Previous Episode Next Episode 
Brother, Can You Spare That Jacket?

‘Brother, Can You Spare That Jacket?’

Season 4, Episode 8 -  Aired December 3, 1988

When the girls win $10,000 on the lottery, Sophia accidentally gives a jacket containing the winning ticket to a local thriftstore.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Boy, we had some great times at the home, didn't we, Ida?
Ida: We sure did.
Sophia: Dorothy, Ida was the best bar none at faking an angina attack at dinner so we could swap our nonfat yogurt for real sour cream. There wasn't a patient at Shady Pines that didn't bless Ida every time we sat down to eat a baked potato.

Rate

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Who's the letter from, Ma?
Sophia: Joanne Pescatore. She's coming to Miami for a visit.
Dorothy: Joanne Pescatore? Didn't she own that little candy store down the street from us in Brooklyn?
Sophia: That was Jeanette Passadano.
Dorothy: Oh. Then who was Joanne Pescatore?
Sophia: How the hell should I know? This letter's for Rose.
Dorothy: Ma, why are you reading Rose's mail?
Sophia: Because all you got were bills. Listen to this at the end. Tell me if you think Joanne's a lesbian.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: How does this go again? To win something, you have to get three to match?
Rose: Right. If you get three coconuts, you win $100.
Dorothy: What if you get three palm trees?
Sophia: You don't have three palm trees. That means you win $10,000.
Dorothy: Ma, I know what a palm tree looks like.
Sophia: You also know what a handsome doctor looks like. It doesn't mean you've got one.

Quote from Rose

Rose: Sophia, she's right. Three palm trees.
Blanche: $10,000. Oh, my God. We just won $10,000.
Dorothy: $10,000! I don't believe it!
Rose: $10,000! Split four ways that's almost $2,000 apiece.
Dorothy, Blanche & Sophia: Almost.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: $10,000! God, life is beautiful.
Blanche: Now I don't feel nearly so guilty about spending all that money on this leather jacket.
Rose: Blanche, I don't mean to be a party pooper, but it looks like they sold you a jacket that someone returned.
It's kind of beat-up.
Dorothy: No, Rose, that's the way it's supposed to look. It's an aviator jacket.
Blanche: And now I can afford some accessories for it.
Rose: Like a purse?
Blanche: Like an aviator.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Where is the jacket, Ma?
Sophia: I gave it to the guy from thriftshop.
Blanche: You what?
Dorothy: Let's go. We've got to get down there before they sell it.
Sophia: What's the big deal? It's only a crummy old old jacket.
Rose: We put the winning lottery ticket in the pocket.
Sophia: Start the engine and open the door. I'll jump in at the bottom of the driveway.

Quote from Rose

Rose: [on the phone] Yes, yes, that's right. It was a winning ticket, but we gave the jacket away. Well, thank you.
Thank you very much. Yes, I'll tell 'em. I'm sure they'll appreciate it. Bye. [hangs up]
Blanche: What did he say?
Rose: He said he was in total agreement that it was a miscarriage of justice and we deserve the money.
Dorothy: Oh! That's great.
Rose: He also told me I'd called his Chinese restaurant instead of the Lottery Commission.
Blanche: Oh.
Rose: He felt so bad, he's giving us free egg rolls the next time we come in.

Quote from Sophia

Rose: I guess now I'll never get to fly on the Concorde.
Blanche: I'll never get to buy that emerald pendant to dangle between my perky bosoms.
Sophia: And I'll never get to buy perky bosoms. But what the hell. Nothing else perks on this body.

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: Maybe we can get the jacket for a minute and grab the ticket out of the pocket.
Blanche: That's a great idea. I bet I could use a little friendly persuasion on that gentleman.
Rose: Persuasion? This isn't dinner at the Rainbow Room, this is ten big ones. Give him whatever he wants. Sorry. I guess I just didn't realize how much I wanted that money.

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: He doesn't even care about the jacket.
Blanche: It's a miracle. This is going to be easy.
Rose: Well, don't take any chances. Sleep with him anyway.

Page 2