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‘Rose the Prude’ Quotes

The Golden Girls: Rose the Prude

103. Rose the Prude

Aired September 28, 1985

After Blanche convinces her to go on a double date, Rose meets a charming man but is unsure about taking the things to the next level.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Honey, lean over a mirror some time and take a look at yourself.
Blanche: Where's a mirror?
Sophia: There's one in the tool drawer.
Dorothy: I think you'd better take a sedative before you look.
Blanche: Don't be silly. I look at my face all the time. How different could it be leaning over? Oh, my God! Oh, my God, Dorothy, why didn't you tell me about this before?
Dorothy: Only on your back, Blanche. That way everything slides back and you look like you just had a face lift.
Blanche: Oh, you're right. I'm gorgeous. I'm gonna have to meet men lying down.
Sophia: I thought you did.
Dorothy: Of course that way, not only does your face fall back, but your chest does too. Unfortunately, it falls back and off to the side.

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Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Oh, it was a terrible time for me. You know, I'd gone on an eating binge when Stan left and I put on quite a bit of weight. Plus, I was not a 20-year-old. You know, when you're 20, no matter what you do, everything stays where it's supposed to. Now, when you lean over, it looks like somebody's let the air out of your face.

Quote from Dorothy

Rose: Arnie wants me to go away with him on a cruise to the Bahamas.
Blanche: Oh, and you're upset because he wants you to pay your own way?
Rose: I'm upset because we'll be all alone. In the middle of the ocean. On a ship. In a state room. With a bed.
Blanche: Oh.
Rose: I don't know what to do. I haven't been with a man in that special way since Charlie died.
Blanche: Get out of here!
Rose: It's true! Charlie was the only lover I ever had. And my first time was on our wedding night.
Blanche: Get out of here!
Dorothy: Oh, back off, Blanche! Not all of us are classified by the Navy as a friendly port!

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: As the reverend was performing the funeral service, I knew for sure that he wanted me.
Dorothy: Oh!
Blanche: I'd always known that there'd been something between us. Sometimes from the pulpit, he'd be talking about sin and he'd look straight at me. We couldn't do anything about it because he was married. But after his wife died, there was no stopping him.
Sophia: So?
Blanche: Well, we could finally consummate our long and burning passion.
Dorothy: And?
Blanche: It took about ten minutes. He wore his watch and his socks. I never saw him again.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Blanche, come on now! Be happy for her! She finally met someone. I mean, you go out with lots of interesting guys!
Blanche: Name one.
Dorothy: How about that coach from the Miami Dolphins?
Blanche: Oh, yeah. That night was kind of fun. The training room, the whirlpool, the adhesive tape. Name another one.
Dorothy: Honey, take a cold shower.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: I'm going next door to Frieda Goodson's. We're having a club meeting.
Blanche: I didn't know you were in a club.
Sophia: Yeah, a bunch of us get together and send our pictures in to Willard Scott with a note saying we're 100.
Dorothy: Ma, that's ridiculous!
Sophia: You got a better way to get on The Today Show? [opening the door] Will you take it inside, Rose? This isn't the French Quarter!

Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: Honey, are you all right?
Rose: I'll be fine.
Blanche: Is this about Arnie?
Dorothy: No, Blanche, she's upset because they keep changing the taste of Coke.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Now listen, I want to know just as much as you two. But what happened between her and Arnie is private. If she wants to talk about it, fine. But if she doesn't, I don't want anybody asking any embarrassing questions.
Rose: [entering] I'm back!
Sophia: So, did you and Arnie play find the cannoli?

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Discard already! I'm 80, I'd like to live long enough to see the next hand!
Dorothy: No need to, Ma. Gin.
Sophia: You're taking advantage. You know I'm whacked out on blood pressure medicine.
Dorothy: Honey, if the medicine bothers you, change the prescription.
Sophia: I like being whacked out.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Oh, Rose, honey, are you up for a night on the town with two handsome, eligible bachelors?
Rose: Thanks for asking, but I don't think so. I'm not that interested in dating anymore.
Blanche: Now you know that's not true, honey, or you'd let your hair go natural.

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: Rose, why do you look so depressed?
Rose: I'm tired of going out and not enjoying myself. All the men I meet act so old. Last week, I went out with this man that talked for two hours about his prostate problems. I lived in Minnesota for 51 years, I never even heard of a prostate.
Dorothy: Honey, they don't have them there. It's too cold.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: Dorothy? What's the matter? Something wrong?
Sophia: The thrill of victory! The agony of defeat!
Blanche: I don't know why you play cards with your mother. It just makes you crazy.
Dorothy: You're absolutely right, Blanche! This has gone on far too long! Mom, I am not playing gin with you anymore!
Sophia: You'll be back. You know why? You're too competitive! It's always been your worst feature. Actually, your ears are your worst feature. But competitive is right up there!
Dorothy: Do you believe that?
Blanche: No. I always thought your bony feet were your worst feature.

Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: Wait a minute, you haven't told me about the double date!
Blanche: It was a complete disaster.
Dorothy: You mean Rose and her guy didn't hit it off?
Blanche: Oh no, they got along just great. It was my escort who turned out to be the dud. Next time, I'm gonna date both brothers before I give one away.

