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39Quotes from ‘The Engagement’

The Golden Girls: The Engagement

101. The Engagement

Aired September 14, 1985

Dorothy and Rose are concerned when Blance considers marrying a man she met only a week ago. Meanwhile, Sophia arrives at the girls' house after her retirement home burns down.

Quote from Sophia

Rose: I don't drink before bedtime. I stop all liquids at noon and I still wake up.
Sophia: I never have that problem. Never. I sleep like a log. I never get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I go in the morning. Every morning like clockwork, at 7 am I pee. Unfortunately, I don't wake up till 8.

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Quote from Dorothy

[Dorothy holds a hand-mirror under Sophia's mouth]
Rose: What are you doing? She's sleeping.
Dorothy: Just checking. You never know.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Tell me, how is Blanche?
Rose: She didn't go to work again today. It's been three weeks and she just sits in her room. The museum's gonna fire her.
Dorothy: Well, we've tried everything: golf, the movies, theater tickets. She wouldn't even budge for Julio Iglesias.
Rose: I know grief. It takes time.
Dorothy: Please, Rose. Listen, if you're Irish, you have a wake. You eat, you cry, you drink, you vomit, and you're done. If you're Jewish, you cry, you sit, you eat for seven days, you put on ten pounds, and it's over. We Italians scream, dress up a donkey, hire a band, and that's that. It's these southern Protestants who make it a way of life.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: Everybody, this is Harry. Harry, this is Rose.
Harry: Rose.
Blanche: And Dorothy.
Harry: Dorothy.
Dorothy: Hi, Harry.
Blanche: And this is Sophia.
Harry: Well, you must be Blanche's sister.
Sophia: You must be blind.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: Sophia's home just burned down.
Harry: Oh, that's terrible!
Sophia: Not to me. It was a retirement home, and you know what they did? They set off the fire alarm in a retirement home. Who can rush? Half the people have walkers, the other half can't get out of their chairs. But they got bells going off like crazy. You know what that does to hearts that only beat a few times a week? It's not pretty.

Quote from Dorothy

Rose: Maybe that's why he left, because you forced him into it.
Dorothy: Rose, he left me 38 years later. For a stewardess that he met on a business trip to Hawaii. It was her first flight. They said, "On arrival, give the passengers a lei." She got confused... He got lucky, and they now live on Maui. It's really wonderful. A 65-year-old man with gout learning to windsurf. I hope he trips on his thongs and falls into a volcano.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: I just need some cucumbers to put on my eyes.
Dorothy: You'll have trouble seeing, Blanche.
Blanche: It's very good. It reduces puffiness.
Rose: Does it work on thighs?
Blanche: I don't know, honey. I don't need it on my thighs.

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: You know, I had the shock of my life today. I was in the teacher's lounge, talking to a group of girls in their twenties. Oh, they were so pretty. At that age, you don't even have to be pretty and you're pretty. Anyway, we were laughing and giggling and having a great time and I completely forgot that I was older. You know, I just felt like one of the girls. And we had a wonderful time. And then I got into my car and caught a glimpse of myself, and I almost had a heart attack. This old woman was in the mirror. I didn't even recognize her.
Rose: Who was it?
Dorothy: It was me.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Ma, Ma, the cab driver said you promised him a $67 tip!
Sophia: Don't be silly. I said a six, seven dollar tip. Why don't these people learn English if they're gonna live here? This is Miami. I'd have less trouble getting around Ecuador.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: $67? Ma, Ma, this is crazy. The home is 15 minutes from here.
Sophia: My cab driver is Cuban. He said there was an additional tax for a bilingual driver.
Dorothy: I'll take care of him.
Rose: Sit down, Sophia. You must be exhausted.
Sophia: Why? I rode in the cab. I didn't push it.

Quote from Rose

Rose: This is so sad. We were all so lonely and then by a miracle we found each other.
Dorothy: Rose, we both answered an ad to share Blanche's house that we found in the supermarket. It was not the resurrection. It is hardly a miracle.
Rose: To me it was a miracle because we're happy. It's not fair, you know. I mean, we get married, we have kids, the kids leave, and our husbands die. Is that some kind of a test? You don't work that hard, you don't go through everything you go through to be left alone. We are alone, Dorothy, we really are. Our families are gone and we're alone. And there are too many years left, and I don't know what to do.
Sophia: Get a poodle.

Quote from Rose

Rose: I used to sleep so well. I never even turned over. I'd wake up with a perfect hairdo. Charlie, on the other hand, moves all night long. His side of the bed looks like a murder took place.
Dorothy: Rose, Charlie is dead.
Coco: Why tell her?
Dorothy: Coco, it's 15 years!
Rose: I know he's dead. I'm not crazy. I just like to talk about him in the present tense sometimes. It makes him seem closer.
Coco: That's fine, Rose. You do that. I don't mind at all.
Dorothy: Sure, Rose. Set a place at the table.

