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‘Lucky’ Quotes

Parks and Recreation: Lucky

418. Lucky

Aired March 8, 2012

Leslie and Ben are excited when Indianapolis journalist Buddy Wood (guest star Sean Hayes) decides to profile Leslie on his show. Meanwhile, Andy prepares for his final Women's Studies exam, and Tom and Chris both show an interest in his professor.

Quote from Leslie Knope

Leslie Knope: Mmm. This was such a good idea. Should we get another round?
Ann: Um... I think we should get a more basic, no-nonsense beverage.
Tom: [laughs] Uh... maybe we should all just drink sensible portions of milk.
Leslie Knope: I mean, I love him. It's just... This campaign has turned fun, dorky Ben into grumpy, stress-ball Ben. It's like dealing with a strict mother who I am confusingly attracted to. Ben is like a MILF.

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Quote from Jerry

Donna: Jerry. Jerry! Maybe you should wrap it up. It's 4:00 in the morning.
Jerry: Is it really? [laughing] Oh, my gosh. Wow. Well, that flew by, huh? I will just take these down to the post office and, uh, put the, uh... Oh, jeez. Oh, no. I put the handout flyers in the mailing envelopes, and I was supposed to put these flyers in the envelopes.
Donna: Oh... My God.
Jerry: Well, you know, it's like I always say. It ain't government work if you don't have to do it twice. Here we go! [whistles]
Donna: I'll make some coffee.

Quote from Jerry

[As Jerry keeps licking envelopes:]
Jerry: I'm gonna keep plugging away for a bit.
Donna: You don't mind this work, do you?
Jerry: Uh-uh. I like it. It makes sense to me.

Quote from Andy

Andy: Susan Bronwell, or B., Anthony, was born in Adams, Massachusetts, in 1820, and she played a pivotal role in the institution of women's suffrage.
Professor Linda Lonegan: Andy.
Andy: Treat, please.
Professor Linda Lonegan: Andy, slow down. You're taking this class pass/fail. So I'm just looking for a freewheeling discussion about, you know, what you got from the class.
Andy: Oh. Okay. [chuckles] I would say what I find very cool about Susan B. Anthony is... How... She was born in Adams, Massachusetts, in 1820. You know? Just one man's opinion.

Quote from Leslie Knope

Leslie Knope: It's my new interview outfit. Like, "hey, nice to meet you." Can't wait for the interview."
Ben: Um, I--maybe the h-- maybe the hat.
Ann: Yeah.
Leslie Knope: Lose this?
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: To win an election, you have to be good, and you have to be lucky. Buddy Wood hosts the number-one morning show in Indianapolis, and he wants to interview me for a series he's doing on local elections. And last year the five people that he profiled all won. This is a huge break for us.

Quote from Andy

April: Who was Laura Mulvey?
Andy: Laura Mulvey was... A guy...
April: Girl.
Andy: Right. Women's studies. They're all girls. Laura Mulvey was a feminist film critic who wrote a major essay that helped shift the orientation of film theory to the psychoanalytical framework! Treat, please.
[aside to camera:]
Andy: I'm about to take my first-ever final for my women's studies class. Usually, tests scare me, but this is an oral exam. Uh, and if there's one thing I know is... My fantastic-- it's talk.

Quote from Tom

Ann: God, he is more tightly wound than ever.
Tom: Maybe we should see if he can pull that rod out of his butt and we can hang some of those outfits on it. [Ann giggles]
[aside to camera:]
Tom: Ann and I have the occasional rough patch in our relationship. But right now, we're really in a groove. We've gone 30 hours without breaking up. Our personal best is 47 hours. It happened when she was out of town for two days and she forgot we were dating.

Quote from Donna

Donna: Okay, I'm calling it. I have a date with my bathtub, a glass of red wine, and a gigantic fireman named Marcus.

Quote from Leslie Knope

Leslie Knope: [answers phone] Hello. Lady Knope. I mean Leslie Knope.
Ben: Hey.
Leslie Knope: Oh, hey, Ben.
Ben: Where are you?
Leslie Knope: I'm in, uh, the house watching TV right now. I'm watching, um...
Ann: Murder She Wrote.
Leslie Knope: Murder She Wrote. I'm watching Murder She Wrote.

Quote from Tom

Tom: Okay, both the cabs in this town are busy. But I still had eight hours rental time on that hot-tub limousine that I got for your campaign event, and it's on its way.
Ann: That's smart. You're smart.
Both: Diddly diddly diddly diddly swag.
Tom: You did it right!
Ann: I did it right.
Tom: Ah!
Ann: Ha ha!
[aside to camera:]
Tom: 33 hours.

