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‘Blind Date’ Quotes

The Golden Girls: Blind Date

412. Blind Date

Aired January 28, 1989

After she is stood up on a date, Blanche meets a charming gentleman in the same situation, but doesn't notice that he is blind. Meanwhile, Rose and Dorothy coach a youth football team.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: Girls, quick. I need some advice.
Sophia: Wear half as much makeup and twice as much underwear. Take it as a standing recommendation.

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Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Boy, am I steamed! They took Pat Sajak off Wheel of Fortune.
Dorothy: Well, that's because he has his own late-night talk show now.
Sophia: Oh, yeah, right. The man spins a big wooden wheel for eight years, suddenly he's discussing detente with Henry Kissinger. What else happened lately? Mike Tyson hosting Masterpiece Theatre?

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Ma, why are you so cranky today?
Sophia: I'm not cranky. I'm gassy. I had one of those Weight Watchers broccoli au gratins for lunch. Boy, that stuff's murder. I'm surprised Lynn Redgrave has a friend in the world.

Quote from Rose

Rose: Dorothy, I just had a great idea. Why don't you become my assistant?
Dorothy: Oh, Rose, forget it. Forget it. I don't want to get involved in sports with you. No, Rose, you're too competitive. You just take all the fun out of it.
Rose: Not anymore, Dorothy, really. Believe me, all I care about is that these kids have a really good time.
Dorothy: Well, all right. I mean, if you really mean it, you can count me in.
Rose: Oh, great. Oh, with your help, Dorothy, we'll kick their butts. We'll chew 'em up and spit 'em out. We'll make 'em eat dirt for breakfast. ... Because breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: Uh, last but not least, Billy Haskell.
Sophia: 72. [all cheer]
Dorothy: Wait a minute, wait, wait, wait. Wait a minute, wait a minute. [removes a book stuffed inside Billy's shirt] How much does he weigh now, Ma?
Sophia: 68. [all aww]
Billy: Sorry, Coach Rose. I tried.
Rose: I don't know what you're talking about.
Billy: Well, you said to take the book...
Rose: And study. Study, study, study, study.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Thanks a lot, Rose. You just taught a bunch of eight-year-old boys that it's more important to win than to play by the rules.
Rose: Big deal! Two pounds? He's our best player. If Billy doesn't play, the team can't win.
Dorothy: Rose, rules were made for people like Billy. Little bodies don't like it when big bodies fall on them.
Sophia: Which is why Raymond Burr never married.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: I'm seeing that man I told you about I met in the bar, John Quinn. Just got off the phone with him.
Rose: And he asked you out for tonight?
Blanche: Yes! I know it's a little quick, but when Blanche Devereaux wants a man, she does not stand on ceremony.
Sophia: Or the floor.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Hello, John. Well, how do I look?
Dorothy: Blanche.
Blanche: Am I just the most adorable thing you ever saw?
Dorothy: Blanche.
Blanche: What's the matter, are you blinded by my beauty?
Rose: Blanche!
Blanche: Oh, my God.
Sophia: Want a glass of water to wash down your foot?

Quote from Dorothy

Rose: Now, the tight end decoys, so it looks like we're running a draw play, then he slips into a soft spot in the zone over the middle, the flanker fakes a screen then runs a reverse behind the halfback, which gives the quarterback two options-
Dorothy: For God's sake, Rose, Eisenhower used less chalk planning D-day.

Quote from Rose

Freddy: Coach Dorothy, can Billy and I get weighed together and we divide it?
Dorothy: Oh, I'm sorry. Nice try. You're beginning to think like a fourth-grader already.
Freddy: [to Rose] I told you it wouldn't work.

Quote from Sophia

Rose: Relax. It'll all be over tomorrow.
Dorothy: If I make it that far. I think I caught something practicing out in the rain.
Rose: So did I. Gee, I hope none of the boys caught it.
Sophia: Don't worry about it. Those boys can't catch anything. I've seen them practice.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: I'm taking over. Wish me luck.
Dorothy: Ma, you don't know anything about football.
Sophia: Please. What's to know? You hit a guy, you grab the pigskin, you run like crazy. It's like shopping in Sicily.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: I'm so glad we're friends again.
Dorothy: Oh, honey, of course we are.
Blanche: And by the way, I have never asked you what it is y'all have.
Rose: Oh, we're not sure. All we know is it makes your skin blotchy, and your eyes puffy and your cheeks swollen. And you get heart palpitations.
Blanche: Good thing for those palpitations, otherwise you might never have known you even had it.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: OK, here's the game plan. We keep it on the ground. Then, when they're used to it on the ground, we attack them through the air. I've used the same formula for 60 years of lovemaking. Trust me, it works.

Quote from Sophia

Billy: Boy, I hate being small.
Sophia: Hey, being small isn't all bad. Take it from someone who knows.
Billy: You mean you?
Sophia: You see Billy Barty sitting here? There are big advantages to being small. One, you never outgrow your clothes. Two, you seldom bump your head. Three, the world thinks you're cute. You think Danny DeVito got to be famous with his good looks? There's nothing wrong with being small, kid, but it is wrong to cheat. If you learn in life to follow the rules and play fair, you'll be heads above the crowd.
BIlly: You know, Sophia, all of a sudden I feel so much better.
Sophia: I had a feeling at your age a good cliche would work. Now eat this.
Billy: What is it?
Sophia: That's a meatball and pepper sandwich. If that doesn't put the weight on you, nothing will. OK, get suited up.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Would it be rude of me to ask just what that picture is you have of me?
John: Oh, well... You make me laugh, so you got a terrific smile.
Blanche: Yes.
John: You're smart and thoughtful, so you've got beautiful eyes.
Blanche: Yes.
John: And you're a music lover, so you've got a big behind.
Blanche: Ye- No!
John: Just wanted to see if you were paying attention.


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