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Hunting Trip

‘Hunting Trip’

Season 2, Episode 10 -  Aired November 19, 2009

Trying to prove she is one of the guys, Leslie and her colleagues join Ron on his annual hunting trip with Jerry and Mark. Meanwhile, April is stuck on the phone back at the office.

Quote from Donna

[A woman's frantic scream is heard]
Ann: Is that Donna? Donna? Okay, easy. Donna? Don't worry. Are you okay? What? Is it your heart? Are you having trouble breathing?
Donna: [screaming] It's my car. Someone shot my car!


Quote from Jerry

Jerry: [aside to camera] This is such a great day. See, at my house, I got a wife and three beautiful daughters. But this trip, it is the one time of year I get to pee standing up.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson: You know, Leslie, the Super Bowl is in a couple of months. I usually watch it with my brothers. Maybe you could come by at halftime and shoot me in the head.
Leslie Knope: Ron, I'm really sorry that I ruined your weekend.
Ron Swanson: Perhaps next time I'm enjoying some alone time in the men's restroom, you could invite yourself into my stall and shoot me in the head.
Leslie Knope: Look, if there's anything I can do to make it up to you...
Ron Swanson: Sure. How about you shoot me in the head? Oh, wait, you already did that.

Quote from Tom

Tom: It could have been someone else that shot Ron. Someone not in our group.
Jerry: You think someone is hunting us?
Tom: Man is the most dangerous game.
Donna: To The Predator.
Tom: I did smell something out there. And it wasn't human.
Leslie Knope: That was pine trees.
Donna: The Predator can see heat.
Tom: We should cover ourselves in mud. It could still be out there.

Quote from Tom

Donna: Did you hear that?
Mark: Actually, I did hear something.
Jerry: Okay. There's someone out there.
Tom: I'm gonna get my gun.
Jerry: Okay, Tom. Scare him off and shoot over his head!
Tom: What's that gonna do? I'm gonna shoot under its head!

Quote from Donna

Ranger: Listen, I heard about the accident. And I need to know who is responsible.
Jerry: I don't know. That's the problem.
Mark: Ron and I saw Jerry...
Leslie Knope: I am. I shot Ron Swanson.
Donna: You shot my Mercedes?
Leslie Knope: What? No! No!
[Donna tackles Leslie to the ground]

Quote from Leslie Knope

Ranger: So what happened? Did you forget to check the entire field? I find a lot of women have problems with tunnel vision.
Leslie Knope: No. I'm an excellent hunter.
Ranger: How did you end up shooting a guy in the head then?
Leslie Knope: Fair enough. I was walking in the woods and then I tripped and my gun went off.
Ranger: Ah, so you forgot to put the safety on.
Leslie Knope: No, I always have the safety on. I'm... While I was tripping, I saw a quail and I shot at it.
Ranger: In mid-trip?
Leslie Knope: No, that's... Okay, fine. I got that tunnel vision that girls get. And that's what happened. End of story.
Ranger: I think you're hysterical because of all the excitement, obviously. So, I'm just not following your story. All right?
Leslie Knope: I let my emotions get the best of me. I just... I would... I cared too much, I guess. I was thinking with my lady parts. I was walking and I felt something icky. I thought there was gonna be chocolate. I don't even remember. I'm wearing a new bra and it closes in the front, so it popped open and it threw me off. All I wanna do is have babies! Are you single? I'm just, like, going through a thing right now. I guess when my life is incomplete I wanna shoot someone. This would not happen if I had a penis. What? Bitches be crazy. I'm good at tolerating pain. I'm bad at math. And I'm stupid.

Quote from April

April: You know, if I gave you a hickey, it would totally make Ann jealous.
Andy: I don't know, I think that would... That's pretty gross. Seems kind of weird.
April: What's weird about one friend sucking on another friend's neck?
Andy: When you put it that way, it doesn't sound that weird at all.
April: Yeah, it's not. I gave my gay boyfriend's boyfriend a hickey and it totally made my gay boyfriend jealous.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Leslie Knope: Ron, I got your hat! Ron, I have your hat!-
Ann: Are you in a lot of pain?
Ron Swanson: I was shot in the head with a shotgun.
Ann: Ron, it's actually not that serious. I just need you to stay calm, okay?
Ron Swanson: Yeah, I'm just gonna stay angry. I find that relaxes me.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson: When I look at my palm, I see a lady's mouth French kissing a dog. Is that normal?
Leslie Knope: Is that normal?
Ann: Well, the pain medication I gave you is pretty strong. Donna uses it for menstrual cramps. How many did you take?
Ron Swanson: Seven. Eight. But I washed them down with plenty of fluids.
Ann: No, Ron, you cannot drink Scotch with this. You're gonna need to purge, right now! Okay?
Ron Swanson: No!
Ann: Oh, yeah. Yes, yes, yes.
Ron Swanson: No, I'm not wasting 20-year Scotch.

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