Quote from Rose

Blanche: I had the stone crabs. I never had stone crabs. You ever have stone crabs?
Dorothy: Yes. Yes, Blanche. Just tell us.
Blanche: I was just so relieved they didn't have eyes. I can't eat anything with eyes, like lobster.
Rose: I can't eat anything that moves.
Dorothy: Like what, Rose? Horses?
Rose: Like oysters.
Coco: Oysters don't move!
Dorothy: Coco, they could dance! Who cares? Tell us.
Rose: Oysters move! Very slowly. You have to watch very closely.

Quote from Rose

Rose: Charlie and I waited two whole years before we got married.
Dorothy: I got married before my father finished the sentence.
Rose: You married your father?
Dorothy: My father told Stan that he had to marry me. I was pregnant.
Rose: You had a blowgun wedding?
Dorothy: If you live in the Amazon. In Queens, it's called "shotgun."

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Oh, it's you.
Rose: Oh, Sophia, did we wake you?
Sophia: I heard noise. I thought it was robbers, so I hid my jewels. Now I can't remember where.
Dorothy: Ma, you don't have any jewels.
Sophia: Thank God, because I can't find them.
Coco: Tea, Sophia?
Sophia: How about a shot of gin with a beer back?

Quote from Rose

Rose: There's just something about it I don't like, and I have to tell Blanche.
Dorothy: Tell Blanche what?
Rose: That she can't marry him!
Dorothy: The wedding is in 12 minutes! You can't tell her that.
Rose: I owe it to her. I'm her friend.
Dorothy: But there's nothing to tell her. This is just some crazy hunch.
Rose: My hunches are never wrong. Mrs. Gandhi would be alive today if she had taken my call.

Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: Blanche, do you want to read the note? Do you want me to read it to you? "Dear Blanche, I guess you know by now. I'm really sorry. The thing is, I really liked you. This time was different. You're a special lady. Maybe someday you'll write to me. Harry."
Blanche: Oh, God. I'm stunned. I'm just stunned.
Dorothy: I know.
Blanche: Oh, I feel like such an old fool. Not just a fool, but an old fool. My God, I just wanna die.
Rose: You're not a fool, Blanche. You're a beautiful, loving, trusting woman. There's no fool here, Blanche.
Blanche: I guess maybe I'm hoping the shock will be too much for my heart and I'll just drop dead right here. And the minister can bury me with Mr. Pinkus. I won't have to look anyone in the eye ever again.
Rose: Except maybe Mr. Pinkus.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: If I meet our paperboy, he will not live to be a paper man. Florida is having a drought. In the entire state, there is not enough water to make a cup of tea. He finds a puddle.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: When I go, put me in a steel sack and leave me on the curb next to the cans.
Dorothy: We thought you were asleep.
Sophia: You never know.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Ma, you want to join us?
Sophia: Nope. I gotta rest. I got a date tonight.
Dorothy: Huh? With whom?
Sophia: The fancy man and I are going to the dog track.
Blanche: Your mother bets?
Dorothy: No, she rides. She's a dog jockey.

Quote from Dorothy

Rose: Who's she going out with?
Coco: Harry again.
Dorothy: Harry? Who is this Harry?
Rose: All Blanche said was he still has his own teeth and hair.
Dorothy: Oh, it is wonderful dating in Miami. All the single men under 80 are cocaine smugglers.
Rose: You know, I'd kill to be 20 again.
Dorothy: Oh, I would kill to be 40 again.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Oh, Rose, I'm borrowing your earrings. Lord, I'd love to get a face-lift by 8:00.
Dorothy: Blanche, who is Harry?
Blanche: Oh, girls, he's just wonderful. He's very gallant, he's a perfect gentleman, he's a great dancer. And he doesn't make noises when he chews.
Dorothy: Chewing, that's way up there on my list. Comes right after intelligent.
Blanche: He doesn't talk loud at the movies, doesn't take his own pulse, and he's still interested.
Rose: In what?
Dorothy: Rose, if you have to ask, it does not matter anymore.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Blanche, Blanche, your friend Harry wants an answer tonight. What are you gonna tell him?
Blanche: I haven't decided. I guess I'll know when I hear it come out of my mouth.
Dorothy: You'll know when you hear it come out of your mouth? This isn't a belch, Blanche. This is marriage!

Quote from Dorothy

Rose: You mustn't rush into anything, Blanche. You hardly know him.
Blanche: I just wonder what my husband George would think about me and Harry.
Dorothy: Well, if he was alive, he probably would not like it. But since he's dead, I don't think it poses a problem.
Blanche: I just want him to know that I'm happy, but that I could never be as happy with Harry in the same way as I was with him.
Rose: He knows, Blanche. He knows. Your thoughts and feelings go right to him. You can communicate directly from your heart. Can't you, Dorothy?
Dorothy: Oh, don't ask me. I can't get through to New Jersey with MCI.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Hi there.
Dorothy: Ma! Ma, what's the matter?
Sophia: Everyone is fine. No one died. The home burned down.
Dorothy: My God, are you all right? How'd you get here?
Sophia: I hitched.
Dorothy: Oh, Ma!
Sophia: A cab. I took a cab.
Dorothy: Well, you should've called.
Sophia: I'm perfectly capable of managing by myself. I don't need help. I'm a totally independent person.
Dorothy: I know, I know.
Sophia: I need $67 for the cab.


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