Blanche Devereaux Quotes Page 1 of 90

Quote from Hey, Look Me Over

Rose: Wait a minute. If you didn't sleep with any of the men in these journals, then how come it says "Bed" on the cover?
Blanche: [laughs] Oh, that doesn't say "Bed."
Rose: Right there, it does.
Blanche: Oh, silly, those are my initials. Blanche Elizabeth Devereaux.
Dorothy: Your initials spell "Bed"?

Quote from It's a Miserable Life

Blanche: Wish me luck.
Dorothy: Wait. Blanche, why should you do it?
Blanche: Because we'll have a better chance. I happen to be a wonderful orator. And two of the commissioners can verify that.
Dorothy: Blanche, "orator" means "speaker".
Blanche: Really? Oh. Well, somebody else do the talking.

Quote from The Triangle

Blanche: Oh, hello there. I don't believe we've been introduced. My name is Blanche Deveraux. That's French for "Blanche Deveraux."

Quote from Charlie's Buddy

Dorothy: Blanche, have you ever met a man you didn't think was giving you the eye?
Blanche: Once, in 1976. But it was only two days later that Mr. President Jimmy Carter announced to the American people that he had secretly lusted in his heart.

Quote from Job Hunting

Blanche: Well, I certainly didn't wait for my wedding night, honey. I couldn't. I had these urges. You know, in the South, we mature faster. I think it's the heat.
Dorothy: I think it's the gin.
Blanche: Anyhow, my first was Billy. Oh, I remember it so well, just like it was yesterday. That night under the dogwood trees, the air thick with perfume, and me with Billy. Or Bobby. Yeah, Bobby. Yeah, it was Bobby. Or was it Ben? Oh, who knows? Anyway, it started with a "B."

Quote from Love for Sale

Blanche: Believe me, Dorothy, I know what you're going through. I once had a relationship with a man I couldn't get rid of. Every time I turned around, there he was, pathetically underfoot. Long after I outgrew my need for him, he was there with flowers and candy, perfume. I couldn't move without him following me like a puppy dog.
Rose: How'd you finally get rid of him?
Blanche: Monday came, and we both had to go back to work.

Quote from Isn't It Romantic?

Blanche: Come on. I heard you laughing. What's so funny?
Sophia: For starters, Jean is a lesbian.
Dorothy: Ma.
Blanche: What's funny about that?
Sophia: You aren't surprised?
Blanche: Of course not. I mean, I've never known any personally, but isn't Danny Thomas one?
Dorothy: Not Lebanese, Blanche. Lesbian.
Blanche: Lesbian. Lesbian. Lesbian?! But isn't that where one woman and another...
Dorothy: We already know what it means.

Quote from There Goes the Bride: Part 2

Blanche: Oh, you just look so beautiful. You know, this reminds me of the day I married George. Oh, it was an exquisite wedding. 500 people in that big, old church and I didn't have any underwear on.
Dorothy: Why?
Blanche: I just felt it was the right thing to do.

Quote from Blanche and the Younger Man

Blanche: I am talking about what's happening between Dirk and me. It's something really special, something fragile and rare. I've only felt this once before. It was during my 17th summer and I was working behind the cosmetics counter at the Rexall drugstore. I was stocking the Maybelline display when I heard this booming voice say, "Excuse me, ma'am. Where are the cuticle scissors?" I turned around and there he was. Our eyes locked, and for one brief moment, there was nobody else on earth but the two of us.
Dorothy: Please, Blanche. Sidney Sheldon tells shorter stories!
Blanche: I know in my heart, if I'd just followed my feelings that day at the Rexall drugstore, today I would be Mrs. Andy Griffith! I tell you what, I'm not gonna make the same mistake with Dirk that I made with Andy.
Dorothy: Didn't she tell us that story before?
Sophia: Yes, but the last time it was Woolworth's, a toenail clipper, and John Cameron Swayze.

Quote from Great Expectations

Blanche: I used to attract men who were young and active and virile, but now they just want to date girls in their 20s and 30s. What's a great-looking gal in her 40s to do?
Dorothy: Perhaps we should find one and ask her.

Quote from Henny Penny - Straight, No Chaser

Dorothy: Rose, honey, there's no reason to be upset about Henny Penny. Fairy tales just show kids how complicated life can be, and it does it on their terms.
Blanche: I remember when I first read Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, it had a profound influence on me. Seven lonely men livin' in the woods, needin' a woman. All of 'em with Napoleon complexes, somethin' to prove.
Dorothy: And jobs, Blanche. They all had jobs.
Blanche: In a diamond mine.

Quote from Wham, Bam, Thank You, Mammy!

Blanche: I don't know what to think. This changes everything I ever thought about Big Daddy. I always assumed that he and Mama had a wonderful sex life. I walked in on 'em once when I was a little girl. There was all this huffin' and puffin' and high-pitched sounds. Then suddenly Big Daddy shouted "Glory!" and they both lit up cigarettes. I vowed then and there I would never do anything so repulsive.
Rose: So what happened?
Blanche: Oh, Bobby Joe Porter explained to me that the cigarette part was optional.

Quote from The Mangiacavallo Curse Makes a Lousy Wedding Present

Blanche: This is the last time I ever date a doctor. Imagine dumping me for an emergency appendectomy! I just hate it when doctors use the Hippocratic oath as an excuse for everything.
Dorothy: Blanche, it was his appendix.

Quote from Even Grandmas Get the Blues

Sophia: What's with this guy? He must be blind as a bat.
Blanche: There are lots of ways you can trick a man into thinkin' you're younger than you really are. You wear sunglasses, put on a little extra makeup, go to dimly lit restaurants.
Rose: We've all done that.
Blanche: Fly to Nevada to get a fake birth certificate. Have a phony high school yearbook printed up. Change the dates on your parents' graves.
Dorothy: We've all done that.

Quote from Questions and Answers

Dorothy: I'm gonna do it, Ma. This is my shot. They're taking applications beginning Monday morning. I am going to be the first in line.
Blanche: Make that second.
Dorothy: What are you talking about, Blanche? You've never cared about Jeopardy.
Blanche: No, but I do care for Alex Trebek. You see, I've never had a Canadian who wasn't on skates.
Dorothy: I'm sorry. I didn't know.
Blanche: I have this recurring fantasy. "Take me, Alex. Take me, now," I tell him. And he says to me, "Ah, ah, ah, Blanche. In the form of a question."