Parks and Recreation Quotes
Parks and Recreation
Parks and Recreation centers on Leslie Knope, a mid-level bureaucrat in the parks department of the fictional town of Pawnee, Indiana, who is determined to use her position to improve the lives of the town's residents.
Starring:
Amy Poehler, Rashida Jones, Aziz Ansari, Nick Offerman, Aubrey Plaza, Chris Pratt, Adam Scott, Rob Lowe, Jim O'Heir, Retta.
Recurring Actors:
Paul Schneider, Billy Eichner, Jay Jackson, Mo Collins, Ben Schwartz, Megan Mullally, Jon Glaser.
Original Run: 2009-2015.
Quote of the Day
Quote from Ron Swanson in Prom
Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] I attended prom with Susan Hofler. Picked her up in my truck, we slow-danced to a Merle Haggard song, and then I left early to go to my shift at the quarry. I was 12 years old. Never went again. Felt like I had outgrown it.
Popular Quotes
Quote from Ron Swanson in Gin It Up!
Ron Swanson: That's your will? You need that many pages to say, "Give my stuff to my wife"?
Ben: It's a complicated legal document.
Ron Swanson: It doesn't have to be. I've had the same will since I was eight years old.
Ben: "Upon my death, all of my belongings shall transfer to the man or animal who has killed me." What are these weird symbols?
Ron Swanson: The man who kills me will know.
Quote from Ron Swanson in Ms. Knope Goes to Washington
Ranger Patrick: Hey, Ron. You're not going to slaughter that pig here, are you?
Ron Swanson: Not to worry. I have a permit.
Ranger Patrick: This just says, "I can do what I want."
Ron Swanson: I am the director of the Parks Department, and this is a park.
Ranger Patrick: It's not a Parks thing. It's against, like, three laws and a dozen health codes.
Ron Swanson: Fine. Barbecue is postponed until I can go pick up some meat from the Food 'n' Stuff. Let's go, Tom. No, pig Tom. [Donna laughs]
Quote from Ron Swanson in Partridge
Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] Tom and April were excellent witnesses in my defense. Unfortunately, every single word out of their mouths was a lie. There's only one thing I hate more than lying. Skim milk. Which is water that's lying about being milk.
Quote Collections
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Quote from Andy in The Debate
April: I can't get through to the cable company. Can you do something?
Ron Swanson: Like what?
April: Anything. Andy's just acting out scenes from his favorite movies.
Andy: [imitates motorcycle engine] So Swayze runs, boom! Tackles the guy off the motorcycle. Dude's like, "You're dead, bro!" Comes at him. Swayze ducks, scissor kick. Sha! The guy has Swayze's head. And he says, "I used to [bleep] guys like you in prison." By the looks of this guy, this is not consensual sex we're talking about. We see bad guy had a gun the whole time. He's like, "I'ma kill you the old-fashioned way." Swayze's like, "Not this time." That's subtext. He doesn't say that. Bypasses the gun, hooks the arm. Back to the secret move he used before to kill somebody, he feels so bad about it. But this time he has to do it because it's self-defense. K-k-k-kah! Takes the esophagus out of the neck area. You can't eat. You'll starve to death. And that is Road House.
Quote from Jerry in Park Safety
Jerry: Wait a minute. No. That is not the graph. That is a picture from my vacation in Muncie.
Tom: You went on a vacation, and you chose Muncie, Indiana?
Jerry: Yeah. My wife and I have a timeshare.
Tom: In Muncie?
Leslie Knope: Tom. Muncie is a lovely city.
Quote from Ben in The Treaty
Leslie Knope: I am shocked an appalled by the actions of the honorable delegate from Peru.
Ben: Leslie, just... look... I thought I could handle being friends with you. But I can't, okay? Now, we agreed the other night that we can't spend time together. I think that was the right call.
Leslie Knope: But that was in a romantic way. We can still spend time together as friends.
Ben: It doesn't work that way. You can't just chop up the aspects of a relationship into discrete parts and select the ones you want like a buffet.
Leslie Knope: Why not?
Ben: Because it's selfish. Stop being obtuse.