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‘Love, Rose’ Quotes

The Golden Girls: Love, Rose

210. Love, Rose

Aired December 13, 1986

When Rose places a personals ad in the hope of breaking her long dry spell, she doesn't get any response so Blanche takes matters into her own hands.

Quote from Blanche

Rose: Girls, was this the only mail today?
Blanche: Yes, can you believe it? People magazine is late again. I'm going to have to give that mailman another talking-to.
Dorothy: This time you might want to try something a little more forceful than asking him in for a Café Vienna and a warm bath.
Blanche: Dorothy, the man had just recovered from a hernia operation, and he was having trouble carrying his sack.

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Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: Oh, Rose, honey, don't let this personals thing depress you.
Rose: Dorothy, I can't help it. I haven't been this depressed since I was rejected by Uncle Sam.
Blanche: Well, honey, if he was your uncle, it wasn't meant to be. It's not like he was your cousin, where the relationship might have had a future.
Dorothy: Tell me, Blanche. Did any of your relatives appear in Deliverance?

Quote from Sophia

Rose: Oh, Sophia. Your card game run late?
Sophia: They changed the route on the number 10 bus. They didn't even put up a sign.
Rose: That's terrible. Where did you end up?
Sophia: Who knows? I could only find one person who spoke English, and he tried to blame me personally for the Bay of Pigs.
Rose: How did you get home?
Sophia: I took the bus the other way. That's when I also noticed that they'd changed the name of the number 10 to number 7. I'm gonna write David Horowitz.
Rose: Oh, Sophia, I think you got on the wrong bus.
Sophia: Maybe I did, but I'm gonna write Horowitz, anyway. I want someone to arrest David Hartman's dentist.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Rose, I have a date tonight so I'm borrowing your pearl earrings.
Rose: You are? Well what if I'm using them?
Blanche: Oh, honey, I would be so happy for you. But I know you don't have a date. Actually, the only woman I know who went without male companionship longer than you was Heather Swain, who went to the sanatorium for what Reverend Samuels insisted was the croup, but which all Mayflower County knew was a [whispering] social disease.
Dorothy: Congratulations, Rose. A new record. And you've done it without needing [whispering] penicillin.

Quote from Rose

Blanche: Honey, have you given any thought to advertising?
Rose: Oh, Blanche. I could never dress the way you do. Besides, I have to wear undies. Not all my wool skirts are lined.

Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: What do you have to lose? If you don't find anyone interesting, you don't have to reply. And the Community Center runs their service in the newsletter for free.
Blanche: And they'll even run your picture, and let you use a 100-word biography.
Dorothy: How do you know that?
Blanche: Rumor.

Quote from Sophia

Rose: Well, I suppose I could try it, but I could never, ever see myself going out with a man I met that way.
Blanche: Honey, desperate times call for desperate measures.
Rose: Blanche, you make it sound like I'm the only woman in Miami who doesn't have a date.
Sophia: Rose, I need to borrow a silk scarf tonight.
Rose: You have a date?
Sophia: No, I'm doing the Dance of the Seven Veils, and I'm one short. Sometimes I worry about her.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: Hi, Sophia.
Sophia: I don't want to turn around. Do any of you see a fedora in the window?
Rose: I don't.
Sophia: Good. I lost him.
Dorothy: Lost him? Lost who?
Sophia: This guy who keeps following me all the time. Apparently, he's English. I met him down at the Center. He's got the hots for me. As much as an English guy can get the hots.

Quote from Sophia

Rose: Sophia gets chased, and I don't even get a letter.
Sophia: You want Willy, you can have him.
Rose: What's wrong with him?
Sophia: There's nothing wrong with him. OK, so he's 90. He has the profile of a tom-turkey and his butt hits his heels when he walks. He thinks he can pull it off because he wears an ascot and a jaunty cap.
Dorothy: He sounds kinda cute, Ma. I mean, why are you avoiding him?
Sophia: There's no magic, Dorothy. No sparks. You know what I mean?
Dorothy: He's 90; you're 80. Sparks are dangerous.

Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: I know what you mean, Sophia. I would never date a man unless I felt those sparks.
Dorothy: Well, fortunately, you carry flints in your bra.

