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‘Like the Beep Beep Beep of the Tom-Tom’ Quotes

The Golden Girls: Like the Beep Beep Beep of the Tom-Tom

517. Like the Beep Beep Beep of the Tom-Tom

Aired February 10, 1990

After Blanche has a pacemaker fitted, she no longer feels comfortable with her body so she chooses to give up sex.

Quote from Rose

Rose: You know what I do when I'm scared?
Sophia: You toss your cookies.
Rose: I mean besides that. I sing.
Dorothy: You what?
Rose: A lullaby my mother used to sing to me when I was a little girl. So, when I'm scared or alone, I sing it and it gives me courage.
Blanche: No song is gonna help me.
Rose: [singing] Over there Over there Send the word, send the word over there That the Yanks are coming-
Dorothy: That is the lullaby that your mother sang to you?
Rose: Well, it was the only song she knew. During World War I she gave out donuts and coffee to the doughboys before they boarded the trains for Europe. It works, truly. She said no one can be scared when they hear that song, except maybe the Kaiser.

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Quote from Blanche

Dr. Stein: How are we feeling, Mrs. Devereaux?
Blanche: A little nervous.
Dr. Stein: You really don't need makeup.
Blanche: Well, I wanna look good just in case.
Dr. Stein: Just in case what?
Blanche: In case something should go wrong. I've been to enough funerals to see how they make up dead people. They look like clowns. You expect to see a dozen of 'em jump out of one coffin.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Well, anyway, all the same I've gotta get busy writin' down my activities, and I'd better call Simon and cancel our date for tonight. You know, I'm really starting to care about him, and I wouldn't want him worrying about my recording his performance. You know how fragile men's egos are. One little thing like screaming out the wrong name, and they go all to pieces.

Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: What'd the doctor say?
Blanche: Oh, bad news.
Dorothy: Oh, what?
Blanche: Oh, he told me he was married.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: It was like I was my own conscience. That's when I knew things were different.
Dorothy: Different how?
Blanche: I was in that gray area between life and death. The time has come for me to re-evaluate my life, for me to take stock of myself. I just know that there's a part of me that nobody's ever seen.
Sophia: I find that hard to believe.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Hi, Ma. What you doing?
Sophia: Thinking.
Dorothy: About what?
Sophia: About wind, water, rocks. Man's place in the delicate balance of nature's harmony. Where we're going. Where the road ends.
Dorothy: Gee, Ma, I never knew you were so philosophical.
Sophia: I'm not. It's those damn Infiniti commercials. They're driving me crazy.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: How'd your physical go?
Blanche: Oh, just fine. The doctor could not believe it when I told him my age.
Dorothy: Why? What age did you tell him?

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Blanche, what is that thing?
Sophia: She's decided to install a change machine.
Blanche: Oh, it's, um, it's called a Holter monitor. It makes a kind of ticker tape of your heart.
Sophia: What's wrong with your heart?
Blanche: Oh, nothing. Dr. Stein just thought it sounded a little irregular. I think it's 'cause I was so uncomfortable sittin' there topless with a strange man.
Dorothy: Next time, just pretend you're at home and he's the bug guy.

Quote from Blanche

Dr. Stein: Well, nothing will go wrong. I've done this a hundred times. You'll be fine in a week. All we do is cut a small incision below the collarbone, make a little pocket for the pacemaker under the muscle, then feed a tiny wire through the vein and into the heart. Then the pacemaker gives little electric shocks to the valve which regulates the heartbeat.
Blanche: You mean you're gonna cut into me?
Dr. Stein: You did know that.
Blanche: Won't that leave a scar?
Dr. Stein: Two inches, tops.
Blanche: Oh, I'm sorry, but I can't have any scars. See, my clothes are all off-the-shoulder. Sooner or later.

Quote from Sophia

Dr. Stein: She just realized there's going to be a scar. It's really just last-minute stage fright. All my patients have it. [exits]
Dorothy: Oh, honey, I'm sure it'll be nothing. You'll hardly notice it.
Blanche: That madman wants to rip me open from stem to stern.
Sophia: Your two favorite parts.

Quote from Rose

Orderly: Are we ready?
Blanche: I reckon so. How do I look?
Dorothy: They won't be able to take their eyes off you.
Rose: [singing] Over there
All: Over there Send the word, send the word over there That the Yanks are coming, the Yanks are coming The drums rum-tumming everywhere [a patient salutes the girls] Say a prayer, say a prayer Send the word, send the word to beware

Quote from Sophia

Rose: Sophia, it's been wonderful watching you take care of Blanche all week.
Sophia: I feel like a regular hospital worker.
Rose: Ah, that's nice.
Sophia: Yeah. I just took all the money and jewelry out of her nightstand.
Blanche: Where's my money, old woman?
Sophia: I knew that would get her up. I was born to heal. Here's your money, and your high school ring, class of...
Blanche: Give me that.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Rose, what's that supposed to be?
Rose: A flab stimulator. You hook these things to your muscles. They give out an electric charge and help get rid of unwanted fat deposits.
Sophia: Does it come in a hat?

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: You know, Blanche has been without a date for weeks. I know that because all the pictures on my wall are straight.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Hey, it's never easy to go without. I remember when my mother-in-law came to stay with Sal and me when we were first married. For two months, Dorothy, your father and I didn't have sex.
Dorothy: Why not, Ma?
Sophia: She slept in between us. It was a very small place. Have you ever seen an Italian after he's gone without?
Dorothy: Hm, no.
Sophia: That's because your father was the only one.
Rose: Well, she finally left, didn't she, Sophia?
Sophia: Yeah. I'll never forget that day. Your father stayed home from work. Unfortunately, I couldn't get the day off. I don't know what he did, but he was happy when I got home.

Quote from Rose

Rose: Since Charlie was a traveling salesman, sometimes I'd be alone for weeks. I used to have so much trouble sleeping, I tried counting sheep.
Dorothy: Rose, if there are real sheep in this story, I do not wanna hear it.
Rose: OK.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: I would've expected my three best friends to understand that I'm just not ready yet.
Rose: But, Blanche, the doctor said you could do everything you did before.
Blanche: That's all very well for him to say. The doctor's not me.
Dorothy: Blanche, what are you saying?
Blanche: I've made a decision. Blanche Devereaux has given up sex. [exits]
Sophia: And what does that do to the morale of our boys overseas?

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: I'm glad you found a hobby, but, uh, I don't think Blanche Devereaux is going to be happy making things out of Popsicle sticks instead of making love.
Blanche: Oh, I don't care about that anymore. I don't care about anything anymore. Life has no meaning.
Sophia: So, who's for popcorn?
Blanche: I don't know what to expect of myself with this thing in me. I just keep remembering how you're not supposed to overload electrical outlets.
Rose: Maybe you just shouldn't make love when you're wet.
Blanche: It was not an easy decision, but it's best that I retire from the sexual arena undefeated. Time I hung up my gloves.
Rose: Gloves? Boy, you do practice safe sex.

Quote from Blanche

Simon: Are you all right?
Blanche: I think so. I don't feel any sparks.
Simon: Well, in this instance I'll take that as a compliment.
Blanche: I am a little hot, but it's nothing I can't handle.
Simon: What did you expect to happen?
Blanche: I don't know. I just kept seeing those cartoon characters with the smoke coming out of their ears.


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