Donna: You should listen to him. Those books are good.
[aside to camera:]
Donna: Oh, I love any book about vampires, werewolves, monsters, zombies, sorcerers, beasties, or time-traveling romances. And if I had an hour alone with Robert Pattinson, he would forget all about Skinnylegs McGee. I'll tell you that much.

Donna: So, it's the Last Supper, but with famous people from Indiana. Mmm-hmm. John Mellencamp, Larry Bird, Michael Jackson, uh, David Letterman, Vivica A. Fox. Okay, so, here's where it gets a little dicey. Because there's not that many celebrities from Indiana. So, a NASCAR. Uh, my friend, Becky. Ron Swanson.
Leslie Knope: Donna? Who's the Jesus?
Donna: That would be Greg Kinnear.

April: I want to figure out your spirit dog, and I'm going to do that by learning everything there is to know about you.
Donna: All right. Game on.
April: Okay, what's your favorite color?
Donna: For cars, it's gold. For shoes, it's red. Unless it's the weekend, then reverse them.
April: Favorite music?
Donna: 1970s funk and 1770s opera and Sugar Ray, post Mark McGrath after he left for Entertainment Tonight.
April: Favorite book?
Donna: Downton Abbey.
April: That's not a--
Donna: Downton. Abbey.

Leslie Knope: Donna, can we use your lake house?
Donna: How did you know about that?
[aside to camera:]
Donna: My family has a lake house up in the foothills, but we keep it quiet. We're not big on hospitality. The Meagles are a cold people.
[back:]
Leslie Knope: Can we use your house?
Donna: I suppose. Bring your own towels.

Ann: Wow, Donna. This place is beautiful.
Donna: Yes, it is, and it will stay that way. These are the house rules. No dirty shoes in the house. Upstairs is Meagle space only. And if you listen closely, that is the bubbling of the hot tub. You do not have access to it. If you follow these rules, we won't have a problem.

Donna: [aside to camera] Each animal has a photo, special talents, and a personal history... That I made up. A lot of these dogs have rescued people from burning buildings. This one helped Ray Charles around.
Andy: What? This cat was in Boogie Nights?

Leslie Knope: Donna, help me out. What makes Pawnee so great?
Donna: Cost of living is cheap. In about three years, I will have saved enough to pay off my condo in Seattle.
Ben: You have a condo in Seattle?
Donna: Yes, I like the rain and the fish markets.

[A woman's frantic scream is heard]
Ann: Is that Donna? Donna? Okay, easy. Donna? Don't worry. Are you okay? What? Is it your heart? Are you having trouble breathing?
Donna: [screaming] It's my car. Someone shot my car!

Donna: Are you gonna hit that?
Ann: Him? He isn't exactly boyfriend material.
Donna: Who said anything about a boyfriend? Use him, abuse him, lose him. That's the Meagle motto.
[aside to camera:]
Donna: Grammy Meagle taught me that. She died at the age of 84, sandwiched between two thirty-year-olds.

Tom: They put up a fence.
Leslie Knope: Who? [gasps] No!
Andy: What's that?
Leslie Knope: There's a small park on the line between Pawnee and Eagleton, and...
Tom: Last night Eagleton put up a fence around their side to keep us disgusting Pawnee hobos off their precious land. There's even a security guard. You got to show Eagleton I.D. to get in.
Donna: Eagleton is a bunch of rich snobs. And that's coming from someone who has a Mercedes with a Harman Kardon Logic 7 surround-sound system.