Parks and Recreation Quotes

Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation centers on Leslie Knope, a mid-level bureaucrat in the parks department of the fictional town of Pawnee, Indiana, who is determined to use her position to improve the lives of the town's residents.

Starring: Amy Poehler, Rashida Jones, Aziz Ansari, Nick Offerman, Aubrey Plaza, Chris Pratt, Adam Scott, Rob Lowe, Jim O'Heir, Retta.
Recurring Actors: Paul Schneider, Billy Eichner, Jay Jackson, Mo Collins, Ben Schwartz, Megan Mullally, Jon Glaser.
Original Run: 2009-2015.

Quote of the Day

Quote from Ann in Article Two

Ann: JJ's diner put an old waffle iron up for auction. It's the perfect breakfast day gift for Leslie.
Donna: "Breakfast day"?
[aside to camera:]
Ann: Leslie has anniversaries for everything. "Zoo day," first time we went to the zoo together. "Double date day," it was the first time we went on a double date. "Daniel Day-Lewis day." "Talk-like-a-pirate day." "Talk-like-a-Pittsburgh-pirate day," which why and how? This calendar was last year's calendar day present celebrating the first time she ever bought me a calendar.


Popular Quotes

Quote from Ron Swanson in Gin It Up!

Ron Swanson: That's your will? You need that many pages to say, "Give my stuff to my wife"?
Ben: It's a complicated legal document.
Ron Swanson: It doesn't have to be. I've had the same will since I was eight years old.
Ben: "Upon my death, all of my belongings shall transfer to the man or animal who has killed me." What are these weird symbols?
Ron Swanson: The man who kills me will know.

Quote from Ron Swanson in Ms. Knope Goes to Washington

Ranger Patrick: Hey, Ron. You're not going to slaughter that pig here, are you?
Ron Swanson: Not to worry. I have a permit.
Ranger Patrick: This just says, "I can do what I want."
Ron Swanson: I am the director of the Parks Department, and this is a park.
Ranger Patrick: It's not a Parks thing. It's against, like, three laws and a dozen health codes.
Ron Swanson: Fine. Barbecue is postponed until I can go pick up some meat from the Food 'n' Stuff. Let's go, Tom. No, pig Tom. [Donna laughs]

Quote from Ron Swanson in Partridge

Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] Tom and April were excellent witnesses in my defense. Unfortunately, every single word out of their mouths was a lie. There's only one thing I hate more than lying. Skim milk. Which is water that's lying about being milk.

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Trending Quotes

Quote from Ron Swanson in Anniversaries

Ron Swanson: How much postage does it take to send a letter to Canada?
April: Who's it going to?
Ron Swanson: Canada. It says, "Dear Canada, [bleep] you."

Quote from Ron Swanson in New Beginnings

Leslie Knope: Well, Ron, you were right. Tom has really grown up.
Ron Swanson: You seem merely overjoyed instead of irritatingly ecstatic. Why?
Leslie Knope: Well, Tom's come into his own. April runs Animal Control. I mean, does this department even need me anymore?
Ron Swanson: No. We do not. April and Tom started out as two of the most apathetic people I had ever met. It's why I hired them. Then you betrayed me and turned them into efficient and caring government employees. This office can indeed function without you. And soon, it'll have to.
Leslie Knope: Was that a death threat?
Ron Swanson: We both know you're not gonna be here forever. This is a weigh station on the road to bigger and better things. Whenever you do move on, it should please you to know that - God help me - you've built a well-functioning government agency.

Quote from Andy in Prom

April: Well, we did it. We went to prom. Yay! Let's go now.
Andy: No! What? Are you kidding? This is awesome. Look around. The bloom of youth. Like flowers on the sunset of an eagle's poetry.
April: Andy, I hate teenagers.
Andy: If you give this a chance, you're gonna love it, I promise. It's like the movie Expendables 2. First time, hated it. Second time, hated it. Third time, it was okay. But then the fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, tenth time I watched it, I realized something. It's just... It's not good. It's not a good movie.