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‘Mixed Blessings’ Quotes

The Golden Girls: Mixed Blessings

323. Mixed Blessings

Aired March 19, 1988

Dorothy is surprised when her son Michael announces he's engaged to a woman who happens to be black and nearly twice his age.

Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: Look, race is not even an issue. Your daughter is twice my son's age. What can a women in her 40s possibly have in common with a boy in his 20s?
Blanche: Sex. At 20, a man is at his peak, and a woman in her 40s is also at her peak. So when the two come together, hot damn!

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Quote from Rose

Blanche: Dorothy, just a word of caution. I almost lost my Becky when I stuck my nose into her business. Now, believe me, it is not worth it.
Rose: Blanche is right. The same thing happened to the Vikbotters back in St. Olaf. You see, Gretchen had this thing for Buddy, but Mr. Vikbotter didn't approve. He did his best to keep them apart. But one day he came home early and he found Gretchen and Buddy in... How will I say it? A most indelicate situation.
Dorothy: What did he do?
Rose: Well, he yelled at them to stop, but they wouldn't, so he turned the hose on them.
Blanche: He turned the hose on them?
Rose: Well, they were in the front yard.
Blanche: Oh!
Dorothy: Wait. Wait. Wait a minute, Rose. Buddy and Gretchen weren't people, were they?
Rose: Of course not. They were dogs. Gretchen was a Dalmatian, and Buddy was a schnauzer. And Mr. Vikbotter wasn't too happy when he ended up with a litter of schnalmations.
Blanche: You know, Rose, sometimes I wish somebody had turned the hose on your parents.

Quote from Blanche

Greta: Lorraine, if you want a young man, fine. Just make it a young black man. Why, I could name ten fine, rich, young black men off the top of my head.
Blanche: Wait just a minute till I get a pencil.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: What's all the racket? Oh, Martha and the Vandellas are back.
Dorothy: Ma!
Greta: It's all right, Dorothy. I've got one at home just like her.
Dorothy: You have one at home, too?
Sophia: One at home? What am I, a cocker spaniel? Why don't you just give me an old sock to chew on?

Quote from Blanche

Sophia: You know, I'm glad you showed up. There's something important we didn't discuss this afternoon, and I'd like to get that cleared up before we talk about anything else.
Greta: What is it?
Sophia: Is it true what they say about black men in bed?
Blanche: Oh, yes, definitely. ... Oh, yes, definitely that is something I would like to know about, too.
Dorothy: Blanche, please, that's a stereotype.
Trudy: Call it whatever you want. I'm just grateful it's true.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: There's my ride. I'm off to Epcot.
Dorothy: Wait a minute. Ma, where's your overnight bag?
Sophia: Who needs a bag? We get on the bus, we play cards till we get there, we sleep in a motel, we turn around and come back.
Rose: You go all the way to Epcot and you never look at the exhibits?
Sophia: Please. I'm 82 years old. I'm interested in technology in the year 2000? Hasta luego.

Quote from Dorothy

Rose: Can I ask a dumb question?
Dorothy: Better than anyone I know.
Rose: What color is black people's dandruff?
Dorothy: Rose, black people don't have dandruff. God figures they've been through enough already.

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: Terrific idea. I can't wait to meet her.
Michael: Before you do, Ma, there is something about her you should know. Lorraine is... kind of black.
Dorothy: Kind of black. What does that mean, kind of black? I mean, that's, uh- That's like being kind of Spanish. You know, either you are or you aren't.
Michael: She is.
Dorothy: Oh, God.
Rose: Emilio Estevez is kind of Spanish, Dorothy.
Dorothy: Thank you, Rose.

Quote from Dorothy

Rose: You know, Dorothy, I just thought of something. Lorraine's family's gonna be black, too, aren't they?
Dorothy: Yes, Rose. You know, you could probably make them feel welcome if you do your version of that dance that the Huxtables do at the beginning of The Cosby Show.

Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: Lorraine, I'm terribly sorry.
Lorraine: That's all right. A lot of people are confused by the age difference. You see, I am 44 years old.
Rose: Wow. This is great. I was afraid we wouldn't have anything in common. We're almost the same age.
Blanche: Rose, you make her sound like an old woman. Actually, she's much closer to my age.

Quote from Dorothy

Michael: I just can't believe you feel this way. You know, Lorraine's mother is not the least bit concerned about our age difference.
Dorothy: She's entitled to her opinion.
Michael: You know, you are being very small-minded.
Dorothy: You know, a wise philosopher once said, "There are no small minds, just big heads."
Michael: What the hell does that mean?
Dorothy: I'm not sure. Come to think of it, it wasn't a philosopher. It was Rose.

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: Look, Mrs. Wagner, I'm not thrilled about my son marrying your daughter either.
Greta: Oh, yeah? Why? You got something against black people?
Blanche: Of course not, and I resent the insinuation. Why, we firmly believe that all men are created equal.
Rose: That's a bunch of baloney.
Dorothy: Rose.
Rose: Well, if you don't believe me, just turn on your television and watch a white person dance down the line on Soul Train.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: What is this, a revival of Raisin in the Sun?

Quote from Sophia

Michael: Grandma, this is my fiancée, Lorraine, and this is her mother and two aunts.
Sophia: Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. This is your fiancée?
Michael: Yeah, that's right.
Sophia: You couldn't find someone your own age?
Greta: What is that supposed to mean?
Sophia: No offense. But your daughter looks like she's been around the block more times than the Good Humor Man.
Greta: Hold my purse. Those are fighting words.

Quote from Rose

Rose: Stop it, all of you. What difference does it make that Lorraine's a little long in the tooth and Michael's a skinny white boy? Can't you see they love each other? We should be celebrating, not arguing whether or not it's right. Now, what do you say we all join hands and sing a chorus of "Abraham, Martin, and John."
Greta: Is she for real?
Dorothy: Yep. Frightening, isn't it?


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