Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘Moving Up (Part 1)’ Quotes

Parks and Recreation: Moving Up (Part 1)

621. Moving Up (Part 1)

Aired April 24, 2014

While attending a conference in San Francisco, Leslie makes a big decision about her future. While out West, Ben and Andy try to woo a tech company to invest in Pawnee. Back in Pawnee, Tom needs his friends' help when he brings forward the opening night of his restaurant.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Tom: We have ten tables booked for the soft opening. It's all friends and family, so hopefully they'll go easy on us. How's it looking, Ron? Maybe speed it up a little?
Ron Swanson: This is not government work. As such, I treat it with care and attention.
Tom: Okay, but also, go faster.

Rate

Quote from Jerry

Mitch Savner: Seems like things are a little chaotic.
Tom: No, no, everything is perfect. This is April. She's gonna be taking care of you tonight.
April: Hello, welcome to Tommy's Bistro. Today we have spaghetti, linguine, fettuccini, ravioli, rigatoni, bucatini, lasagna.
Mitch Savner: Could you repeat that?
April: Spaghetti, linguine, fettuccini, ravioli, rigatoni, Ferrari, Lamborghini, bucatini, lasagna.
Mitch Savner: Can I see a menu?
April: We had to throw our menus away because they are covered with pictures of Larry's dog rectum.
Jerry: Great news. Lord Sheldon's gonna make it. Yeah, just have to apply a salve to his anus every hour for the rest of his life, but... Oh, enjoy your meal.

Quote from Ben

Leslie Knope: Well, that is a gorgeous view.
Ben: Yes, it is. But don't look at that. Look at this. You've been thinking about this job in the abstract. Focus on what it actually means. We're standing in a national park that stretches 50 miles. That's the Presidio over there. It's a national park. So is Alcatraz, and so are the redwoods we just walked through, by the way. You take this job, places like this will be your office.
Leslie Knope: Well, that is a compelling point.
Ben: When we got back from London, you said... that it's a very big world and you've seen very little of it. This is your chance, honey. This whole region... Mount Rushmore, the Badlands, the Ozarks, Abe Lincoln's childhood home... you would be in charge of all of it. Your job would be to preserve the most beautiful places on earth so millions of people could enjoy them. And those places, the greatest treasures America has to offer, will all have signs with your name... right there.
Leslie Knope: [on the phone] Hi, Grant. I want the job. I have a lot of questions, but I'm a little amped up right now, so I'll probably just hang up. It might be for the best. But, anyway, I love you. No, I don't. I'm sorry. That was weird. Okay, bye. Oh, this is Lester Kanopf. No, you know who it... Okay, bye.
Ben: Smoothly handled, Lester.
Leslie Knope: I panicked. We should go. We have a lot of stuff to do... and the meter's still running on that cab, so chop-chop.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Andy: Last chance, Ron. The slots are finalized, but I can squeeze in ten minutes if a certain mister... [whispering] Duke Silver wanted to come out. Come on, Ron, it's gonna be so fun.
Ron Swanson: Thank you, Andrew, but fun or not, playing music is something I like to keep private, along with my family, my conversations, and my whereabouts at all times.

Quote from Jerry

Jerry: I got the menus.
Tom: Great. [chuckles] Larry, what the hell? What are these pictures?
Jerry: Aw, jeez, I must have given the printer the wrong flash drive.
Tom: What is this, a rotten grapefruit?
Jerry: No, it's my dog's rectum. Lord Sheldon has a growth, so we're sending pictures over to the vet. But I guess this isn't good for menus, is it?
Tom: Larry, Larry, Larry, listen to me. This is the worst thing you've ever done. I need you to take all of these dog-butt pictures and burn them in the pizza oven. April, you list all the menu items from memory. It'll be classier anyway.

Quote from Tom

Tom: [aside to camera] My restaurant opens in six weeks, and I'm making sure I get every detail right. This is the hardest I've worked on anything since... Wow. I've never worked hard on anything. What a cool life!

Quote from Tom

Ron Swanson: So you screwed up a little. You tried to shoot the moon, and you came up short. That doesn't mean it's over.
Tom: My main investor pulled out. Any dollar I spend from now on is my own. And despite what my pocket square says, I'm not a billionaire. So I quit. Just go home, Ron.
Ron Swanson: I'm not done with the chairs yet. It is my belief that you never start a job you don't intend to finish.
Tom: Really? I love quitting. When I was a kid and things didn't go my way, I would just take my ball and go home. That's better than winning, 'cause then your friends can't play anymore.

