Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘Bringing Up Baby’ Quotes

The Golden Girls: Bringing Up Baby

303. Bringing Up Baby

Aired October 3, 1987

After Rose's wealthy uncle dies and leaves her Baby, the girls are willing to overlook the fact he's a pig in exchange for a share of the money.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Is this 6151 Richmond Street?
Dorothy: Ma, what's the matter?
Sophia: Oh, Dorothy, thank God it's you. I broke my glasses at the mall and I can't see a thing. It- It took it took me six hours to find my way home.
Dorothy: Ma, if you couldn't see, why didn't you call me to come get you?
Sophia: I tried to, but every time I put in a dime and dialed, a condom popped out. I got five in my pocket. Here, Dorothy. A lifetime supply.

Rate

Quote from Rose

Rose: Oh, Blanche, we don't have anything to worry about. If we give that baby love and attention and understanding, it'll turn out fine.
Dorothy: That's beautiful.
Rose: Besides, what does Spock know about raising babies? On Vulcan, all the kids are born in pods.
Dorothy: Rose, I know this is a long shot, but, did you take much acid during the '60s?

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Oh, my God. That's the cutest baby I've ever seen.
Dorothy: Ma, it's a pig!
Sophia: Hey, you were no great looker when I brought you home from the hospital. I loved you anyway.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: What do you say, Ma?
Sophia: What choice do I have? If I say no, I'll be back at the home building log cabins out of popsicle sticks.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: Well, Rose Nylund, shame on you. Caught with a gentleman caller in the middle of the afternoon.
Rose: Oh, he's not a gentleman caller. He's a veterinarian, here to see Baby.
Dorothy: Oh. Uh, how is Baby, doc?
Sophia: I read in Newsweek they ran him out of Haiti.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Dorothy, which one of these necklaces do you think looks better with this dress? This gold chain or the pearls?
Dorothy: They both look nice, Blanche.
Blanche: I'm just not sure about the pearls. Do you think pearls nestled in the ample cleavage revealed by my clinging low-cut gown somehow might suggest I'm nothing but a cheap, easy, good time?
Dorothy: They might.
Blanche: That settles it. Pearls it is.

Quote from Sophia

Rose: Sophia!
Sophia: Rose, what are you doing in the bathroom?
Dorothy: Ma, this is the kitchen.
Sophia: Oh, boy, if this is the kitchen, I'm poaching an egg in the toilet.

Quote from Sophia

Rose: There you are. You get in the kitchen and eat your slop before I spank that little pink fanny.
Sophia: All right, I'm going. I'm going. ... Oh, sorry, that's the way they used to call us for dinner at the home.

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: Rose, I thought we decided that that pig was gonna stay in the pen out back.
Rose: He didn't like it there. It was too confining. Oh, but Baby's a free spirit. A wanderer. A rebel. You know, in a lot of ways he reminds me of Jimmy Dean.
Dorothy: The actor or the sausage?

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: Girls, I'm just so mad. That pig tore up my nightgown last night.
Sophia: Blanche, the people you date are from foreign countries. They play by different rules.
Blanche: Oh, I'm talking about Baby. I never should've let that filthy, barnyard beast in my house in the first place. He ruins my clothes, smells up the whole house, and he likes to watch me take a shower.
Sophia: He's a pig. There's no accounting for taste.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: I guess maybe I was a little bit too hasty. Baby isn't really all that much trouble. Heck, this is an old nightgown, and, well, he is kind of cute.
Sophia: And he's not the first pig to watch you take ashower, and that's my last pig joke, I swear it.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Don't look at me. I'm not going to do it.
Dorothy: Why not?
Sophia: Because what you two are doing is making me sick. Degrading yourself by living with a filthy animal. And for what? Money. It's humiliating. I don't want any part of it.
Dorothy: What if we cut you in?
Sophia: What time does he eat?
Rose: Girls, girls! Come quick, Baby just collapsed.
Sophia: $25,000 in ten seconds, now I know how Johnny Carson feels.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: Rose, honey, don't torture yourself. Now, Baby is very, very old. Whenever one of God's creatures outlives its normal life expectancy, why, it can go any minute.
Sophia: Would you mind not looking at me when you say that?

Quote from Sophia

Rose: Does anybody know where the thermometer is?
Dorothy: Sure, in the medicine cabinet. Why?
Rose: I wanna take Baby's temperature. Although, I'm not sure what the normal temperature is for a pig.
Sophia: I know a ham turns out nicely at 325.
Rose: Ohhhh.
Sophia: I'm sorry, Rose, I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm delirious with grief.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Well, I'm sure not putting my money into stocks and bonds. Hey, this is found money. This is fun money. This is hot beaches and sweaty men money. Getting naked and rolling around on the ground money.
Dorothy: Even your money has more fun than I do.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Boy, it's great being rich.
Dorothy: Oh, I can not believe we spent so much money that we don't have yet.
Sophia: Relax. When I looked in on Baby this morning, he was a half hour away from Sizzilean.

Quote from Sophia

Rose: Oh, it's been great having a pig living in the house. But we can't jeopardize Baby's health, the doctor said so.
Sophia: Please, what does he know? He's not a real doctor. The man makes his living sticking thermometers up a cat's behind.


 Episode 302 Episode 304 
  Select another episode