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‘Woman of the Year’ Quotes

Parks and Recreation: Woman of the Year

217. Woman of the Year

Aired March 4, 2010

Leslie is angered when Ron is honored with a women's empowerment award for a project she led. Meanwhile, Andy asks his colleagues to invest in a nightclub venture, and April helps Andy find an apartment.

Quote from Leslie Knope

Leslie Knope: Oh, my God. It's an envelope from the IOW Awards Office! Nobody freak out! [silence] Do you know what this means? I am Pawnee's Woman of the Year!
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: The IOW is the Indiana Organization of Women. I have been a dues-paying member since I was nine. And every year, they choose one woman to win the Dorothy Everton Smythe Female Empowerment Award. Winning is every girl's dream. But it's my destiny. And my dream.

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Quote from Tom

Tom: [aside to camera] This VIP card gives you exclusive access to the investment opportunity of a lifetime. Where? Multipurpose Room F. When? 3:00 p.m. Dress code? Black tie optional. Just like life. [flings card]

Quote from Leslie Knope

Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] The IOW is a bunch of sexist jerks who need to get back in the kitchen where they belong, and leave the real feminist work to actual feminists like Ron Swanson! Oh, my God! What is happening?

Quote from Andy

April: You gave Tom all your money?
Andy: Yeah, well, I'm investing. I'm like Warren "Buffay".

Quote from Leslie Knope

Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] Apparently, the girls' team does not have a field assigned to them for practice, but the boys' team does. No. Not on my watch. Every child has the right to play, no matter how boring the sport.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] Awards are stupid, which is why I fully intend to decline this nonsense, and recommend it go to Leslie because she works really hard, and I don't. However, she cares way too much about crap like this, which is why I can't pass up this opportunity to tease her about it.

Quote from Tom

Tom: [aside to camera] I want to open up my own club one day. Maybe call it something like Club-a-Dub-Dub or The Clubmarine, sort of a submarine-themed club. Or Tom's Bistro. The word "bistro" is classy as [beep].

Quote from Leslie Knope

Leslie Knope: I just don't get why the IOW would give that award to Ron.
Mark: Yeah, it's a bummer.
Leslie Knope: One, he's not a woman. And two, they mentioned the Camp Athena project in that letter. That's my project. I started that. It was my brainchild. Why would Ron start a camp for troubled girls?
Mark: He wouldn't?
Leslie Knope: Exactly. I deserve that award. That award is mine. Not his. It's mine.
Mark: You know what you should do?
Leslie Knope: I know, I already started a list. "Write an e-mail to Barack Obama." "Lock myself in my office and scream until I lose my voice." That's all I have so far.

Quote from Andy

Andy: The guitarist from my band is driving me crazy. He's such a control freak. "That's not a working fireplace, Andy." "Stop writing phone messages on the wall, Andy." "Dude, seriously, I love you but stop digging that weird hole in the backyard."
April: Is Mouse Rat gonna break up?
Andy: Well, we're not Mouse Rat anymore. We changed it to Tackleshaft. I should just get my own place.
April: You should. I'll help you.
Andy: You can help me?
April: Yeah, that'd be fun.
Andy: April, you're like an angel with no wings.
April: So, like, a person?

Quote from Leslie Knope

Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] If you don't get credit for your work, why bother doing it? Because I love it! But I'm going to make a point!

Quote from Ron Swanson

Leslie Knope: Did you need me? Because some of us actually do work around here. Work that often goes unrewarded.
Ron Swanson: I need your opinion. Which of these objects most represents women for this portrait? A pot? Or this Deputy Director Barbie? Isn't it adorable? She's got a little briefcase, her cell phone. "I'm going to help my boss win an award."

Quote from Ron Swanson

Leslie Knope: How's the scheduling conflict with the soccer teams going? Take care of that, did you?
Ron Swanson: Nope. Passed the buck to Donna.
Leslie Knope: That's not really the attitude I'd expect from an award winner.
Ron Swanson: Everything I do is the attitude of an award winner because I've won an award.

Quote from April

April: So, what kind of place are you looking for?
Andy: I can afford, like, 300 bucks a month. I've always wanted a doorman named Ernie. That would be awesome. Or Kipp. I'm pretty flexible on that.
April: Here's a great one. It's a Tudor mansion. It's got seven rooms, four bathrooms. It's got a tennis court, a pool and a three-car garage.
Andy: What?
April: And it's only $20,000 a month. And it's in Chicago.
Andy: Ah, that close! It was almost perfect.

Quote from Tom

Tom: Thank you all so much for joining me today. I have two questions for you. One, are you ready for the investment opportunity of a lifetime? And two, do any of you have pacemakers or a history of epilepsy?
Jerry: Yes, both.
Tom: Anybody? No?
Jerry: Both.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Leslie Knope: Twenty-six certificates, plaques, ribbons, trophies, medals and miscellany certifying that I am the kind of person who deserves recognition for her achievements. What do you have, Ron?
Ron Swanson: I have the Dorothy Every Time Smurf Girl Trophy for excellence in female stuff.
Leslie Knope: Dorothy Everton Smythe. I swear to God, I would...

Quote from Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson: Leslie. Before you continue, please read this.
Leslie Knope: Another organization giving you credit for something you didn't do? "I, Ron Swanson, recognize that Leslie Knope should have received the IOW Award for all the hard work she has done, especially for the Camp Athena project. However, in my opinion, she is far too concerned with institutional gratification." No, I'm not. "So, I am going to let her dangle in order to show her that awards are bull... crap."
Ron Swanson: Come on, Leslie, you know I'm not sexist. I love powerful women.
Leslie Knope: You do attend a shocking number of WNBA games.

Quote from Leslie Knope

Ron Swanson: I'm just saying that awards are political, and everybody has an agenda. If you spend your life chasing them, you'll drive yourself nuts.
Leslie Knope: Yeah, all right. But Dorothy Everton Smythe was a trailblazing feminist. She was the first woman in Pawnee to wear pants on a Sunday. She spent four years in jail for that. I know I'm not supposed to care about these things, but this one means a lot.

Quote from Andy

Andy: [singing] I know you've been changing [talking] The acoustics in the bathroom are insane.
April: So, how much is this one again?
Realtor: This one is $425 a month, plus utilities.
Andy: I like it. It seems to have a lot of potential and a lot of "advantages," per se. I could definitely picture myself doing something over there. [turns gas off] Can you hear that? What is that?
Realtor: It's still on.
Andy: You can light a match to get rid of that smell.

Quote from Donna

Tom: Donna?
Donna: Maybe. I like The Snakehole. Plus, I would look good pulling into my owner's parking space in my Mercedes.
Tom: Just to be clear, you wouldn't be an owner, per se. You, me and my boy, Jean-Ralphio, would each own part of a share. Will that be cash or check?
Donna: Not so fast. I like to know who I'm in business with. I want to meet your boy.

Quote from Leslie Knope

Ron Swanson: Now do you see how silly these things are?
Leslie Knope: Unbelievable.
Ron Swanson: Obviously, I'm just gonna decline it.
Leslie Knope: No, I want you to accept it. I want you to go to the podium and talk about how stupid awards are. And how they are superficial and meaningless. I want you to rip awards a new a-hole!
Ron Swanson: Now we're talking. I tell you what. You write the speech. Don't pull your punches.
Leslie Knope: I won't. I'm gonna push my punches as far as my fists can extend!
Ron Swanson: Attagirl. Kind of.


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