Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] We've come so far. I want this so bad, I can taste it. When I close my eyes, I can picture the flash of the cameras at my swearing in. And I can hear the sound of the applause when I take my oath. And I can see in the crowd president Obama smiling at me. He made it. I didn't think he would come, but he made it. Hey, buddy.

Andy: A few days ago, on a routine campaign stop in downtown Pawnee, one Leslie Knope - pause - was attacked - play - by a pie. Luckily, it only hit Jerry, so no damage was done. Play. The only evidence we have is a video shot by - pause - my wife, April Ludgate. This is Burt Macklin's greatest assignment yet. If you are watching, perpetrator, just know that you are still at large.

Chris: [aside to camera while cycling] This has been a difficult year for me, romantically. Millicent Gergich, Ann Perkins, Andy's professor-- lots of disappointment, but if I keep my body moving and my mind occupied at all times, I will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair.

Leslie Knope: What do we want for our city? I'll tell you what I want. I want better schools, I want cleaner streets, I want to expel the violent gangs of geese in Detweiler Square. And I will finally eliminate this city's libraries! [cheers and applause]

Leslie Knope: I know, you guys, we only have one more day to close the gap, and we're going to do so in a one-time campaign blitz aboard the S.S. Knope. This is going to be our home for the next 24 hours. And if we win, hopefully, it will be the home that Ben and I share forever.
Ben: Uh, what?
Leslie Knope: It's just an idea I had. We don't have to do it. Whatever. We can talk about it.

Andy: Okay, listen up, folks. We have a security situation here. As you know, when we reach the location, I will be conducting a security sweep. Also, from now on, we'll be using code names. You can address me as "Eagle One." Ann, code name: "Been there, done that." April is "currently doing that." Donna is "it happened once in a dream." Chris, code name: "If I had to pick a dude." Ben is "Eagle Two."
Ben: Oh, thank God.

Ben: [aside to camera] In the last few weeks, we've turned this campaign into a well-oiled machine. Leslie's stump speech is 10 minutes and 40 seconds every time. Here, check this out. There will be a big laugh right... now. [laughter in background] And now, a two-second awkward silence after Leslie does her Rodney Dangerfield impression.
Leslie Knope: [as Dangerfield] I tell ya, these geese don't give me no respect. No respect at all.
Ben: She insists on trying it every time, and it never works. But the rest of the speech, fantastic.

Reporter: Leslie, can you comment on Bobby's father Nick Newport?
Leslie Knope: Nick Newport has been intimidating and bullying and poisoning this town for years. Frankly, he's a real jerk, and if he thinks he can buy this election for his son, he's wrong.
Reporter: Sorry, I meant can you comment on Nick Newport dying earlier today?
Leslie Knope: He died? I... Sad.
Reporter: Is that your official statement? "I sad"?
Leslie Knope: No, my official statement is that is overall, a bummer. Oof. And--and together we can build a better Pawnee. [Gloria Estefan's "Get on Your Feet" starts playing] No, this is isn't the time. No, guys.

Leslie Knope: Okay, Ben, what do we do?
Ben: Okay, it's unfortunate, but the stakes are too high. We can't just stop campaigning. We stop, we lose.
Leslie Knope: [snaps fingers] Good answer, great body. Ann, try to beat what he said.
Ann: I'm not going to beat him.
Leslie Knope: Not with that attitude.

Chris: I absolutely think that we should keep campaigning. The worst possible thing we could do would be to stop, 'cause if the campaign stops, we all stop. And stopping is certain death. Who wants a panini? Anyone? Everyone? I'm going to say everyone.