Monk Quote of the Day

Sunday, June 26, 2022

Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk, Private Eye

Adrian Monk: Wait. I can't go. The boat is on the water. I don't do water.
Natalie: You can't swim?
Adrian Monk: To be honest, I don't know.
Natalie: You don't know.
Adrian Monk: I mean, I know how to swim technically. I've just never actually, you know, done it. All right, I took a correspondence course.
Natalie: You learned to swim by mail?
Adrian Monk: They sent me a little diploma. And this.
Natalie: "Swimming Fundamentals. Don't panic. Breathe normally. Keep kicking."
Adrian Monk: Can I have that back?
Natalie: Why did you even take the course? You never go near the water.
Adrian Monk: Hello? Tsunamis.


Recent Quotes

Saturday, June 25, 2022

Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk and the End (Part Two)

Adrian Monk: Okay, okay, I'll come with you. I can do Canada. I went there once with your mother.
Molly Evans: Well, what about your job?
Adrian Monk: I don't have a job. I'm retired.
Molly Evans: Since when?
Adrian Monk: Since you. Since you and me. Since us.
Molly Evans: I thought you were broke.
Adrian Monk: No, I'll be fine. I can live for 20 years if I don't eat, or pay rent, or pay Natalie, right?

Friday, June 24, 2022

Quote from Ambrose Monk in Mr. Monk Goes Home Again

Ambrose Monk: What are you doing? You- You can't go in there. You cannot go in there.
Julie Teeger: I'm sorry. I didn't know.
Natalie: What's going on?
Ambrose Monk: That, that is, that's Dad's study. We're, we're, we're not allowed in there.
Natalie: Not allowed?
Ambrose Monk: Yes. Dad caught me in there once when I was 12.
Natalie: What happened, Ambrose?
Ambrose Monk: He grounded me.
Julie Teeger: For 30 years?

Thursday, June 23, 2022

Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Goes to Mexico

Adrian Monk: They took all my food and water. What am I gonna eat and drink?
Sharona: Adrian, they have food and water in Mexico.
Adrian Monk: Answer the question! What am I gonna eat and drink?

Wednesday, June 22, 2022

Quote from Sharona in Mr. Monk and the Billionaire Mugger

Sharona: Why did you ask about his glasses?
Adrian Monk: So I could tell which photographs were the most recent. There are about 200 pictures in that room. They documented everything.
Sharona: And?
Adrian Monk: No bungee jumping. No skydiving. The most exciting thing Sidney Teal's done in the last two years is go to Disneyland.
Sharona: Not exactly Batman.
Adrian Monk: This guy? He was... What's the opposite of Batman?
Sharona: You are.

Tuesday, June 21, 2022

Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Gets a New Shrink

Adrian Monk: Isn't this great?
Dr. Kroger: Yeah. It's pretty great.
Adrian Monk: Oh, I'm having trouble sleeping. I think I'm developing a fear of blankets. Is there a name for that?
Dr. Kroger: I- I don't think so.
Adrian Monk: Uh-oh.

Monday, June 20, 2022

Quote from Lieutenant Disher in Mr. Monk Goes to the Hospital

Lieutenant Disher: Captain, look at this.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What is that?
Hospital Administrator: That looks like a seal. That could be from one of our oxygen tanks.
Captain Stottlemeyer: "Room 623."
Lieutenant Disher: Room 623. All right, let's go!
Hospital Administrator: Uh, Lieutenant, that's the geriatric ward. If he's a patient up there, he's at least 80 years old.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, then, we better move fast.

Upcoming Quotes

Monday, June 27, 2022

A quote from Natalie in the episode Mr. Monk and the Naked Man.

Tuesday, June 28, 2022

A quote from Adrian Monk in the episode Mr. Monk on Wheels.

Wednesday, June 29, 2022

A quote from Kevin Dorfman in the episode Mr. Monk and the Paperboy.

Thursday, June 30, 2022

A quote from Adrian Monk in the episode Mr. Monk and the Earthquake.

Friday, July 1, 2022

A quote from Adrian Monk in the episode Mr. Monk and the Leper.