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‘Isn't It Romantic?’ Quotes

The Golden Girls: Isn't It Romantic?

205. Isn't It Romantic?

Aired November 8, 1986

When Dorothy's friend visits Miami following the death of her partner, Dorothy isn't sure whether to tell Blanche and Rose that her friend is a lesbian.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: I'm a little nervous about Jean. She's a very special person and I don't know if she's going to get along with Blanche and Rose.
Sophia: You mean because she's a lesbian?
Dorothy: Oh, Ma, she's not a lesbian. I mean, what an absurd thing- How did you know?
Sophia: I've known since you two were in college together.
Dorothy: She didn't even know in college. How did you know?
Sophia: A mother knows.
Dorothy: Do you think I should tell Rose and Blanche?
Sophia: Jean is a nice person. She happens to likes girls instead of guys. Some people like cats instead of dogs. Frankly, I'd rather live with a lesbian than a cat. Unless a lesbian sheds. That I don't know.

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Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Oh, I do love the rain so. It reminds me of my first kiss.
Dorothy: Aw, your first kiss was in the rain.
Blanche: No, it was in the shower.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Come on. I heard you laughing. What's so funny?
Sophia: For starters, Jean is a lesbian.
Dorothy: Ma.
Blanche: What's funny about that?
Sophia: You aren't surprised?
Blanche: Of course not. I mean, I've never known any personally, but isn't Danny Thomas one?
Dorothy: Not Lebanese, Blanche. Lesbian.
Blanche: Lesbian. Lesbian. Lesbian?! But isn't that where one woman and another...
Dorothy: We already know what it means.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Jean, why don't we put your suitcase in Ma's room. Ma's gonna sleep with me.
Jean: You wouldn't mind, Sophia?
Sophia: No problem. I'll just have to remember when I get up at night the bathroom is down the hall to my left. Last time we had a guest, I killed two potted palms.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Oh, Blanche, this is my friend Jean.
Blanche: I'm so glad to meet you, Jean.
Jean: Me too, Blanche.
Blanche: I've heard so much about you, I feel like we're bosom buddies.
Dorothy: Ma, not a word.

Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: I cannot watch any more of this.
Rose: Hi.
Sophia: Wrong button. That's fast forward.
Rose: Oh, my. What are they doing?
Blanche: I know what they're doing, but I never saw anybody do it at that speed.
Rose: It reminds me of my Uncle Ricky's rabbit farm.
Sophia: That's reverse, Dorothy.
Blanche: I did that once. It was his birthday.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Ma. I am not gay. I just wanted to get your reaction.
Sophia: I'll tell you the truth, Dorothy. If one of my kids was gay, I wouldn't love him one bit less. I would wish him all the happiness in the world.
Dorothy: Because you're the greatest mother in the world. And I love you.
Sophia: Fine. Now keep your fat mouth shut so I can get some sleep.

Quote from Rose

Rose: I never got to go to the prom.
Jean: You're kidding. Why?
Rose: Well, I really wanted to go with Delbert Twitchell. He was the most gorgeous boy at our school. And he was captain of the Precision Combine Drill team. Well, actually, I was so sure Delbert was going to ask me that I turned down our only foreign exchange student, Cyril Mountbatten. Well, Daddy didn't like Cyril anyway, cos he was British. Daddy said the relationship would never work out, on account of the language barrier. Daddy was a very caring and ignorant man. Well, finally, it got to the day before the prom and Delbert still hadn't asked me. So, I marched across a crowded cafeteria, stared him straight in the eye and said, "Delbert, what gives?" He said, "Jenny McCoy. That's why I'm taking her to the prom."

Quote from Rose

Rose: It's about Jean.
Dorothy: What about Jean?
Rose: Well, I don't want to shock you, Dorothy, but Jean...
Dorothy: I know. Jean is gay.
Rose: You know already? Well, what about Blanche?
Dorothy: No, Blanche is not gay.
Rose: I don't mean that. I mean, she knows?
Dorothy: And Ma.
Rose: You told everybody but me?
Dorothy: Honey, I didn't even know if you'd know what a lesbian was.
Rose: I could have looked it up.

Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: But Jean's a very attractive woman. She could have any man she wants.
Dorothy: She doesn't want them.
Blanche: Well, why not? A man has so much more to offer, you know what I mean, Dorothy?
Dorothy: I found that out when Mark Perper ran for Class President in the third grade.
Blanche: Why? What does that have to do with anything?
Dorothy: Well, his campaign slogan was "Vote for me and I'll show you my wee-wee." He won by a landslide.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Hi, Ma. What are you watching?
Sophia: I don't know. One of those Steven Spielburger movies.
Dorothy: That's not a Steven Spielberg movie. What are they doing?
Sophia: You know what they're doing. We had that talk when you were 12.
Dorothy: Ma, I can't believe this. You rented a dirty movie?
Sophia: Dirty is in the eye of the beholder. OK, maybe that's a little dirty.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Ma, we did not get a VCR so that you could watch dirty movies.
Sophia: I'm 81, what are you worrying about? You think I'm gonna find someone down at the center to do that with?

Quote from Rose

Rose: I wish there was something I could do. I know. I'll make my famous ice-cream clown sundaes. You know, the ones with little raisin eyes and sugar-cone caps.
Dorothy: If that doesn't fill the void, nothing will.

Quote from Sophia

Jean: Sophia. You haven't aged a bit. You look great.
Sophia: Oh, Jean, you were always a terrific girl. Dorothy, why can't you be more like Jean? Scratch that.

Quote from Sophia

Jean: Where are your roommates, Dorothy?
Dorothy: Jean, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. I don't know quite how to phrase this.
Sophia: The lesbian thing. Do you keep it under your hat, or what?

Quote from Dorothy

Jean: I know what you mean. You didn't tell your roommates that Pat was a woman.
Dorothy: Well, they just assumed Pat was your husband. And I wanted to make sure it was okay with you before I told them.
Jean: Well, listen, Dorothy, I'm not embarrassed or ashamed of who I am. I mean, you know your friends better than I do. If you think they can handle it, I'd prefer to tell them.
Rose: Here we are. Ice-cream clowns with hats for everybody.
Jean: It'll be our little secret.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: We're gonna have such fun. I know the best restaurants, the best night clubs, the best men.
Dorothy: Blanche.
Blanche: Oh, I'm sorry. Was that insensitive of me? Maybe you're not ready for men yet.
Sophia: You don't know the half of it.

Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: Jean, forgive me if I', dwelling on the subject of men, but don't you think it's about time you planned something special, if you know what I mean?
Jean: Oh, I couldn't.
Blanche: Oh, come on. It's been a year. Of course you could.
Dorothy: Believe her, Blanche, she couldn't.

Quote from Rose

Jean: I haven't eaten a big breakfast like this since I left the farm.
Rose: Really? You were raised on a farm?
Jean: Until I was 17. A dairy farm.
Rose: Whoa. A dairy farm? Just like me. Oh, did you hear that? Jean was raised on a dairy farm. I didn't know that. Why didn't you tell me Jean was raised on a dairy farm?
Dorothy: I was afraid it might be too much excitement for you.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: Sophia. Where have you been? I thought you were taking a nap.
Sophia: I went to the video store.
Dorothy: Ma, I told you I'd go.
Sophia: Forget it. The last time you brought back Seven Brides For Seven Brothers. You know how disappointed I was to find out it's a musical?

