Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] I'm impressed with Andy. Pulling himself up by his bootstraps. He reminds me of me. I got my first job when I was nine. Worked at a sheet metal factory. In two weeks, I was running the floor. Child labor laws are ruining this country.

Donna: So, it's the Last Supper, but with famous people from Indiana. Mmm-hmm. John Mellencamp, Larry Bird, Michael Jackson, uh, David Letterman, Vivica A. Fox. Okay, so, here's where it gets a little dicey. Because there's not that many celebrities from Indiana. So, a NASCAR. Uh, my friend, Becky. Ron Swanson.
Leslie Knope: Donna? Who's the Jesus?
Donna: That would be Greg Kinnear.

Paul: Okay. As everybody knows, The Spirit of Pawnee was defaced again last night.
Leslie Knope: What was it this time?
Paul: Chocolate pudding.
Leslie Knope: Huh. That's new.
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: The mural that normally resides here is called The Spirit of Pawnee. And it's very controversial. We've had someone throw acid at it, tomato sauce. Someone tried to stab it once. We really need better security here. We also need better, less-offensive history.

Leslie Knope: He likes the shapes, okay? And he's part of the team. So, here. Take these scissors and cut out your favorite shapes. And then we'll put them on a new team mural. We're going to make a new design that takes the best parts of all of our designs.
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: It's like if you got Michelangelo and Andy Warhol and Jackson Pollock and Jim Davis from Garfield to do one painting. Imagine how good that painting would be.

Leslie Knope: Okay. Next? Wow. Really good, Jerry.
Jerry: For my murinal, I was inspired by the death of my grandma.
Tom: [laughs] You said "murinal."
Jerry: No, I didn't.
Ann: Yes, you did. You said "murinal". I heard it.
Jerry: Anyway, she...
April: Jerry. Why don't you put that murinal in the men's room so people can murinate all over it?
Tom: Jerry. Go to the doctor. You might have a murinary tract infection.
Jerry: I just wanted to show you my art.
All: [chanting] Murinal! Murinal! Murinal!
Leslie Knope: Disqualified!
[aside to camera:]
Jerry: It's pointillism. And each dot is a photo of a citizen of the town.
Tom: No one cares. At all.

April: Okay. So, this is a multimedia project. First, a bunch of rats made out of garbage. And this is a TV screen. It'll be like a big, flat-screen TV, and it will play looped video of knee surgeries. And then this is a human-sized hamster wheel that will be next to the mural if we can get one. And it will be spinning and there will be, like, a fat guy in it all the time, like, screaming and, like, eating raw beef and, like, bleeding. And, like, blood will, like, come out of his mouth and stuff. And that'll be, like, right next to the mural.
Leslie Knope: I have one question. Why?
April: If you have to ask, you don't get it.

April: [aside to camera] My piece is truly going to capture the spirit of Pawnee. [searches a dumpster]

Leslie Knope: June 8, 1922. The Pawnee Bread Factory burned to the ground. We lost a lot of good bread that day. As well as several human lives. And it also made the whole town smell like toast. Which one resident described as "disturbingly enticing." But I digress. The point is we rebuilt Pawnee to the wonderful town that it is today.
Tom: Why would you want a mural that shows people dying when you could have shapes that come alive?
Leslie Knope: Well, because it's the most famous event in our town's history. And people love voting for tragedy. Look at the Oscars. This is our Holocaust movie. This is our English Patient.
Ann: It sounds like you're exploiting the tragedy.
Leslie Knope: See, Ann gets it. Okay. Time to vote, everybody. Cast your votes. May the best, most tragic project win.

Leslie Knope: We need to whittle these down. Can we all agree on eliminating any of these designs?
April: Ann's blows.
Ann: Wow. Don't hold back.
April: No offense, but it's a giant picture of a park. That's not art.
Ann: Well, at least it's not a fat human hamster eating meat.
April: You don't even work here.
Leslie Knope: Okay, guys, you both have a point. Ann, yours was a little trite. And April, yours was hellish and might make someone vomit.
April: Thank you.

Ann: [aside to camera] I'm a terrible artist. But the Parks Department has done so much for me that if I can help them out in any way, I will. Oh, God. Maybe I should just give them all free flu shots.