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‘Rites of Spring’ Quotes Page 1 of 5

The Golden Girls: Rites of Spring

423. Rites of Spring

Aired April 29, 1989

When the girls want to lose weight ahead of an upcoming beach party, they reminisce about times they've tried to improve their image before.

Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: Dorothy, do you realize it's only two weeks till Phyllis's Memorial Day beach party? That means there's only two weeks till we have to get back into bathing suits again. Well, I just slipped into last year's bikini and I think I look pretty good, but you give me your honest advice. Can I still pull it off?
Dorothy: Right now I'd be surprised if you could cut if off.

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Quote from Dorothy

Sophia: This cake is guaranteed to make me gain back that pound.
Dorothy: Ma, all this eating you're doing is ridiculous. Now, I am sure you are already back up to 99lbs.
Sophia: We'll see. Wrong again, Kreskin. Still 98.
Blanche: 98 pounds. I can't remember the last time I weighed 98. Probably college.
Dorothy: Where'd you go to college, Blanche? The University of Jupiter?

Quote from Dorothy

[flashback:]
Yvonne: And stretch. Legs wider.
Dorothy: Oh, ow. That hurts.
Blanche: I'm not having any trouble.
Dorothy: Why is it that doesn't surprise me?

Quote from Sophia

[flashback:]
Dorothy: Gee, Ma, I don't know if this was such a good idea.
Rose: I think you're right, Dorothy. I think I should've done my own hair. I've been doing it for years.
Sophia: That's why it looks like something you buy on a stick at halftime.
Blanche: Sophia, we're just a little bit nervous. This is a very important event. We want to look perfect.
Sophia: Please! The man works with scissors, not a sandblaster.

Quote from Rose

[flashback:]
Rose: What about me? Could I be a goddess too?
Eduardo: No, no. You are an earth mother. Sweet, compassionate, but bubbling with sensuality just below the surface.
Rose: Oh, that's a relief. All this time I thought it was gas.

Quote from Sophia

[flashback:]
Eduardo: Ladies, it's time. Time for the unveiling of another Eduardo masterpiece. Sit back, feast your eyes, and meet the woman you always dreamt you could be.
[The girls all have their hair like Sophia's. Later:]
Sophia: Eduardo, you've done it again. And again. And again.

Quote from Blanche

[flashback:]
Rose: This seems like a nice club.
Blanche: But it's for women only. What's wrong with the nice coed gym we just saw?
Dorothy: Come on now, Blanche, that was nothing but a pickup scene. People running around in skimpy outfits, collecting phone numbers.
Blanche: That's not true. I was not in a skimpy outfit and I got all these.

Quote from Blanche

[flashback:]
Dorothy: Yvonne, we are desperate women. You've got to help us.
Yvonne: I know just what you need. Aerobics. It's what I do.
Blanche: But, Yvonne, you're much younger than they are.
Yvonne: I know you'll love aerobics. It stretches every muscle in your body.
Blanche: Honey, I've been stretching this body for years.
Dorothy: Blanche, sticking your feet out of the sunroof of a Chrysler New Yorker doesn't count.

Quote from Dorothy

[flashback:]
Yvonne: Sweats? Look, ladies, if you're serious about training, you want to get off on the right foot, starting with good workout shoes. Now, these are beautiful, and a bargain at $85. $85?
Dorothy: That's a bit exorbitant.
Rose: And expensive too.
Yvonne: Well, we do have cheaper brands, but anyone who's, you know, serious wouldn't even go near them.
Blanche: Then we'll take those.
Yvonne: Fine. You'll also need aerobic suits, warmup outfits, wristbands, headbands, leg warmers.
Dorothy: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Leg warmers?
Yvonne: Well you need something to keep your thighs warm. What are you using now?
Dorothy: Friction. That's why we're here.

Quote from Rose

[flashback:]
Blanche: I thought I heard a man's voi- Oh, it's you, Stan.
Stan: I'm so happy you're all here. I have just had an incredible experience that I wanted to share with my dearest friends.
Rose: So what are you doing here?

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