Dorothy: Honey, lean over a mirror some time and take a look at yourself.
Blanche: Where's a mirror?
Sophia: There's one in the tool drawer.
Dorothy: I think you'd better take a sedative before you look.
Blanche: Don't be silly. I look at my face all the time. How different could it be leaning over? Oh, my God! Oh, my God, Dorothy, why didn't you tell me about this before?
Dorothy: Only on your back, Blanche. That way everything slides back and you look like you just had a face lift.
Blanche: Oh, you're right. I'm gorgeous. I'm gonna have to meet men lying down.
Sophia: I thought you did.
Dorothy: Of course that way, not only does your face fall back, but your chest does too. Unfortunately, it falls back and off to the side.

Dorothy: Oh, it was a terrible time for me. You know, I'd gone on an eating binge when Stan left and I put on quite a bit of weight. Plus, I was not a 20-year-old. You know, when you're 20, no matter what you do, everything stays where it's supposed to. Now, when you lean over, it looks like somebody's let the air out of your face.

Rose: Arnie wants me to go away with him on a cruise to the Bahamas.
Blanche: Oh, and you're upset because he wants you to pay your own way?
Rose: I'm upset because we'll be all alone. In the middle of the ocean. On a ship. In a state room. With a bed.
Blanche: Oh.
Rose: I don't know what to do. I haven't been with a man in that special way since Charlie died.
Blanche: Get out of here!
Rose: It's true! Charlie was the only lover I ever had. And my first time was on our wedding night.
Blanche: Get out of here!
Dorothy: Oh, back off, Blanche! Not all of us are classified by the Navy as a friendly port!

Blanche: As the reverend was performing the funeral service, I knew for sure that he wanted me.
Dorothy: Oh!
Blanche: I'd always known that there'd been something between us. Sometimes from the pulpit, he'd be talking about sin and he'd look straight at me. We couldn't do anything about it because he was married. But after his wife died, there was no stopping him.
Sophia: So?
Blanche: Well, we could finally consummate our long and burning passion.
Dorothy: And?
Blanche: It took about ten minutes. He wore his watch and his socks. I never saw him again.

Dorothy: Blanche, come on now! Be happy for her! She finally met someone. I mean, you go out with lots of interesting guys!
Blanche: Name one.
Dorothy: How about that coach from the Miami Dolphins?
Blanche: Oh, yeah. That night was kind of fun. The training room, the whirlpool, the adhesive tape. Name another one.
Dorothy: Honey, take a cold shower.

Sophia: I'm going next door to Frieda Goodson's. We're having a club meeting.
Blanche: I didn't know you were in a club.
Sophia: Yeah, a bunch of us get together and send our pictures in to Willard Scott with a note saying we're 100.
Dorothy: Ma, that's ridiculous!
Sophia: You got a better way to get on the Today show? [opening the door] Will you take it inside, Rose? This isn't the French Quarter!

Blanche: Honey, are you all right?
Rose: I'll be fine.
Blanche: Is this about Arnie?
Dorothy: No, Blanche, she's upset because they keep changing the taste of Coke.

Dorothy: Now listen, I want to know just as much as you two. But what happened between her and Arnie is private. If she wants to talk about it, fine. But if she doesn't, I don't want anybody asking any embarrassing questions.
Rose: [entering] I'm back!
Sophia: So, did you and Arnie play find the cannoli?

Sophia: Discard already! I'm 80, I'd like to live long enough to see the next hand!
Dorothy: No need to, Ma. Gin.
Sophia: You're taking advantage. You know I'm whacked out on blood pressure medicine.
Dorothy: Honey, if the medicine bothers you, change the prescription.
Sophia: I like being whacked out.

Blanche: Oh, Rose, honey, are you up for a night on the town with two handsome, eligible bachelors?
Rose: Thanks for asking, but I don't think so. I'm not that interested in dating anymore.
Blanche: Now you know that's not true, honey, or you'd let your hair go natural.