Quote from Sophia

Rose: I can't believe I'm listening to a discussion about Sophia's love life.
Sophia: Let me hook you up with Willy. He needs to forget me.
Rose: No, thank you.
Sophia: Okay, but you don't know what you're missing. There aren't many guys around who remember where they were when the Archduke Ferdinand was shot.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: I have an idea. I'm going to set her up with one of my discards, Henry Barnes. He's reasonably good-Iooking; he drives a new Buick Riviera; and I heard he just opened a third dry-cleaning store in Boca Raton.
Dorothy: Blanche, where are you going?
Blanche: I'm going to go call Henry. I have nothing to do tonight.
Dorothy: What about Rose?
Blanche: Oh, tell her to call Bud Needham.
Dorothy: Who is Bud Needham?
Blanche: He just took Henry's place in my discard pile.

Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: So, just tell Jackie you'd prefer Marla to do your hair.
Blanche: I can't. Jackie and I go way back together, before bouffant.
Dorothy: God, you're practically family.
Blanche: I know. So, what if I switch to Marla and you take my appointment with Jackie.
Dorothy: But you just told me that Jackie makes you look like a chicken.
Blanche: I know. But with your nose, you could pull it off.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Dorothy, I have a confession to make. I wrote that letter to Rose.
Dorothy: You what?
Blanche: I wrote that letter myself. I made up a name and I answered Rose's ad.
Dorothy: Blanche, how could you? She thinks someone took an interest in her.
Blanche: Well, someone did. Me.
Dorothy: But what if she expects another letter from this guy? What if she decides to go out with him?
Blanche: Then we just write one last farewell letter, before he moves to Saskatchewan, and that's the end of Isaac Newton.
Dorothy: Isaac Newton?
Blanche: It was the first name that came to mind.
Dorothy: Isaac Newton was the first name that came to mind?
Blanche: Actually, Ted Koppel was the first name that came to mind. But he looks like Howdy Doody's illegitimate son.

Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: He could end it with a poem.
Dorothy: He did that last time.
Blanche: No, it's been two or three letters since he wrote a poem.
Dorothy: He doesn't write poems, Blanche. We write poems. Actually, Lord Byron writes poems. We just copy them onto loose-leaf paper.
Blanche: In cleverly disguised handwriting, I might add.
Dorothy: I don't know why I let you talk me into this? I mean, it is out of control, we have to tell Rose the truth.
Blanche: Oh, we can't. It would crush her.
Dorothy: Then it's time to ship Isaac Newton to Saskatchewan.
Blanche: Dorothy, you can't send a citrus farmer to Saskatchewan. How's he going to make a living?
Dorothy: Excuse me. Next time we invent a person, let's make sure that he has a trade that travels.

Quote from Blanche

Rose: Oh, I'm glad everybody's still up. I just had a terrific idea.
Dorothy: Oh, what's that?
Rose: Well, I've been reading and re-reading Isaac's letters, and I've finally decided to tell him I want to meet him.
Blanche: But you said you wouldn't.
Rose: Well, I know what I said. But that was only because I never believed I'd find such a special man.
Dorothy: What makes you think he's special? I mean, you hardly know him.
Rose: I suppose, but it feels like I've known him for ages, and that he's known me. Oh, I've found the most wonderful man in the world, and I owe it all to the two of you. [exits]
Blanche: How do you spell Saskatchewan?

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Dorothy, what are we going to do?
Dorothy: Well, we certainly can't let Rose go out with a guy who said yes to a woman who just picked his name out of a book.
Blanche: You say that like nobody ever does it.

Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: I haven't seen them anywhere.
Blanche: Oh, my God, Dorothy, what if he turns out to be some sort of a depraved ex-convict who's kidnapped Rose, and is dragging her across seven states on a rampage of violence and destruction unparalleled in the annals of modern crime?
Dorothy: Then we probably should have told her about the letters.

Quote from Sophia

Wilfred: You can't get rid of me, Sophia. I won't give up until I make you mine.
Sophia: Here. Hold this. [Sophia places food from the buffet in a plastic baggy]
Wilfred: I know what you're thinking, that I'm only after your money. But I love you from the depths of my soul. The fact that you're a wealthy widow only makes me want to protect you, not to take advantage of you.
Sophia: Whoa, Willy. You got your brains in your ascot? Where did you get the idea I was a wealthy widdow?
Wilfred: RJ Jolonoux.
Sophia: I just told him that so he'd take me to bingo.
Wilfred: You aren't a wealthy widow?
Sophia: I can't even keep a minimum balance in my checking account.
Wilfred: My regards to your lovely family. [exits]


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