Best ‘The Golden Girls’ Quotes Page 1 of 25    

Quote from Blanche in Hey, Look Me Over

Rose: Wait a minute. If you didn't sleep with any of the men in these journals, then how come it says "Bed" on the cover?
Blanche: [laughs] Oh, that doesn't say "Bed."
Rose: Right there, it does.
Blanche: Oh, silly, those are my initials. Blanche Elizabeth Devereaux.
Dorothy: Your initials spell "Bed"?

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Quote from Dorothy in The Way We Met

[flashback:]
Rose: I'll make it up to you, Dorothy, I promise. Listen, if there's ever a night where you can't sleep, I'll come to your room and sing "Kumbaya."
Dorothy: Rose, I don't know what to say. Yes, I do. Don't ever do that.

Quote from Blanche in It's a Miserable Life

Blanche: Wish me luck.
Dorothy: Wait. Blanche, why should you do it?
Blanche: Because we'll have a better chance. I happen to be a wonderful orator. And two of the commissioners can verify that.
Dorothy: Blanche, "orator" means "speaker".
Blanche: Really? Oh. Well, somebody else do the talking.

Quote from Sophia in The Flu

Blanche: You don't have to worry about me. I never get sick. I take very good care of myself. I treat my body like a temple.
Sophia: Yeah, open to everyone, day or night.

Quote from Sophia in The Engagement

Rose: I don't drink before bedtime. I stop all liquids at noon and I still wake up.
Sophia: I never have that problem. Never. I sleep like a log. I never get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I go in the morning. Every morning like clockwork, at 7 am I pee. Unfortunately, I don't wake up till 8.

Quote from Dorothy in Sister of the Bride

Clayton: Blanche, we don't have to worry about what the world thinks about our relationship. It just doesn't matter, because we're there for each other. I'd do anything for Doug, and he'd bend over backwards for me.
Dorothy: [covers Sophia's mouth and pulls her close] Sometimes I just love to hug my mommy.

Quote from Rose in Dorothy's New Friend

Rose: I remember when I was a little girl back in St. Olaf. There was this old lady who lived up the street. She never smiled. I mean, she always looked angry. The kids said she'd kill anyone who even stepped on her property. We called her Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper.
Blanche: Yeah, kids can be pretty cruel.
Rose: No. That was her name. Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper. She had it changed legally 'cause everybody called her that anyway.
Blanche: Then how come your name isn't Big Dummy?
Rose: Well, there were already three other people in town with that name. But that's beside the point. One day I got up the courage to go up to Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper and ask her why she always frowned. Well, she had been born with no smiling muscles. I pointed out that a frown is just a smile turned upside down. So from then on, whenever I'd go by, she'd stand on her head and wave.

Quote from Blanche in Charlie's Buddy

Dorothy: Blanche, have you ever met a man you didn't think was giving you the eye?
Blanche: Once, in 1976. But it was only two days later that Mr. President Jimmy Carter announced to the American people that he had secretly lusted in his heart.

Quote from Dorothy in Fiddler on the Ropes

Blanche: It sure would be nice to have some investments to fall back on, though. I just never had a mind for that.
Dorothy: Me neither. I never had a mind for money matters. I always used to let Stanley handle all our investments.
Rose: Did he have a head for numbers, Stanley?
Dorothy: The man used to have to get naked to count to 21.

Quote from Rose in Henny Penny - Straight, No Chaser

Blanche: This is horrible. As Big Daddy used to say, "I'm feeling lower than the rent on a burnin' building."
Rose: That's funny. I used to live in a burning building. And it was cheap. It was Charlie's and my first house. Well, scoff if you must, but it was warm and toasty. I'll never forget Charlie throwing me over his shoulder and dashing across the threshold. Oh, it was a beautiful place. Three bedrooms, two baths. Then two bedrooms and one bath. Eventually, we outgrew the place.

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