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Leslie and Ben

‘Leslie and Ben’

Season 5, Episode 14 -  Aired February 21, 2013

Leslie and Ben decide to get married after the gala, compressing three months of planning into one evening.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Leslie Knope: [sighing] I love the first floor of City Hall at night. When all the fluorescents are half-off. Just makes the informational fliers look so beautiful.
Ron Swanson: I've never willingly been here later than 5:04 p.m. Before we go inside, I'd like to say something. You are a wonderful person. [voice breaks] Your friendship means a lot to me. And you look very beautiful.
Leslie Knope: Okay, weirdo. Let's go.
[Ron holds out his arm for Leslie to take]
Leslie Knope: Hoo, boy.


Quote from Ben

Tom: We are gathered here tonight to join Leslie Knope and Benjamin Wyatt in marriage. It's been a long and winding road for these two lovebirds. And they're so impatient to begin their lives together they've moved their wedding date up three months. So I say, let's keep it short and sweet.
April: Yes, just do it already.
Tom: I assume, and hope, you prepared your own vows? Ben, you want to say some stuff about Leslie?
Ben: In my time working for the state government, my job sent me to 46 cities in 11 years. I lived in villages with eight people, rural farming communities, college towns. I was sent to every corner of Indiana. And then I came here. And I realized that, this whole time, I was just wandering around, everywhere, just looking for you.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] It's not rocket science. I removed the sconce... Fired up my grandfather's torch, heated up the pieces in a cast-iron bucket. Liquefied the metal. Pour it into a mold. Obviously keep it over a low flame to achieve a nice temper. Cooled it in antifreeze. And just forged and shaped the rings. Any moron with a crucible, an acetylene torch, and a cast-iron waffle maker could have done the same. Whole thing only took me about 20 minutes. People who buy things are suckers.

Quote from Leslie Knope

Ron Swanson: Well, please, don't worry about me. Just go and get married.
Leslie Knope: No.
Ron Swanson: Leslie.
Leslie Knope: Ron. Listen to me very carefully. I lost my father when I was ten, I don't have any brothers, and Ken Burns never wrote me back. So I am not getting married without you there to walk me down the aisle. End of discussion.

Quote from Leslie Knope

Tom: Leslie, do you want to say some stuff about Ben now?
Leslie Knope: Okay, well, the first draft of my vows, which I wrote the day after we got engaged, clocked in at around 70 pages. [all murmur] But I don't have them with me today. [all sigh] Although maybe there's a copy of them in my office. [all murmuring]
April: No.
Ben: That's fine, that's fine. I think we can just keep going.
Leslie Knope: Okay. [all sigh] Here's what I'll say, then. The things that you have done for me, to help me, support me, surprise me, to make me happy, go above and beyond what any person deserves. You're all I need. I love you and I like you.
Ben: I love you and I like you.
Jerry: And now, with the power vested in me by the state of Indiana, I now pronounce you husband and wife.

Quote from Tom

Ben: Oh, uh, yikes. We need an officiant.
Tom: I got this. You can become an ordained minister online in, like, five minutes. Do you want more like a Steve Harvey vibe or straight-up Seacrest? Nuh! Never mind. I'll combine 'em, Steve-crest.

Quote from Leslie Knope

Leslie Knope: It's not finished. Why didn't the seamstress finish it? If you're not gonna finish something three months early, then don't accept the job.
Ann: There's got to be something we can do.
Leslie Knope: This wedding is meant to be. We're gonna figure it out. Now how did Cinderella finish her dress so fast? Squirrels and birds. That's not very helpful.

Quote from Ben

Leslie Knope: We have two hours to do this. I want you to get everyone together, and meet me at Ann's house in ten minutes.
Ben: Okay. Oh, wait, before we get married, there is something we need to discuss. I mean, we've never talked about it, but I really want you to take my last name.
Leslie Knope: Oh! Oh. Okay. Really?
Ben: Yeah, it's just [sighs] really important to me, symbolically, that Leslie Knope disappears and becomes Leslie Wyatt. Or Councilwoman Mrs. Ben Wyatt. That's fine too. It's a deal breaker.
Leslie Knope: Wait, are you messing with me?
Ben: Sorry, I had to give it a shot.

Quote from Andy

Andy: I look around this room. If it weren't for Leslie Knope, none of us would be here. So, Leslie, this song, which is for Li'l Sebastian, is for you.
[Andy plays guitar as Donna sings "5000 Candles in the Wind":]
Donna: Up in horsey heaven, here's the thing You trade your legs for angel's wings And once we've all said good-bye You take a running leap, and you learn to fly
All: Bye-bye, Li'l Sebastian Miss you in the saddest fashion...

Quote from April

Andy: Miss Beavers, this is official police business. I hope we didn't wake you up.
Ethel Beavers: It's after 10:00. I've been asleep for four hours. What do you want?
April: We need you to sign this. It's a marriage license.
Barry: Ethel? Is it robbers?
Ethel Beavers: No, go back to bed.
Andy: Aww, is that your husband?
Ethel Beavers: I'm not married. I was on a date tonight. It went well, he's sleeping over.
April: Cool.
Andy: It'd really mean a lot if you sign it. It's for Leslie Knope and Ben Wyatt. I think you know them?
Ethel Beavers: They dragged me out in the freezing cold once, so they could tell each other "I love you." It was annoying.
Andy: Oh, thank you so much! You have got an amazing house and a really cool nightgown and seem to be super good at dating.
April: Yeah, so can we adopt you as our grandma?
Ethel Beavers: Fine.
Andy: [laughs] Cool!
Both: We love you, Grandma!

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