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Dorothy, I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but there's something about Jean that bothers me.
Dorothy: Bothers you?
Blanche: Uh-huh. Every time I suggest she go on a date, the two of you change the subject.
Dorothy: Oh, come on, Blanche, that's ridiculous. Look. I think the rain is beginning to let up.
Blanche: Dorothy, I may be a lot of things, but naive is not one of them. Face it. Your friend Jean... is seeing a married man.
Dorothy: Blanche, that is absolutely uncanny.
Blanche: I wasn't born yesterday.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Not tonight, Salvadore, I've been cooking all day.
Dorothy: Ma, it's me. It's Dorothy.
Sophia: Oh, Dorothy. The way your elbow was poking me, I thought it was your father sneaking up on me.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Ma?
Sophia: Is it morning already?
Dorothy: No. I just wanted to ask you a question.
Sophia: What?
Dorothy: How would you react if you were told that one of your kids was gay?
Sophia: Your brother Phil is gay? I knew it. When he was a kid, we couldn't keep him away from those gladiator movies.
Dorothy: Ma, Phil is not gay.
Sophia: You mean you're gay? What, your friend is Jean having some sort of a membership drive?
Dorothy: Ma.
Sophia: Dorothy, I know you don't get many dates, but stick with what you know. At your age, it's very hard to break into something new. Good night.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Jean thinks she's in love with Rose.
[Sophia sits up in bed and starts laughing]
Dorothy: Ma, come on. It's not funny.
Sophia: The hell it's not. Jean in love with Little Miss Muffet? Come on.
[Sophia and Dorothy laugh]
Blanche: What is going on?
Dorothy & Sophia: Nothing.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Well, I'll never understand what Jean doesn't see in the opposite sex. But hey if that's what makes her happy, that's fine by me.
Dorothy: There's one other thing.
Sophia: Jean thinks she's in love with Rose.
Blanche: Rose? Jean has the hots for Rose? I don't believe it. I do not believe it.
Dorothy: I was pretty surprised myself.
Blanche: Well, I'll bet. To think Jean would prefer Rose over me? That's ridiculous!
Dorothy: Blanche, please.
Blanche: Now, you tell me the truth. If you had to pick me or Rose, who would you pick? Who?
Dorothy: Blanche, pull yourself together.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: Does Rose know?
Dorothy: No.
Blanche: Oh, good. I don't think you should tell her. After all, she's not as worldly and sophisticated about these things as I am.
Sophia: Absolutely. If she finds out Danny Thomas is a lesbian, it'll break her heart.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: Dorothy, do you really think you ought to sleep in the same bed as Sophia? You could get that cold.
Dorothy: You know, you're right, Blanche. Ma, you sleep in your own room. Jean can sleep in my room tonight.
Sophia: You're letting a sick, old woman sleep in her own bed with her own pillow? Bless you, warden.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: I think I'll retire too. This is the night I do my facial packs and compresses. It takes me an hour, but that's why my skin is as smooth as a baby's bottom.
Dorothy: That must explain the urge I sometimes have to diaper your head.

Quote from Rose

Rose: It was the first year after Charlie died that was the hardest. I'd lie awake for hours. I just could not get used to sleeping alone. Then I started taking the extra pillows and shoving them under the covers so I'd be lying next to them. Oh, it didn't really feel like Charlie, but sometimes it helped me fall asleep.
Jean: I'll have to try that.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Ma, did Jean sleep with you last night?
Sophia: Dorothy, there are a lot of things I want to try before I die... but that's not one of them.

Quote from Rose

Rose: Want a cup of coffee?
Jean: Maybe I will have a coffee.
Rose: Oh, hood.
Jean: Rose, about last night. I should never have said anything.
Rose: Well, you only said what you were feeling.
Jean: Well, it's just that this last year has been so difficult for me. See, Pat was the person I planned to spend the rest of my life with. And when she died, I just felt so terribly alone. Empty. I thought I could never care for anyone again. Until I met you. I just got very confused. I hope I didn't make you feel uncomfortable.
Rose: Well, I have to admit, I don't understand these kinds of feelings. But if I did understand, if I were, you know, like you, I'd be very flattered and proud that you thought of me that way.
Jean: Thank you, Rose.
Rose: Well, I guess that's all I had to say. Except you don't have to go. Unless you think our friendship alone isn't enough.
Jean: It's enough.

Quote from Sophia

[As Jean hugs Rose, Sophia enters the kitchen and stands behind them]
Jean: This isn't what it looks like.
Sophia: I know, I was listening at the door.
Rose: Why were you listening at the door?
Sophia: Because I'm not tall enough to see through the window.
[Dorothy and Blanche stand up in the kitchen window]


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