for sale for a very low price.

Dorothy: Morning, Ma. Sleep well?
Sophia: No. I had that recurring nightmare, the one where I'm in bed with Warren Beatty and he says, "Sorry, this is too sick even for me."

Blanche: My first appointment's here, right on time. I've been out there watching him. He's been looking at the car and smiling. I feel just like a fisherman with a new lure.
Dorothy: You catch 'em, you clean 'em! Blanche, aren't you embarrassed, going through all this subterfuge to get a man?
Blanche: A man? I'm planning on getting a six-month supply!