Lucas: I've been thinking about your suggestion, Dorothy. You're absolutely right. The columns must come down. The new Hollingsworth Manor should be red brick. Cape Cod.
Blanche: [exclaiming]
Lucas: Blanche, I didn't know you were home. Haven't seen too much of you this trip, sugar plum.
Blanche: That's because you've been too busy Yankee Doodlin'.
Dorothy: Blanche, I'm sure you don't mean that. You'll feel differently when you come to the hoe-down we're throwing on the anniversary of Lee's surrender.

Blanche: What do you mean you had 56 boyfriends? You told me you were a virgin till you got married.
Rose: Hey, you can have a boyfriend without having to go all the way.
Blanche: You cannot! If that were true, Rose, that would mean you were a slut.
Dorothy: Oh, come on, Blanche, how can you say that? So the woman had 56 boyfriends in one year. She's not a slut.
Rose: Thank you, Dorothy.
Dorothy: She is the slut. She's the Grand Pooh-Bah of Slutdom. She's the easiest woman in this room.
Blanche: Dorothy Zbornak, you take that back.
Dorothy: The slut is dead. Long live the slut.

Sophia: I think I got one.
Alvin: Where?
Sophia: Past the lifeguard stand.
Alvin: Bald guy about 20 yards out?
Sophia: Yeah. Yeah, watch his face. Huh? Am I right?
Alvin: You got one, no doubt about it. That gentleman just peed in the ocean.
Sophia: How many is that today? Three? Four?
Alvin: I'm not sure. I lost track.

Rose: I remember the best sex of my whole life.
Dorothy: Was it difficult to get out of the relationship afterwards?
Rose: No, not really. Poor Charlie died in the middle of it.
Blanche: Was that really the best sex you ever had with him?
Rose: Yeah. Oh, there was something wild about him that night. Although I did think it was strange when he started yelling, "Rose, I'm going! I'm going!"
Dorothy: Talk about your mixed emotions.

Dorothy: You know what the joke going around the teachers' lounge was today, Ma? Me.
Sophia: I know that joke.
Dorothy: Everybody heard on the radio that some anonymous "Ma" was complaining that her dependent daughter Dorothy doesn't have a life of her own.
Sophia: What, you think you're the only gray-haired spinster substitute teacher named Dorothy wasting her life away in Miami?
Rose: I'm sorry, Sophia, but in Dorothy's defense, that sure does sound a lot like her.

Sophia: I got it, nobody told me. I didn't get it, nobody told me. I figured, "This is life," and went back to my meatballs.

Blanche: I thought I was gonna die. I swear, I have never felt such agony. I saw my entire life flash before my eyes, and I thought, "What a shame if I die now. I'm too young." And I'm wearing the wrong underwear.