‘One Last Ride (Part 1)’
Season 7, Episode 12 - Aired February 24, 2015
On their last day together in Pawnee, Leslie gets the old gang back together for one final task: fixing a park swing.
Quote from Andy
Andy: I'm gonna miss the food in Pawnee. Taco Bell, KFC, Pizza Hut, and most of all, I'm gonna miss you, Leslie.
Leslie Knope: Aw, Andy, all of those things, including me, will still be with you in Washington.
Andy: That is a beautiful sentiment.
Quote from April
[Halloween, 2023:]
Dr. Saperstein: All right, Ms. Ludgate, we're getting close.
Andy: Babe, you look more beautiful right now than I have ever seen you.
Dr. Saperstein: Wow. Just your luck that you're going into labor on Halloween. Can I get a warm towel to get that makeup off?
April: No! I want it on! That's the whole point. I put the makeup on after I went into labor.
Dr. Saperstein: Whatever blows your skirt up. Okay, you ready to push?
April: Wait, no. Babe, my birth mix.
[Monster Mash plays]
Dr. Saperstein: Here comes a contraction. Are you ready?
April: Okay, I'm ready. Let's do this.
Quote from Ben
[Pawnee, 2019:]
Ben: Well, there are always gonna be risks when you open new restaurants, but you've done your homework. All the numbers line up. Side note: I would again strongly recommend adding calzones to the menu.
Tom: Ugh. The worst.
Quote from April
Leslie Knope: Ethel Beavers, we need this filed, please.
Ethel Beavers: We've gone digital. Get with the times, you Luddite.
April: Man, of all the places in Pawnee, I'm gonna miss the fourth floor the most. The disturbing murals, the ominous lighting... the creepy people.
Kyle: Hi, April.
Quote from Craig
Craig: What is this mess? Why are you all in my office?
Leslie Knope: We are on one last mission to help the people of Pawnee.
Ben: Craig, can you sign the requisition form? It'd speed things up.
Leslie Knope: You know, Craig, when I first met you, I thought, "There's a man who loves his job." And then I thought, "Oh, wow, he's intense." And then I thought, "Oh, no, he's insane. That person is psychotic, and I need to call the police."
Craig: Yeah, that's usually the way it goes.
Quote from April
[Washington, D.C. 2022:]
April: My love, we have to go. Just put all the candy in a bowl or something. What's wrong? Did you eat all the candy?
Andy: No.
April: Did you?
Andy: Yes. But that's not what's wrong. It's just, seeing all those kids out there... Babe... I want to put a babe in you, babe.
April: Andy, you know where I stand on this. Yes, I would love all the awesome stuff my body would go through. I mean, if all it meant was puking and getting weird stretch marks and veins everywhere, then sign me up. But at the end, we've brought a child into the world. That's disgusting.
Andy: No. They wipe all of the disgusting stuff off of it immediately.
Quote from Leslie Knope
[Washington, D.C. 2022:]
Leslie Knope: Hey, always nice to see Janet Snakehole and Burt Macklin in the mix.
April: What are you guys dressed as?
Leslie Knope: Oh, I'm Sandra Dee O'Connor. Get it? Sandra Dee plus Sandra Day O'Connor?
April: Who's Sandra Dee?
Andy: Who's Sandra Day O'Connor?
Leslie Knope: Forget it.
Quote from Andy
[Washington, D.C. 2022:]
Andy: Hey, where are the kids at? I want to say hi and wrestle all three of them at once.
Ben: Oh, they're trick-or-treating in Georgetown with some friends. It's just us grown-ups tonight, no kids at all. [Andy slumps back in his chair] Hey, Andy, why don't you give me a hand in the kitchen?
Andy: So what do you need a hand with?
Ben: Oh, no, I just thought you might want to talk.
Andy: Whoa. Dude, that's really slick. Oh, man, that's some secret agent stuff right there.
Ben: So April's still on the fence about kids, huh?
Andy: Yeah, and I'm freaking out, man. I want kids so bad. You know, yesterday I was at the park, and I saw this group of eight-year-olds laughing, playing, having a good time. I almost started crying. Granted, I'd just face-planted on my rollerblades. That's what they were laughing at.
Quote from April
[Washington, D.C. 2022:]
April: All right, go ahead.
Leslie Knope: What?
April: You're gonna lecture me about how Andy and I should have kids. You're gonna be like, "They're so great. They change your life, and yes, they drive you nuts, but it's all worth it for the beauty and the majesty and the glory of their little faces in the morning. Blah, blah, blah, and barf." You know why it's so unfair? Because you guys got so lucky. You had sex one time, and you had three kids, and they're all, like, smart and great and healthy, and now your lives are perfect. But our life is pretty perfect already. And you know what, kids act the opposite of their parents. That's why your kids are so cool. But Andy and I are cool already, so our kids will be, like, really lame and weird. I'm sorry. I just don't know what to do. Please tell me what to do. What do I do?
Leslie Knope: It's not about trying to make your life perfect. Nobody's lives are perfect. You have kids because you and Andy are a team and you want to bring in some new team members.
April: So you think we should?
Leslie Knope: I don't know if you should have kids. I really don't. But I do like your team.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: Which brings us to 2005... The Circle Park renovation was complete, and a young man named Thomas Haverford was still two years away from getting hired.
Ron Swanson: Perhaps we could skip ahead and just hit the highlights?
Leslie Knope: I mean, I planned a comprehensive retrospective, but I guess I can just focus on the really important moments. Ah! The debate about getting a pod-based coffee machine. Garry and I wrote a little musical number about that, and it goes a little something like thi--
April: Can't we just quickly shake hands, pretend we like each other, and get out of here?
Ron Swanson: I'm all for that.
Leslie Knope: No, April, Ron, we need to celebrate everything that we've done together as a group. This is our last day here! Who knows when we'll all be together like this again?