Trending Parks and Recreation Quotes
Quote from Andy in The Treaty
Andy: Honey! I just traded Finland's military to Kenya for 50 lions. That's pretty good, right?
April: Yeah...
Andy: Okay.
April: But also militaries are pretty good at protecting countries.
Andy: But so are lions. And you don't have to pay them.
[aside to camera:]
Andy: These kids are idiots. I've just traded all of Finland's boring stuff for every other country's lions? I definitely have more lions than any other country in the whole world right now. I have no idea what's going on. But if that ends up meaning something in this game, I'd say I'm set.
Quote from Leslie Knope in Second Chunce
Leslie Knope: Jen Barkley telling me I had a future was the best present I could have got. Thank you.
Ben: You're welcome. But, I did get you one other present to take your mind off all this.
Leslie Knope: Aww, you are the sweetest man in the world. Where is it?
Ben: Well, it's not here. We have to go get it.
[cut to Leslie and Ben in Paris; aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: In times of stress or in moments of transition, sometimes it can feel like the whole world is closing in on you. When that happens, you should close your eyes, take a deep breath, listen to the people that love you when they're giving advice, and remember what really matters. And, if you have the ability to go to Paris, by all means, go to Paris!
Quote from Tom in Dave Returns
Tom: All right, look, I know I messed up, but there's something I got to say to you. No playbook, no gimmicks, just me, Tom, talking to you as a person.
Ann: Okay, I would like that.
Tom: Good, 'cause this is what I really want to say. [sings] Baby, I'm sorry for how I acted But if you give me another chance I could be the boo of your dreams, girl So, when you're sleeping and you're dreamin' of a boo I want that boo to be me, I want me to be that boo So will you date me? I'm saying date me
Quote from Ron Swanson in The Wall
Leslie Knope: Look, you know how much I love Pawnee. But the more I try to fix it the more people fight me. They call me names, they recall me, they try to kill the merger. They literally punch me in the face. And yet every time I contemplate leaving, just walking away once and for all, I just can't do it. What is wrong with me?
Ron Swanson: Yesterday, I fixed that old steam radiator. Threaded a new valve into the side, removed the handle from the base, unscrewed the packing nut from the stem. This subpar toolbox only had one wrench, so I was lucky it was a three-quarters or I'd have been screwed.
Leslie Knope: [laughs] Yeah, man, you are lucky. Come on, Ron. What the hell? I need your help.
Ron Swanson: By the time I was done, this 100-year-old piece of American-made cast iron was singing like a bird. Now... to most people, this story would seem boring.
Leslie Knope: That's ridiculous. It's a story about a radiator.
Ron Swanson: But to me, it was immensely satisfying because I enjoy fixing radiators. You like fixing this town, Leslie, you always have. You know it's an uphill battle, but you love the struggle. I would also add that you've already done a hell of a lot to make this town better, and people like this young man here will benefit from your hard work.
Leslie Knope: He is a beautiful boy. He's quite a looker. Thank you, Ron.
Quote from Ron Swanson in Recall Vote
Joan Callamezzo: Oh, my goodness, we are back with America's greatest leader... [laughs] Annabel Porter and her new favorite artisan, local woodworker Ron Swanson.
Ron Swanson: Hello.
Annabel Porter: I discovered Ron's chairs a few months ago, and what I absolutely love about a Swanson is you can really use it for anything.
Ron Swanson: Yes, mostly you use it for sitting.
Annabel Porter: Make it a rustic accent piece in your solarium. Even better, use it as a focal point in your yoga tent.
Ron Swanson: Put it by a table and eat a meal.
Annabel Porter: [chuckles] We don't do meals in my home. No, every two hours, we eat what I like to call a food tease, like an oat wedge or a seaweed lozenge.
Joan Callamezzo: Can I just say... And I think this is really important, so I need everyone to shut up... I love your hair.
Annabel Porter: Oh. Thank you. It's genetic and unattainable.
Quote from Leslie Knope in London (Part 2)
Ben: Nice to be home.
Leslie Knope: It is. But I mean, I love Pawnee, I will always love Pawnee, but London is amazing. And Silkeborg sounds amazing, and Mongolia sounds amazing.
Ben: Their mayor is a professional wolverine Wrangler.
Leslie Knope: Fine, Mongolia sounds terrifying, but the world is a very big place, and I've seen very little of it. Maybe we should travel more, expand our horizons.
Ben: You know, I've had the same kinds of thoughts. We should keep that in mind, see where it leads us.
Quote from Tom in Sweet Sixteen
Tom: Hey. Here's a fun game. Let's talk minimum acceptable thread count for sheets.
Ann: Ooh, that does sound fun.
Tom: Stop me when I hit it. 1,000... 800... 700... 600? Ann, I'm at 600. Are you really not stopping me?
Ann: I have those cotton t-shirt sheets.
Tom: Huh?
[aside to camera:]
Tom: It's always the most beautiful ladies who hurt you the worst.
Quote from Leslie Knope in Born & Raised
Man: Support for Pawnee Community Radio comes from the Wendell G. and Muriel Fathwright Korbleman Foundation, and Sweetums Cares, a nonprofit group that puts umbrella hats on homeless people when it rains.
Derry Murbles: Welcome to Thoughts for your thoughts. I'm Derry Murbles filling in for David Parker, who took off for eight months to study the migration patterns of our nation's squirrels. We have not seen him since. My guest today is author Leslie Knope. The book, Pawnee: The greatest town in America.
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: I wrote a book. The first historical guide to Pawnee. I wrote it as a reference for myself, but then, my campaign advisor said we should make it a big, wide release. So we had people contribute, we added pictures, and we removed a lot of my poems and emotional ramblings and pictures of unicorns, and here it is!
Derry Murbles: Leslie, could one say that a book is nothing more than a painting of words, which are the notes on the tapestry of the greatest film ever sculpted?
Leslie Knope: One could say that. But should one?
Derry Murbles: Join us next week when David Bianculli will be filling in for Richard Chang-Jefferson, who will be filling in for me. Leslie, would you like to take us out?
Leslie Knope: Okay. "Please enjoy a song from the lesbian Afro-Norwegian Funk duo, Nefertiti's Fjord."
[eccentric pop music plays]
Leslie Knope: Oh, wow. They are terrible.
Derry Murbles: Oh, yes. Th-they're quite awful. But they are lesbians, so...