Quote from Ann

Ann: Listen, let's do practice interview...
Leslie Knope: Big idea, Ann.
Ann: And see how you do.
Leslie Knope: Let's go.
Ann: [Russian accent] Leslie, in your humble opinion... [Leslie laughs] What?
Leslie Knope: Why are you from Russia?
Ann: I don't know.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Andy: Hey, Ron is the guy I wrote about for that paper on positive male role models.
Professor Linda Lonegan: Oh, yeah, that was one of your most readable papers. According to Andy, you're quite the feminist.
Ron Swanson: I don't consider myself an anything-ist, but my life has been shaped by powerful women. My father once told my mother that woman was made from the rib of Adam, and my mom broke his jaw. My Uncle Lon once tried to...

Quote from Chris

April: Hey.
Chris: April Ludgate.
April: Why are you here eating alone?
Chris: I'm not. I'm surrounded by friends... Friends I don't know yet. And I'm engrossed in this book. It's the true story of a woman born with no arms and no legs who attempted to swim the English Channel.
April: That's impossible.
Chris: Oh, she drowned immediately. It's kind of a sad story.
April: Cool.

Quote from Donna

[As Jerry continues licking envelopes:]
Donna: [on the phone] I'm sorry, Marcus, I'm gonna have to cancel our bath. Something interesting is happening. I want to watch it. I don't know, Marcus. I'll hit you up when I hit you up.
[Jerry's process breaks down when the envelope box is empty. Donna slides another box in its place and Jerry resumes licking envelopes]

Quote from Ron Swanson

Waitress Kendra: Hi, there. Would you like to hear our specials?
Ron Swanson: No need. Porterhouse, rare, quickly.
Andy: Same.

Quote from Chris

Professor Linda Lonegan: I'll have the, uh, spinach salad. What kind of dressings do you have?
Chris: Oh! Linda, in case you're interested, I brought my own dressing.
Waitress Kendra: You really can't be doing that.
Chris: Well, this is the last time. I promise. It contains extra-virgin olive oil, a little bit of lemon, and hint of turmeric.
Professor Linda Lonegan: Sounds great.

Quote from Leslie Knope

Buddy Wood: Pawnee, Indiana, home to the Sweetums Candy Corporation, 19 toxic-waste repositories, and not much else. This sleepy mini-Metropolis is the site of a fascinating city council race. Joining us today is one of the candidates, Leslie Knope. Leslie, welcome... to Good Morning.
Leslie Knope: It's my pleasure. Thank you for being on my show.
Buddy Wood: Leslie, we're here at the Pawnee municipal airport, which I must add is... rather decrepit.
Leslie Knope: Well, I'm glad you mentioned it. It is in desperate need of refurbishments. And that is why I'm going to make it a centerpiece of my platform.
Buddy Wood: Okay.
Leslie Knope: Take, uh... Joe Appledemas over there. Joe, say hi.
Joe: Hello.
Leslie Knope: Joe has been working here since 1996, and his salary has not been raised a nickel. I am gonna work very hard to change--
Buddy Wood: Okay, this airport seems to me like a metaphor. Are you familiar with the term? Pawnee's airport is symbolic of the town: out of touch, out of date, perhaps, lost, insignificant, and sad. Your thoughts?
Leslie Knope: Well, granted, we don't have big-city amenities, but I think we more than make up for it with friendly faces and hand-working hards-- hardworking hands.
Buddy Wood: If you say so. I say it's sad. Moving on...

Quote from Andy

Andy: Oh, my God. If they got together, they would make the most beautiful super baby. It would rule us all. But what if super baby became too powerful?
April: I guess we'll just have to take that chance.

Quote from Andy

Andy: Thank you for celebrating the most ultimate triumph of my life. I'm very proud of me, and you are too. And, Professor, I'm taking your class again next semester. And I'm gonna lock down that P-plus.
Professor Linda Lonegan: It's impossible.
Andy: You and the women taught me that nothing is impossible.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson: April, Andrew, good morning to you both. Doughnuts, go nuts. [Ron and Andy laugh] Hey, you kids need any money?
April: No.
Ron Swanson: Go buy yourself a Walkman. How much is a Walkman nowadays? Probably more than $20. Here's $25.

Quote from Leslie Knope

Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] They say to win an election, you have to be good, and you have to be lucky. I got pretty damn lucky when I met Ben. And I'm lucky that Ann and Tom and all my other friends volunteer to help me out. And I'm super lucky that that tape disappeared. I think we may have used up all our luck tonight. Actually, not all of it. He's about to get lucky. It's--it's on. He doesn't even know it yet.


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