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Meet n Greet

‘Meet n Greet’

Season 4, Episode 5 -  Aired October 27, 2011

Leslie is upset when Tom uses a networking event for her to meet local business people to promote his entertainment company. Andy and April throw a Halloween party without consulting with Ben. At the party, Ron and Ann do some home improvement work together.

Quote from Tom

Leslie Knope: Well, maybe we should get out of this hot tub.
Tom: I'm too sad to get out. And I'm all pruney.
Leslie Knope: What happened?
Tom: I don't know. I guess I just didn't moisturize enough this morning, and I've been laying around--
Leslie Knope: With the company.
Tom: We're hemorrhaging cash ever since we opened. They say you've got to spend money to make money. Well, I don't know where we went wrong. We spent all of our money.


Quote from Ron Swanson

Andy: Hey, Ron. Good to see you. Weren't you a pirate last year?
Ron Swanson: Yes. This is my Halloween costume. Andrew, are you aware that your bathroom faucet is leaking?
Andy: Are you kidding me? I just stuffed a sock in it yesterday. What else do they want me to do?
Ron Swanson: There's an exposed wire above the bathtub as well.
Andy: Oh, yeah, shockwire! I call it that 'cause if you take a shower and you touch the wire... You die!
Ron Swanson: Yes, that is accurate. Do you have a toolbox?
Andy: Yeah.
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: No home is complete without a proper toolbox. Here's April and Andy's. A hammer. Half of a pretzel. Baseball card. Some cartridge that says "Sonic" and "Hedgehog." A scissor half. And a flashlight... Filled with jellybeans.

Quote from Leslie Knope

Leslie Knope: Although I've not worked with you professionally, as a private citizen, I have personally patronized each and every one of your establishments.
Tania: Mm, I've never seen you buy a salad at Sue's Salads.
Leslie Knope: That's 'cause I don't hate myself, Tanya. I'm sorry. I know I should be chasing your vote, but I stand behind my decision to avoid salad and other disgusting things. And I think I have a lot of support in the community for that.
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: Despite the fact that this seems like a party for Tom's face, uh, I think it's going pretty well. When in doubt, in Pawnee, slam salad.

Quote from Leslie Knope

Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] Look, I don't like to throw around the word "butthead" too often. If you call everybody a butthead, then it kind of loses its impact. But I can say without hesitation that Tom is being a real dick.

Quote from April

April: [aside to camera] I have one sister. We steal each other's stuff, hack each other's Twitter accounts, set each other's clothes on fire. There are no rules.

Quote from Tom

Leslie Knope: Wow, I thought you guys were doing great. I remember trying to hire you once. And you said you were all booked up.
Tom: That was a business tactic. For the first two weeks, we told everyone we were booked solid to make people want us more.
Leslie Knope: Oh, no, that's the stupidest idea I've ever heard.
Tom: Well, hindsight is 20/20.
Leslie Knope: Kind of seems like regular sight should have caught that one. Also, your logo, it's the worst logo I've ever seen. It doesn't make any sense. It's gibberish.

Quote from Ann

Ron Swanson: Listen up! I have to turn off the power for one minute.
Ann: We're gonna go dark, people. Bear with us, okay? We gotta switch off the main fuse hose.
Ron Swanson: It's just a fuse.
Ann: It's just a fuse...People. Just a fuse.

Quote from Ben

Ben: [aside to camera] My family is very non-confrontational. My parents' method of problem-solving is to kind of keep everything bottled up and just subtly hint at what's bothering them. And after 36 years, they are still... divorced.

Quote from Tom

Leslie Knope: Tom, tell Martin how hard I worked on the Harvest Festival.
Tom: It was incredible. A lot of people say the Harvest Festival is what launched Entertainment 7Twenty.
Leslie Knope: No one says that.
Tom: I just said it. My company, Entertainment 7Twenty, has an amazing business opportunity for Kernston's. Mind if I steal you away for a few seconds? Give you the 'tails?
Martin Kernston: The 'tails?
Tom: The details. Most people would probably say "the deets." I say "the 'tails." Just one example of innovation.

Quote from Ann

Ron Swanson: Looks like you've got the handle on that torque wrench.
Ann: Yeah, well, the flange was a little warped. So I just goosed it with a triple three bolt smack.
Ron Swanson: That was nonsense.
Ann: I know, but it's so fun to talk like that.
Ron Swanson: You know what? [hands Ann toolbox] Keep this. You earned it.
Ann: Thanks, Ron.

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