Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘The Way We Met’ Quotes

The Golden Girls: The Way We Met

125. The Way We Met

Aired May 10, 1986

When the girls can't sleep after watching a scary movie, they reminisce about how they all met each other.

Quote from Dorothy

[flashback:]
Rose: I'll make it up to you, Dorothy, I promise. Listen, if there's ever a night where you can't sleep, I'll come to your room and sing "Kumbaya."
Dorothy: Rose, I don't know what to say. Yes, I do. Don't ever do that.

Rate

Quote from Dorothy

[flashback:]
Dorothy: You know, until I met you, Rose, I didn't know that people actually talk back to their Rice Krispies.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: I was never a night person, either. Until I blossomed into young womanhood and realized I was even more devastating by moonlight.
Dorothy: Of course.
Blanche: I will never forget the night I made that discovery. It was during the spring cotillion. I was wearing a long white dress and my first push-up bra. And Bobby "Buck" McAIlister and I were enjoying a glass of punch out on the veranda, when a beam of moonlight hit my cleavage. Suddenly, the band began to play. It was at that moment I realized my bosoms had the power to make music.
Dorothy: Didn't Bette Midler win a special Grammy for that?

Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: Oh, I never should have watched it, either. It always upsets me, especially that shower scene. Why, it's the reason I prefer not to shower alone.
Dorothy: Sure, Blanche. And Goldilocks and the Three Bears is why you prefer not to sleep alone.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: [v.o.] At that moment. I was convinced I'd blown it. I was sure I'd made a bad first impression. But then I met Rose and I realized I could have shown up naked, playing a ukulele and still gotten the room.
[flashback:]
Rose: Oh, it's been such a lovely day. Mr. Sunshine really gave us one of his biggest and brightest smiles. Oh, I feel like putting my arms around Mother Nature and giving her a big kiss. Hi, you must be Dorothy.
Dorothy: And you must be Mrs. Rogers.

Quote from Sophia

[flashback:]
Blanche: Well, are you ladies considering taking both rooms?
Dorothy: Oh, no. Just me. Mother lives at the Shady Pines Retirement Home.
Blanche: Oh, the Shady Pines. I know the Shady Pines: it's a lovely place.
Sophia: It's a prison. They lock us in our rooms and force us to look like we're having fun. Then they take pictures for their brochure.

Quote from Rose

[flashback:]
Rose: This is exactly what happened during the Great Herring War.
Blanche: The Great Herring War?
Rose: Yes. Between the Lindstroms and the Johanssons.
Dorothy: Oh, that Great Herring War!
Rose: The two families controlled the most fertile herring waters off the coast of Norway, so naturally, it seemed like it would be in their best interest to band together. Oh, boy, was that a mistake. You see, they couldn't agree on what to do with the herring.
Dorothy: Oh, well, that's understandable. I mean, the possibilities are overwhelming.
Rose: Exactly. The Johanssons wanted to pickle the herring and the Lindstroms wanted to train them for the circus.
Blanche: Weren't they kind of hard to see, riding on the elephants?
Rose: Oh, not that kind of circus. A herring circus. Sort of like SeaWorld, only smaller. Much, much smaller. But bigger than a flea circus.
Dorothy: Tell me, Rose, um did they ever shoot a herring out of a cannon?
Rose: Only once. But they shot him into a tree. After that, no other herring would do it.
Blanche: You're making this up!
Rose: I am not! My grandfather told me that story. Of course, he also used to call me by my sister's name. And sometimes, he'd wear his underwear on the outside of his pants. I guess he wasn't a very reliable source.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Well, I think I'll have just one more cup of tea.
Dorothy: Yeah, and we can finish the cheesecake.
Rose: Sounds good.
Blanche: You know what would go so good on this cheesecake is those chocolate sprinkles.
Rose: We finished those an hour ago.
Dorothy: We could crush some Oreos on top.
Rose: We ran out of those two hours ago.
Dorothy: How about some whip cream?
Blanche: Mm! I think we still have a can. I'll get it, it's in my bedroom.
Dorothy: Never mind, Blanche.