Quote from Andy

Andy: Whoa, Alcatraz. Can't believe Michael Bay spent a billion dollars of his own money to build that for The Rock.
Ben: I can't believe you were able to recite that entire movie from memory on the plane ride.
Andy: You weren't trying to sleep, were you? I couldn't tell, 'cause you had that mask thing over your eyes.

Quote from Leslie Knope

Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] This may be the craziest week of my entire life. I am six days away from the start of the Unity concert. I am pregnant with triplets. I am trying to decide if I should take a job that will move me away from Pawnee, and I am speaking at the National Parks conference in San Francisco. It is gonna be so much fun. Michelle Obama is the keynote speaker, and you know what they say, "What happens at a national parks conference... is compiled and emailed to you in a PDF the following Monday."

Quote from Ben

Ben: [aside to camera] Andy and I are meeting with a tech company called "Gryzzl." Now, they're giving away free Wi-Fi to a few cities across America, and we're going to pitch Pawnee to them. And what exactly does Gryzzl do? Well, "It's the cloud for your cloud." No idea.

Quote from Leslie Knope

Grant Larsen: Hey, here's someone who may be able to convince you. Hello, Mrs. Obama.
Michelle Obama: Hey, Grant. How you doing?
Leslie Knope: Oh. [shudders]
Grant Larsen: Doing good. This is Leslie Knope. She's considering a job with us running the new Midwest Bureau in Chicago.
Michelle Obama: Well, you know how I feel about Chicago.
Leslie Knope: Ah, you are from Chicago, so you like it!
Michelle Obama: That's right, and we need passionate people like you on our national parks. You know, they get hundreds of millions of visitors each year. Are you nodding because you agree with me?
Leslie Knope: Yes, I do agree with you. I agree with you on all things throughout history until the end of time, forever. You and Grant work together?
Michelle Obama: Yeah, we work together a lot. He's helped me integrate the "Let's Move" program into our national parks. You know, getting kids outside, rock climbing, hiking.
Leslie Knope: Wow! That's really, really incredible! Great work! I'm sorry I'm talking so loud! I'm getting louder now, and I can't stop! My apologies! Just... I don't know. I'm sorry I'm talking so loud! Just... can I high-five you?
Michelle Obama: Yeah. Well... I hope you take the job. Change happens one person at a time. Good to meet you.
Grant Larsen: [sighs] Again, think it over.
Leslie Knope: [laughs]

Quote from Ron Swanson

Tom: Ron! What was wrong with that one?
Ron Swanson: It was too perfect. It looked machine-made.

Quote from Ben

Ben: No. I am not gonna take "no" for an answer. If we're leaving Pawnee, I'm gonna give 'em a going-away present... free Wi-Fi for all. Every time someone in Pawnee clicks through a slideshow of American Music Award red-carpet side-boob fails, they'll say, "Thank you, Ben Wyatt."

Quote from Craig

Donna: It's a bold flavor... fruity, a little earthy.
Craig: Well, which is it... fruity or earthy? It can't be both. They're mutually exclusive!
Donna: Oh, no! You do not come at me like that.
Craig: I'm sorry. I don't know who I am anymore. A man without a palate isn't a man. I love you, Donna.
Tom: What are you guys doing? There's people waiting out there!
Craig: We're having a moment, you monster!

Quote from Ben

Leslie Knope: Where are we going?
Ben: Oh, it's right up here. Just trust me. I'm on Endor. These are the redwoods George Lucas used to create the forest moon of Endor. Sorry. That's not why we're here.

Quote from Jerry

Mitch Savner: Can I see a menu?
April: We had to throw our menus away because they are covered with pictures of Larry's dog rectum.
Jerry: Great news. Lord Sheldon's gonna make it. Yeah, just have to apply a salve to his anus every hour for the rest of his life, but... Oh, enjoy your meal.

Quote from Craig

Craig: A soft opening tomorrow? From now on, everyone call me Kristin, because I am wigging out right now!


 Episode 620 Episode 622 
  Select another episode