April: Who's Garry?
Jerry: Oh, I think that's supposed to be me.
April: Ha ha. That's your new name. Garry.
Andy: Garry!
All: Garry! Garry! Garry! Garry! Garry!
[aside to camera:]
Jerry: Garry is my real name. Yes, after 30 years, my coworkers are finally going to call me by my real name. Oh, boy, I'm blessed.

Ron Swanson: More importantly, do you have tri-tip for tonight? Because if not I brought my own.
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: I love weddings. Good food, the celebration of romantic love, and most of all, churches. Say what you will about organized religion, those bastards knew how to construct an edifice.

Leslie Knope: [gasps] Oh, my God. Oh, look at how beautiful you look.
Donna: Leslie, I'm not even in my dress yet.
Leslie Knope: But you're gonna be very soon.
Donna: All right, I want to say something to my girls. Knope, you're a softie, but on the inside, you're a straight-up boss. April, you're the exact opposite. Y'all inspire me and I love you. And you, too, Michelle. Michelle... You were my best friend from childhood. Until we lost touch 'cause you thought your college boyfriend was into me. He was. I never gave him the time of day. But now, we're rebuilding our friendship. Is this wedding going to be a test for you? Yes. But the doctors once told you you were never going to walk again. So this should be easy, right?
Leslie Knope: Wow, what a complicated tapestry that is.
Donna: Bring it in. Bring it in. Bring it in.

Eugene: Ben Wyatt. Any comment on the report that you're running for Congress?
Ben: I'm sorry, I can't talk about this right now.
Eugene: Your only experience in politics was as a failed mayor at age 18--
Ben: Okay, please, everyone, we're at a wedding. And I'm holding zebras.
Eugene: I mean, what qualifies you to take over Hartwell's seat?
Ben: Guys, listen to me, please. I'm dealing with an actual problem right now. Okay? Which, by the way, is what I do for a living. I solve problems as a budget specialist, and for five years as a City Manager, and I'm pretty good at it. I have worked hard to transform this area into a fiscally sound destination for people who want good jobs, and a good public education, and I think the results speak for themselves. [cameras clicking] My name is Ben Wyatt, and I'm running for Congress.
Leslie Knope: Oh, my God, babe, that was so hot.

Donna: April, walk with me. So I chose you as my Maid of Honor because you've become one of my best friends, and I love you like a sister.
April: Ew.
Donna: But also because you're tough. My family arrives tonight.
April: I know. And they're all set with their welcome bags, and I told your brother LeVondrious that he is not welcome.
Donna: Good, but still, there's gonna be 28 Meagles in one room, which means there's gonna be drama.
April: I will handle everything. I actually care whether you're having a good time and are happy. It's weird.
[aside to camera:]
Donna: The Meagles are a cold-blooded crew of judgmental grudge-holders. My cousin Winnie once forgot to use a coaster at my grandpa's house, and he wrote her out of his will. The last four Meagle family Pictionary tournaments ended at the hospital. Legally, no more than three Meagles are allowed on an international flight together. But they give great gifts. Gotta get that flatware.

Andy: Guys, it happened a really long time ago, right? And it was probably an accident.
Turk: Oh, yeah, I'm sure the Dig Dug machine just unplugged itself right before I was about to beat his high score. Yeah, I'm sure it was an accident.
April: Hey, status report?
Andy: The Meagles are weird. The words that they say sound passive, but seem aggressive. I feel like there should be a term for that. Like, "nicey-meanie."

Gayle: Oh, would you look at that? Sweetie, I think your best friend Tom's giving his ladyfriend a gift.
Jerry: You know Gayle gives me a gift each and every day.
Gayle: Oh, I got the greatest gift of all. Being married to you.
Jerry: Oh, sweetie.
Ron Swanson: Control yourselves, Gergiches!

Ben: Hey, everybody. I'm Ben Wyatt. Listen, we, of course, are here to celebrate Donna and Joe, and I have to say, you know, getting married is the bravest, most wonderful thing you can do. Because every day you come home and you're just, like, "What? It's you! I love you! You're my sexy roommate. We love each other."
Leslie Knope: Whoo! He's talking about me.
Ben: Yes, I am, babydoll! Look, Donna and Joe are great. You all are great. And this wedding is gonna be amazing. Let's get some music and dancing going. And I am Ben Wyatt, and I very much approve this message! [cheering]

Walden: Ron? I'm Walden, with the Church's historical archives. You called about wanting information on the building?
Ron Swanson: I did, indeed. Let's start with the facade. Was the limestone locally hand-hewn?
Walden: No. In the late 1870s, it was actually cheaper to import limestone from Michigan.
Ron Swanson: Fascinating.

Ron Swanson: I couldn't help but notice, from afar, that you are both acting like weirdoes. I further suspect you have not yet talked about what happened.
Tom: What? I don't even know what you're talking about us having not talked about.
Ron Swanson: I only meant to say that there's no shame in declaring how you feel to a person you cherish. I am sorry if I caused a problem. Because the two of you make a good team. If you'll excuse me, I missed out on the food, and was denied a fascinating conversation about Michigan limestone. But I'll be damned if I don't properly honor the expression of romantic love.