Quote from Dorothy

Rose: Oh, Dorothy! What do you mean sneaking up on me like that? You scared me half to death!
Dorothy: I'm sorry, Rose. Next time I walk into a dark room in the middle of the night, I'll send a mariachi band ahead of me.

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: What are you doing up?
Rose: I thought I heard a strange noise.
Dorothy: What kind of strange noise?
Rose: Like someone walking slowly up creaking stairs.
Dorothy: We don't have stairs.
Rose: I know! How strange is that?

Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: What is it? I heard screams! What's happening?
Rose: No, nothing. Everything's fine, Blanche.
Dorothy: We never should have watched Psycho. For 25 years, I have avoided that picture, even when Stan invited me to the Roxy instead of over to his mother's house for dinner. And it turned out that my instincts were right, Norman Bates is scarier than my mother-in-law. And a much better dresser.

Quote from Rose

[flashback:]
Blanche: Are you OK?
Rose: Oh, I'm fine.
Blanche: Oh, I know exactly what you're going through. I can read it in your face.
Rose: You can?
Blanche: Oh, sure. Your husband or your boyfriend dumped you. Oh, honey, don't let it get you down. It's just the nature of the beast. They'd do it in the mud if they had to. You just go sleep with his best friend. That'll even up the score.
Rose: [looking around] Am I on Candid Camera?

Quote from Rose

[flashback:]
Blanche: You mean, you didn't get dumped?
Rose: Well, actually, I did by my landlord. He threw me out of my apartment, but I couldn't sleep with his best friend. He's over 80 years old and thinks he's the Archduke Ferdinand.
Blanche: Why did he throw you out?
Rose: Well, the new owners of the building don't allow cats, and I'm not about to part with Mr. Peepers.
Blanche: Oh, I guess you two have been through a lot together, huh?
Rose: Yes, I found him last week. But I wouldn't feel right having a home if he didn't. We've become very attached.
Blanche: You know, I think that shows great strength of character. I like you and I like cats. I also happen to have a room for rent, and the name is Blanche Devereaux.
Rose: Why would you name a room Blanche Devereaux?

Quote from Rose

[flashback:]
Blanche: Say, Rose Look, now, I'm not making any promises, but how would you like to take a look at that Blanche Devereaux room?
Rose: Really? I'd love to.
Blanche: Come on, let's go.
Rose: By the way, what's your name?

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: [v.o.] That last remark was the reason I didn't let you move in that same day. But after I saw what I had to choose from, you seemed like a gift from heaven. You wouldn't believe some of the people I interviewed.
[flashback:]
Blanche: Well, I think that about completes our tour, Madame Zelda. Anything else I can tell you about the place?
Zelda: Yes. Was a young woman in a nurse's uniform murdered in this house with a handsaw?
Blanche: Heavens, no!
Zelda: Are you sure? I'm getting a very strong vibration. I see a woman in a white uniform, writhing and screaming. And there's a man kneeling over her.
Blanche: Well, if it was last Wednesday, that was me and the gentleman I'm currently dating, but that was a French maid's uniform.
Zelda: Mrs. Devereaux, you must leave this house at once. It's possessed by an evil spirit.
Blanche: Actually, it's possessed by Miami Federal. And at seven percent, you couldn't blast me out of here.

Quote from Sophia

[flashback:]
Blanche: This is the lanai. It is wonderful in the summertime. Especially if you like to sunbathe with your top off.
Dorothy: Oh, really, really? And the neighbors can't see in.
Blanche: Oh, sure they can.
Sophia: The woman has "slut" embroidered on her underwear.

Quote from Blanche

[flashback:]
Blanche: Dear things, I'm afraid I'm running a little late. May I just ask you a few questions?
Dorothy: Well, of course. Go right ahead.
Blanche: What do you call an inhabitant of Guam?
Dorothy: I don't know. A Guamanian, I guess. What does this have to do with renting the room?
Blanche: Oh, nothing. I just wanted to finish my crossword puzzle.