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: I hear you had a great time tonight.
Rose: It was the best! I haven't laughed so much or acted so silly since I was a teenager. You know what we did?
Dorothy: What?
Rose: We ran a tollbooth! Arnie said he just did it because it was there! Oh, he is the most outrageous, unpredictable man I have ever met!
Blanche: Jeffrey's on a low-sodium diet.
Rose: I can't remember when I had so much fun! We went dancing at The Beachcomber. We're gonna go back again tomorrow night.
Blanche: Jeffrey doesn't dance. He says it makes his ankles swell.

Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: Oh, Dorothy, would you please open this jar of macadamia nuts for me?
Dorothy: You can't get it open?
Blanche: Oh, I didn't try. I don't want to risk cracking a nail.
Dorothy: What are these, claws?
Blanche: I figured you wouldn't mind, seeing as how you work with your hands all day.
Dorothy: I'm a teacher, I grade papers. I don't shuck oysters!

Quote from Dorothy

Rose: Maybe it sounds strange, but without Charlie, I thought that part of my life was over. I never gave it a second thought.
Dorothy: Until now? Then I think you should go on the cruise. Honey, if the situation is right, you'll know it.
Rose: But I'm not sure I'm ready.
Dorothy: Oh, honey, I know what you're going through. The bottom line is, if you take a chance in life, sometimes good things happen, sometimes bad things happen. But honey, if you don't take a chance, nothing happens.
Rose: I'm gonna take a chance.

Quote from Blanche

Rose: Oh, I have to look in my closet. I don't even know what to wear the first night on the ship.
Blanche: A life jacket and a great big smile.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: No, I just wonder if maybe we didn't push her into something too fast.
Blanche: What I can't understand is how in the world she managed to wait 15 years.
Dorothy: How long did you wait after George died?
Sophia: 'Till the paramedics came.
Dorothy: Ma!

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Your father didn't even take off his pants!
Dorothy: Ma!
Blanche: What about you, Dorothy? Who was the first after Stan, hmm?
Dorothy: Blanche.
Sophia: Her divorce lawyer.
Dorothy: How did you know?
Sophia: It's always the divorce lawyer.

Quote from Rose

Arnie: Rose, Rose, are you still in there? This is crazy! Look, I talked to the purser. Another cabin is available and I'll move to it. But I need to get in the bathroom, Rose. I hate to go anywhere without my Actifed. [Rose opens the door] Good morning.
Rose: I can't let you see my eyes. They look terrible from crying.
Arnie: Rose, you couldn't possibly look terrible to me. I left my contact lenses in the bathroom.
Rose: I'm sorry. I am so sorry.
Arnie: Yeah, it can be awkward.
Rose: I thought I could do it, I really did. And then I couldn't. You see, it would have been the first time since my husband died.
Arnie: I figured it was the first time. It's been 15 years since he died, huh? Boy, he must have been something.
Rose: This may sound silly, but it's true. I felt I would be unfaithful to Charlie if I slept with you.
Arnie: Rose, it's not silly. I felt that way when my wife died.
Rose: You did?
Arnie: Absolutely. 'Course I didn't let that stop me.
Rose: You mean you'd just make love and feel lousy?
Arnie: Well, I'd feel lousy about it. But otherwise, I'd feel terrific. Look, that's the difference between men and women, I guess. We can do it no matter what.

Quote from Rose

Arnie: Rose, I adored Molly, my wife. We were married 34 years. Never slept with another woman. I looked, I enjoyed, I patted a few bottoms, but that was it, Rose. No, Molly was my world. Then one day... a drunk in a Chevy took my world away. For a year, I was a zombie. I dressed, I worked, I slept. For fun, I ate onion sandwiches. Then one day, my daughter sat me down and she said, "Mom would hate what you're doing. She would say, 'Arnie, who are you saving yourself for? I'm dead. And I'm not in heaven if I have to worry about you."' That convinced me. I wonder what Charlie would say, if he knew.
Rose: Probably the same thing Molly said.
Arnie: Molly didn't actually say that, Rose.
Rose: There's something else.
Arnie: Oh?
Rose: I might kill you.
Arnie: What? What are you talking about?
Rose: I've never told anybody this in my life, but my husband died while he was making love to me. And I'm afraid if we make love, I'll kill you.
Arnie: If you haven't made love in 15 years, that's a possibility.

Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: Just sit down here, honey, and tell us all about your trip.
Rose: Oh, it was fabulous! The food was delicious. The weather was absolutely gorgeous. And the activities on board ship, well, the list goes on forever! Masquerade balls, hootenannies, tours of the engine room, fashion shows, Jazzercize, Las Vegas Night, Monte Carlo Night, Rio Night, Riviera Night-
Dorothy: Who cares, Rose! Did you and Arnie hit the sheets or not?
Sophia: Dorothy!
Rose: Some women don't kiss and tell.
Blanche: Oh, shoot, honey, that's half the fun. Most of the boys I dated in college were just for the stories.
Dorothy: You must have more stories than O. Henry!


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