Parks and Recreation Quote of the Day

Sunday, February 25, 2024

Quote from Leslie Knope in Flu Season 2

Andy: Well, I guess while you get your medicine, I'll just stroll through the candy aisles but won't get any.
Leslie Knope: You can buy two candies.
Andy: Two!
Kitty: Can I help you?
Leslie Knope: I have the flu. Super nauseated for a few days, a lot of barfing. It's a total disaster. Plus I have a ton of work to do, so I need the good stuff, the "Mariah needs to sing tonight" stuff.


Recent Quotes

Saturday, February 24, 2024

Quote from Andy in Campaign Ad

Andy: E, h, 4, m. Potato shape. Coffee mug shape. Smudge, smudge, middle finger, smudge. The rest are all smudges.
April: Oh, my God, you drove us here.

Friday, February 23, 2024

Quote from Chris in Flu Season

Chris: Ann Perkins.
Ann: Hey. How was your run?
Chris: Ended with a 5 1/2-minute mile, my personal low. I think the pavement in this town is soft.
Ann: What's with the mask?
Chris: Flu prevention. My body is finely tuned, like a microchip. And the flu is like a grain of sand. It could literally shut down the entire system.
Ann: My body's like a chip too. Potato chip. [both chuckle] No.

Thursday, February 22, 2024

Quote from Jerry in Park Safety

Jerry: Wait a minute. No. That is not the graph. That is a picture from my vacation in Muncie.
Tom: You went on a vacation, and you chose Muncie, Indiana?
Jerry: Yeah. My wife and I have a timeshare.
Tom: In Muncie?
Leslie Knope: Tom. Muncie is a lovely city.

Wednesday, February 21, 2024

Quote from Tom in Flu Season

Ben: I'm sorry. Are you leaving? I thought we had a meeting.
Leslie Knope: No, we do. It's just I think it's a little chilly in here.
Ben: Are you okay? Your eyes are glassy.
Chris: Oh, my God. Oh, my... Is she... Is she sick? Are you sick?
Tom: [wearing motorcycle helmet] No. Yeah, she's sick. That's why I'm wearing this and misting myself with hand sanitizer.

Tuesday, February 20, 2024

Quote from Ron Swanson in Two Funerals

Donna: We're so sorry, Ron. You guys were close?
Ron Swanson: I've seen Salvatore the first Tuesday of the month for the past four decades. Same exact thing every time. I paid him $8. I sat in the same chair. Salvatore put the same cape over me. Then he'd always ask me about the same thing... nothing. It was perfect. Can't delay this forever. Excuse me. [at the casket] The three most important people in a man's life are his barber, his butcher, and his lover. I have lost one of those. Here's a tenner, Sal. As you know, I don't believe in tipping, so I will collect my change from your wife. [to Donna] I had an appointment with Salvatore scheduled for Tuesday. Look how raggedy my hair is. What am I supposed to be, some kind or rock star?

Monday, February 19, 2024

Quote from Leslie Knope in The Cones of Dunshire

Chris: BFF slideshow? You know that even after we leave Pawnee, Ann will always be your best friend. And it's not that long a trip.
Leslie Knope: Well, it would be even faster if the governor would return my calls about my Pawnee to Ann Arbor bullet train idea.

Upcoming Quotes

Monday, February 26, 2024

A quote from Leslie Knope in the episode Halloween Surprise.

Tuesday, February 27, 2024

A quote from Ron Swanson in the episode London (Part 1).

Wednesday, February 28, 2024

A quote from Tom in the episode Partridge.

Thursday, February 29, 2024

A quote from Ron Swanson in the episode Live Ammo.

Friday, March 1, 2024

A quote from April in the episode Hunting Trip.