TV Quotes

Dorothy: Look, I'm not proud of what I did, but it didn't seem so bad at the time. He was trapped in a bad marriage.
Sophia: There's no such thing as being trapped in a marriage. In this country you can get divorced. In Sicily there was no divorce. If you wanted to end a marriage, you had to resort to the lupara.
Rose: Is that some kind of legal loophole?
Sophia: It's some kind of sawed-off shotgun.

Dorothy: Open the door, Stanley.
Stan: Dorothy, you're in your nightgown.
Dorothy: I came on an impulse. I couldn't help myself.
Stan: Well, it's really a nice gesture, babe, but I'm afraid I'll have to take a rain check.
Dorothy: Stanley, you truly are one chromosome away from being a potato.

Rose: Blanche, you have to go in there and talk to him.
Blanche: I will, I will. It's just that I'm not very good at it. I was blessed with one talent, turning men on. I've just never known how to turn them off. You tell him, Dorothy.
Dorothy: I would, Blanche, but remember, we just want to turn him off, not drain the sex drive completely out of him!

Rose: Girls! Girls, guess what.
Sophia: Wait a minute. Wait a minute! Why do you always come into a room and say, "Girls, girls"? Do you see Molly Ringwald sitting here?
Rose: You're awfully cranky today.
Sophia: Well, forgive me. My arthritis is bothering me, my social security check was late, and I realized today I haven't showered with a man in 22 years.
Dorothy: Ma, Pop's been dead 27 years.
Sophia: What's your point?

Guy Corbin: Our second contestant is an artist with an incredible body. She runs her own museum, speaks Chinese and hopes to sail around the world before she turns 40. Wow, that must be a typo. Welcome, Blanche Devereaux!

Max: You're little Dorothy Petrillo.
Dorothy: That's right.
Max: You haven't changed a bit. Same gorgeous smile. Pretty eyes, beautiful figure, long golden blonde hair.
Dorothy: You have cataracts, don't you, Mr. Weinstock?
Max: Since 1967.

Rose: Oh, Dorothy, how would you feel about a birthday present of a picture of me in sexy lingerie?
Dorothy: I'd rather have the cash.
Rose: Actually, it's not for you. It's for Miles.
Dorothy: He'd rather have the cash.