[Pawnee, 2022:]
Trevor Nelsson: Despite the recent financial crisis, Very Good Building Company will finish fiscal year 2022 in excellent financial shape, thanks in large part to the stewardship of your chairman, Ron Swanson. Mr. Chairman, would you like to say a few words?
Ron Swanson: I resign as chairman, effective immediately.
Trevor Nelsson: Uh, would you like to explain why?
Ron Swanson: No.
Lon Swanson: Should we discuss your retirement package?
Ron Swanson: Just give me whatever the board thinks is fair.
Lon Swanson: Agreed.
Vaughn Swanson: Best of luck.
Ron Swanson: Don't get emotional, Vaughn. You're embarrassing yourself.
Trevor Nelsson: What just happened?

[Pawnee National Park, 2022:]
Leslie Knope: Let's go meet your staff. Pawnee National Park rangers, this is Ron Swanson, your new superintendent and boss.
Ron Swanson: Rangers, my name is Ronald Ulysses Swanson. Your job and mine is to walk this land and make sure no one harms it. If you show up on time, speak honestly, and treat everyone with fairness, we will get along just fine. Though hopefully not too fine, as I'm not looking for any new friends. End of speech.
Leslie Knope: Well said.
Ron Swanson: Thank you, Leslie.
Leslie Knope: You're welcome, Ron.
Ron Swanson: Okay. Time to go to work.

[Washington, D.C. 2022:]
Leslie Knope: Ron, your family is beautiful.
Ron Swanson: They're a handsome bunch. Diane and I are especially proud because Ivy was just accepted at Stanford University.
Leslie Knope: Wow.
Ben: Yeah, it's gonna cost an arm and a leg. You take my advice?
Ron Swanson: I did. Thank you, again. I sold some of my gold and officially diversified my portfolio.
[flashback:]
Scottish Man: Congratulations. You now own 51% of the Lagavulin Distillery.
Ron Swanson: Pleasure doing business with you.
Scottish Man: And with you.
All: Sláinte.

[Washington, D.C. 2025:]
Ben: This is a nice house.
Leslie Knope: You say that every time we're here.
Ben: I'm just trying to distract you, so you don't have a nervous breakdown.
Leslie Knope: I think I am past that point. You don't have to worry about me anymore.
Joe Biden: Hey, folks, welcome back. Great to have so many good friends and colleagues. We're looking forward to a great conversation and a good dinner.
Jill Biden: As usual, there's only one rule: No shop talk. So if you want to discuss politics, you're gonna have to wait until after dinner. I'm looking at you, Leslie.
Leslie Knope: Okay, well, as long as we get to play charades later.
Joe Biden: [chuckles] Okay. Last time we played charades, she spent 3 1/2 hours here.
Jill Biden: You're just mad 'cause you lost.
Joe Biden: Oh, come on.

[Washington, D.C. 2025:]
Jennifer Barkley: Need the congressman. This is time-sensitive.
Ben: Hey, Jen, I didn't know you were here.
Jennifer Barkley: I'm everywhere. You want to be governor of Indiana?
Ben: What?
Jennifer Barkley: Colquitt's not gonna run again. It's a rumor for now, but my gut says it's for real. You're the perfect candidate. Local hero, state government experience, blah-blah-blah- blah-blah-blah-blah. I mean, the only potential problem is that devastatingly nerdy "Cones of Dunshire" thing.
Ben: Uh, that's a problem? I'm sorry, but it's the ninth-highest selling multiplayer figurine-based strategy fantasy sequel game in history. Please don't bail on me because of what just happened.

[Washington, D.C. 2022:]
Ron Swanson: I suppose I had simply accomplished everything I wanted to, and there seemed to be little point in continuing.
Leslie Knope: So what do you want to do now?
Ron Swanson: Well, that's the problem. I'm not sure. My kids are growing up. My days in an office feel like a waste. I would like to turn my attention to something... that would make me feel useful, but for the life of me, I cannot figure out what. And there are not many people- I mean, we were workplace proximity acquaintances for many years, and so I thought... I thought maybe...
Leslie Knope: Say no more, you big softie. I'm gonna spend every waking moment trying to figure this out for you. You want to stay for dinner? We're having steak.
Ron Swanson: Mm?
Leslie Knope: But we're also hosting several members of the House Subcommittee on Foreign Affairs.
Ron Swanson: I'll take that steak to go, please and thank you.

[Pawnee, 2025:]
April: Hey, Oliver. Hey, Leslie. Hello, Ann.
Ann: Hi, April.
April: Your kids are, like, surprisingly awesome.
Ann: Thank you.
April: Did you use an egg donor or give Chris a hall pass for a night?
Ann: Once again, they are my biological children.
April: Once again, I don't believe you.

[Pawnee National Park, 2022:]
Leslie Knope: Hey, there you are. Thanks for meeting me here.
Ron Swanson: Well, if you'd have held them here instead of that conference room, I would have come to more meetings. I got to tell you, Leslie, establishing this national park right next to Pawnee is quite an accomplishment. This is a fine piece of land you saved.
Leslie Knope: Thank you, Ron. You want to run it? The superintendent of Bryce Canyon retired, and I convinced the superintendent of this park to transfer, shuffled a few things around. The point is someone needs to take care of this place now. Thought it should be you.
Ron Swanson: I... Well, first of all, I would be working for the federal government.
Leslie Knope: Your job would be to walk around the land alone, you'd live in the same town you've always lived in, you'd work outside, you'd talk to bears. Next argument?
Ron Swanson: There must be dozens of people gunning for this job. I wouldn't want you to ruffle any feathers. Am I even qualified?
Leslie Knope: Well, a few people might be annoyed, but they'll get over it. And as far as your qualifications, you're Ron Swanson. Stop being a dummy and accept.
Ron Swanson: When do I start?
Leslie Knope: Oh, today. I already accepted for you. I still remember how to forge your signature.

[Pawnee, 2025:]
Leslie Knope: You know, now that I'm here, it's giving me an idea about this governor thing. Maybe we need fresh eyes, you know, other people to weigh in. We should talk to Ron or Tom or April or Donna or Andy even. Sometimes he can be wise.
Ben: Oh, good idea. Let's call them. Or you know what else we could do? Just talk to them in person.
All: Surprise!
Leslie Knope: Oh, wow.
Ben: It's what you wanted, right, everyone in the same room at same time?
Leslie Knope: I can't believe you. We're all here together in the same room... in this room. I don't think I could be happier right now.
Ben: Want to bet?
Ann: Hi.
Leslie Knope: Oh, Ann's here! Ann. Ann's here!

[Pawnee, 2025:]
Leslie Knope: Your hair looks amazing, by the way. You look like a cartoon princess.
Ann: Oh, thank you! That's from the pills I was telling you about.
Leslie Knope: I took some of those, but I don't know, they didn't do anything, and they kind of upset my stomach.
Ann: No, no, no. You're supposed to crack them and leave them on your hair overnight, not eat them.
Leslie Knope: Oh, no. Well, it's confusing 'cause they're delicious.