Parks and Recreation Quotes
- Episodes
- Season 1
- Season 2
- Season 3
- Season 4
- Season 5
- Season 6
- Season 7
- 701 2017
- 702 Ron and Jammy
- 703 William Henry Harrison
- 704 Leslie and Ron
- 705 Gryzzlbox
- 706 Save JJ's
- 707 Donna and Joe
- 708 Ms. Ludgate-Dwyer Goes to Washington
- 709 Pie-Mary
- 710 The Johnny Karate Super Awesome Musical Explosion Show
- 711 Two Funerals
- 712 One Last Ride (Part 1)
- 713 One Last Ride (Part 2)
- 714 A Parks and Recreation Special
Parks and Recreation
Parks and Recreation centers on Leslie Knope, a mid-level bureaucrat in the parks department of the fictional town of Pawnee, Indiana, who is determined to use her position to improve the lives of the town's residents.
Starring:
Amy Poehler, Rashida Jones, Aziz Ansari, Nick Offerman, Aubrey Plaza, Chris Pratt, Adam Scott, Rob Lowe, Jim O'Heir, Retta.
Recurring Actors:
Paul Schneider, Billy Eichner, Jay Jackson, Mo Collins, Ben Schwartz, Megan Mullally, Jon Glaser.
Original Run: 2009-2015.
Quote of the Day
Quote from Ron Swanson in Prom
Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] I attended prom with Susan Hofler. Picked her up in my truck, we slow-danced to a Merle Haggard song, and then I left early to go to my shift at the quarry. I was 12 years old. Never went again. Felt like I had outgrown it.
Popular Quotes
Quote from Ron Swanson in Gin It Up!
Ron Swanson: That's your will? You need that many pages to say, "Give my stuff to my wife"?
Ben: It's a complicated legal document.
Ron Swanson: It doesn't have to be. I've had the same will since I was eight years old.
Ben: "Upon my death, all of my belongings shall transfer to the man or animal who has killed me." What are these weird symbols?
Ron Swanson: The man who kills me will know.
Quote from Ron Swanson in Ms. Knope Goes to Washington
Ranger Patrick: Hey, Ron. You're not going to slaughter that pig here, are you?
Ron Swanson: Not to worry. I have a permit.
Ranger Patrick: This just says, "I can do what I want."
Ron Swanson: I am the director of the Parks Department, and this is a park.
Ranger Patrick: It's not a Parks thing. It's against, like, three laws and a dozen health codes.
Ron Swanson: Fine. Barbecue is postponed until I can go pick up some meat from the Food 'n' Stuff. Let's go, Tom. No, pig Tom. [Donna laughs]
Quote from Ron Swanson in Partridge
Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] Tom and April were excellent witnesses in my defense. Unfortunately, every single word out of their mouths was a lie. There's only one thing I hate more than lying. Skim milk. Which is water that's lying about being milk.
Quote Collections
Trending Quotes
Quote from Andy in The Debate
April: I can't get through to the cable company. Can you do something?
Ron Swanson: Like what?
April: Anything. Andy's just acting out scenes from his favorite movies.
Andy: [imitates motorcycle engine] So Swayze runs, boom! Tackles the guy off the motorcycle. Dude's like, "You're dead, bro!" Comes at him. Swayze ducks, scissor kick. Sha! The guy has Swayze's head. And he says, "I used to [bleep] guys like you in prison." By the looks of this guy, this is not consensual sex we're talking about. We see bad guy had a gun the whole time. He's like, "I'ma kill you the old-fashioned way." Swayze's like, "Not this time." That's subtext. He doesn't say that. Bypasses the gun, hooks the arm. Back to the secret move he used before to kill somebody, he feels so bad about it. But this time he has to do it because it's self-defense. K-k-k-kah! Takes the esophagus out of the neck area. You can't eat. You'll starve to death. And that is Road House.
Quote from Ben in The Treaty
Leslie Knope: I am shocked an appalled by the actions of the honorable delegate from Peru.
Ben: Leslie, just... look... I thought I could handle being friends with you. But I can't, okay? Now, we agreed the other night that we can't spend time together. I think that was the right call.
Leslie Knope: But that was in a romantic way. We can still spend time together as friends.
Ben: It doesn't work that way. You can't just chop up the aspects of a relationship into discrete parts and select the ones you want like a buffet.
Leslie Knope: Why not?
Ben: Because it's selfish. Stop being obtuse.
Quote from Leslie Knope in Born & Raised
Man: Support for Pawnee Community Radio comes from the Wendell G. and Muriel Fathwright Korbleman Foundation, and Sweetums Cares, a nonprofit group that puts umbrella hats on homeless people when it rains.
Derry Murbles: Welcome to Thoughts for your thoughts. I'm Derry Murbles filling in for David Parker, who took off for eight months to study the migration patterns of our nation's squirrels. We have not seen him since. My guest today is author Leslie Knope. The book, Pawnee: The greatest town in America.
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: I wrote a book. The first historical guide to Pawnee. I wrote it as a reference for myself, but then, my campaign advisor said we should make it a big, wide release. So we had people contribute, we added pictures, and we removed a lot of my poems and emotional ramblings and pictures of unicorns, and here it is!
Derry Murbles: Leslie, could one say that a book is nothing more than a painting of words, which are the notes on the tapestry of the greatest film ever sculpted?
Leslie Knope: One could say that. But should one?
Derry Murbles: Join us next week when David Bianculli will be filling in for Richard Chang-Jefferson, who will be filling in for me. Leslie, would you like to take us out?
Leslie Knope: Okay. "Please enjoy a song from the lesbian Afro-Norwegian Funk duo, Nefertiti's Fjord."
[eccentric pop music plays]
Leslie Knope: Oh, wow. They are terrible.
Derry Murbles: Oh, yes. Th-they're quite awful. But they are lesbians, so...