Parks and Recreation Quote of the Day

Thursday, April 22, 2021

Quote from Ron Swanson in Go Big or Go Home

Ron Swanson: Well, I am usually not one for speeches. So good-bye.


Recent Quotes

Wednesday, April 21, 2021

Quote from Tom in Smallest Park

Jerry: Got you a little pick-me-up, Tommy. A triple-decker ham and cheese from the cafeteria. Always makes me feel better.
Tom: Two pathetic guys eating pathetic sandwiches. Sounds terrific.
[aside to camera:]
Tom: I guess I'm Jerry now. After work, I'll just go home, straight to my boring house, kiss my wife, and have a home-cooked meal with my three beautiful daughters. What a miserable life.

Tuesday, April 20, 2021

Quote from Ron Swanson in Ron & Tammy: Part Two

Wendy: They're getting really old and I'm an only child. I just feel like the right thing to do is to move back home.
Ron Swanson: I'm sorry to see you go. I've really come to think of you as... A companion.
Wendy: Hey, I don't suppose you'd want to move to Canada?
Ron Swanson: [chokes, spits, laughs] Canada. No, I don't suppose I would.

Monday, April 19, 2021

Quote from Leslie Knope in The Stakeout

Ann: I just want to check one last time that you're okay about this date with Mark.
Leslie Knope: Oh, my God. I'm so fine with it, Ann. Seriously. It's so fine. As long as you and I are cool. You know my code. Hoes before bros. Uteruses before duderuses.
Ann: Got it.
Leslie Knope: Ovaries before brovaries.

Sunday, April 18, 2021

Quote from Leslie Knope in Pawnee Commons

Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] Well, they always wine and dine you first, but the fact of the matter is Eagletonians are, without exception, snobby, condescending jerks. This is the Pawnee side of our border with Eagleton... [sign: "Now Leaving Pawnee. Come Back Soon!"] And this is the Eagleton side. [sign: "Now Entering Pawnee. Good Luck With That!"]

Saturday, April 17, 2021

Quote from Ron Swanson in Pie-Mary

April: So I guess we are celebrating that you trusted me and I let you down. Great.
Ron Swanson: I change my house locks every 16 days. That key has been useless since the second Tuesday after I gave it to you. What matters is that I trust you and admire you as a person. I will be sorry to see you leave this town for many reasons... not the least of which is that you created a puzzle that even I couldn't solve. And boy, oh, boy, did you love Andy. [laughs] "Woof, woof." [laughs] It really is embarrassing.
April: Oh, my God. I totally know where the key is.

Friday, April 16, 2021

Quote from Andy in Donna and Joe

Andy: Guys, it happened a really long time ago, right? And it was probably an accident.
Turk: Oh, yeah, I'm sure the Dig Dug machine just unplugged itself right before I was about to beat his high score. Yeah, I'm sure it was an accident.
April: Hey, status report?
Andy: The Meagles are weird. The words that they say sound passive, but seem aggressive. I feel like there should be a term for that. Like, "nicey-meanie."

Upcoming Quotes

Friday, April 23, 2021

A quote from Jerry in the episode Moving Up (Part 1).

Saturday, April 24, 2021

A quote from Ann in the episode Sweetums.

Sunday, April 25, 2021

A quote from Andy in the episode The Bubble.

Monday, April 26, 2021

A quote from Leslie Knope in the episode Woman of the Year.

Tuesday, April 27, 2021

A quote from Ron Swanson in the episode Woman of the Year.