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‘Triple Play’ Quotes Page 1 of 3

The Golden Girls: Triple Play

515. Triple Play

Aired January 27, 1990

Miles' daughter tells Rose not to see her father anymore. Meanwhile, Blanche tries to meet men by advertising a Mercedes for sale, and Sophia is flush with cash after the government mixes up her social security.

Quote from Rose

Rose: I am so glad to finally meet you. Lunch is all set up out on the lanai. Your father says you're a classical musician. What do you play?
Caroline: The English horn.
Rose: I didn't know horns had nationalities. But I guess it makes sense. If jumping beans can be Mexican and fire drills can be Chinese and flies can be Spanish.

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Quote from Sophia

Rose: You're not having company, are you, Blanche? Because I want everything to go smoothly for Miles and Caroline. It's a big step, meeting a man's family.
Blanche: Don't worry about it, honey. Men will be over, but they'll be in and out all day.
Dorothy: Don't say it, Ma.
Sophia: I have to, Dorothy. At my age, when you don't say it, it can back up on you and come out some other way.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Ma, I wanna know, where did you get the money?
Sophia: The government has been kinder and gentler by sending me more social security checks than they used to.
Dorothy: The computer made a mistake. Ma, that money doesn't belong to you. Now, how much are we talking about?
Sophia: Enough to have you rubbed out if you rat on me.
Dorothy: Ma!
Sophia: So far, 170 grand. But I haven't checked today's mail.

Quote from Dorothy

Rose: Do we have the ingredients for kerflugenglugen?
Dorothy: Come on, Rose, get with it. Do what the rest of us do. Buy frozen kerflugenglugen.

Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: All day tomorrow, men are gonna be showing up here for a test drive. You can tell a lot about a man by how he drives.
Dorothy: You know, that's true. Sometimes Stan couldn't even get the key in the ignition.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Dorothy, do we know anybody named Cecilia?
Dorothy: Your cousin, Ma. She only has weeks to live.
Sophia: Oh! Next time I'll accept the charges.

Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: [answering phone] Hello? No. No, we don't have a car for sale. You must have the wrong number.
Blanche: Is it a man or a woman?
Dorothy: It's a woman, interested in a Mercedes.
Blanche: Mm-hm. Hello. Sorry, the car's been sold. Uh-huh. [hangs up]
Dorothy: Blanche, what is this all about?
Blanche: I have figured out the most wonderful way to meet men. Rich, eligible men. I put an ad in the paper saying I have a Mercedes for sale for a very low price.

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: Hi, Miles. How was your evening?
Miles: It was terrific. We saw a marvelous production of The Glass Menagerie.
Dorothy: Oh, that is one of my favorite plays.
Rose: Frankly, I was a little disappointed.
Miles: Really?
Rose: Yeah. When you told me you were taking me to a revival of Tennessee Williams, I was expecting something more along the lines of a seance.

Quote from Rose

Miles: Rose, I forgot to tell you. My daughter Caroline is flying in for my birthday. Maybe we could all go out to lunch. I'm very anxious for you two to get together.
Rose: Why don't you two come here for lunch? I'll cook something special.
Miles: That's a great idea. I loved what you made the last time. What was it called - gerkinflunken?
Rose: Oh, no, that was my uncle. The owner of St. Olaf's most famous haberdashery. He came up with the slogan, "You don't have to be Amish to look Amish."

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Morning, Ma. Sleep well?
Sophia: No. I had that recurring nightmare, the one where I'm in bed with Warren Beatty and he says, "Sorry, this is too sick even for me."

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: My first appointment's here, right on time. I've been out there watching him. He's been looking at the car and smiling. I feel just like a fisherman with a new lure.
Dorothy: You catch 'em, you clean 'em! Blanche, aren't you embarrassed, going through all this subterfuge to get a man?
Blanche: A man? I'm planning on getting a six-month supply!

Quote from Sophia

James: I'm here about the car.
Rose: [o.s.] Miles?
Blanche: No, honey, it's James. You stay right there and I'll get the keys. [exits]
James: How much mileage has she got on her?
Dorothy: Let's just say she's been around the block.
Blanche: Here we go, James. Let's put the pedal to the metal.
James: I can't believe anything that beautiful is so cheap.
Sophia: [Dorothy covers her mouth] I'm cramping up!

Quote from Sophia

Thomas: Hi, I'm here about the car.
Dorothy: Come in. Have a seat.
Thomas: Thank you. How're you doing?
Dorothy: Blanche will be here any minute. She's out on a test drive.
Thomas: Well, Blanche said I was gonna be the first.
Sophia: She's been using that line for 40 years.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Oh, my God, Rose! Now I've got three excited men out there. And for the first time in my life it seems like too many.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Rose, those are Caroline's feelings, not Miles' - otherwise, why would he be here?
Rose: I was trying so hard to impress her.
Blanche: I remember when we had to impress a man's parents, not his children. Boy, Mother Devereaux was dead set against me marrying George. She wanted her little boy to marry a virgin. Hm!
Rose: How did she know you weren't?
Sophia: Maybe it was all those "Honk if you've had Blanche" bumper stickers.

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