Quote from Sophia

[flashback:]
Blanche: Now, then, Dorothy, would you say you are a very neat person?
Dorothy: Oh, yes. Very, very neat.
Sophia: Please. You're neat and I wear a D cup.

Quote from Rose

[flashback:]
Rose: Blanche, I know I can't replace it, but I wanna make it up to you. Listen, since this is our first night as roommates, I'd like to invite the two of you to dinner at my favorite restaurant.
Dorothy: Well, that's very sweet of you, Rose.
Blanche: Well, thank you, Rose.
Rose: Then we'd better hurry, 'cause the Strawberry Blizzard Special at the Dairy Queen only lasts till five. Come on, I'll drive.
Dorothy: Oh, let's not drive. Let's skip there.

Quote from Rose

Rose: Oh, my goodness, It's 2:00 in the morning.
Dorothy: And I am still wide awake.
Blanche: Me too.
Rose: You know, before I met you two girls, I was never up this late. Except, of course, during the Jerry Lewis Telethon.
Dorothy: Of course.

Quote from Blanche

[flashback:]
Rose: Walking by that sausage case back there really brought back a lot of memories.
Dorothy: Sausage opens a floodgate for many of us, Rose.
Dorothy: What's this, Blanche?
Blanche: Smoked oysters.
Dorothy: Oh, come on. Now, I know we said we'd go in on everything equally, but this is four dollars a can.
Blanche: Well, we have to have these. They're absolutely essential. Well, if you ever have a date with a man who's a little sluggish a tin of these and a bottle of cold duck, you'll be prying him off the wall.

Quote from Blanche

[flashback:]
Produce Clerk: Those are very nice cantaloupes.
Blanche: Why, thank you.

Quote from Blanche

[flashback:]
Rose: Excuse me. You made a mistake. That Windex isn't on sale this week. The regular price is $1.99.
Dorothy: Rose, why don't you just save it for The Price is Right?
Rose: Excuse me for trying to be a good American.
Blanche: Will you two please keep your voices down? I have shopped and dated extensively throughout this market.

Quote from Rose

[flashback:]
Blanche: All right, who put the Raisin Bran in the refrigerator?
Dorothy: I did. Do you have a problem with that?
Blanche: Yes, I do. I have two problems with it. First of all, there isn't room for it in there and second of all, it doesn't go in the refrigerator, it goes in the cabinet.
Dorothy: It does not go in the cabinet. It stays fresher in the refrigerator.
Blanche: No, it does not stay fresher in the refrigerator. If it stayed fresher in the refrigerator, there would be a sign on it saying "refrigerate."
Rose: Actually, you're both wrong. It does not belong in a refrigerator. It does not belong in a cabinet. It belongs in a glass canister. That way, it's not only visually appealing, but you can see if they cheated you out of raisins. I thought everybody knew that.

Quote from Blanche

[flashback:]
Dorothy: Oh, girls, girls, do you realize what just happened?
Blanche: Well, I know I've been having a very good time, and there wasn't even a man in the room.

Quote from Dorothy

[flashback:]
Blanche: Wait a minute. What's that?
Rose: Oh, I'm sorry. I know it's awful, but I have this incredible sweet tooth.
Dorothy: What is it?
Rose: Cheesecake.
Blanche: What kind?
Rose: Chocolate.
Dorothy: Oh, I think this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: I guess some things never change.
Rose: They sure don't. We've almost finished the entire cheesecake.
Blanche: Oh, what the hell. It was a special occasion.
Dorothy: Yeah, and it sure took my mind off of Psycho.
Rose: Listen, these can wait till morning. Let's go to bed.
[Sophia runs into the kitchen holding a knife like in Pyscho]
Dorothy: Ma, that is not funny!
Sophia: Are you kidding? It's a riot! I pulled it once on old man Peterson, after we had saw Psycho at the home. They had said he would never walk again. He walked. Well, good night. Sweet dreams!


 Episode 124 Episode 201 
  Select another episode