Sharona: Hey, Vince. Vince, you know, you, you don't have to follow us around. If we have something to report back to you, I, I promise we're going to call.
Vince: Uncle Sal told me to keep an eye on you. It's for your own protection.
Adrian Monk: It's a little insulting. I haven't needed a babysitter since I was 19.
Sharona: You had a babysitter when you were 19?
Adrian Monk: Everybody did. It was the late '70s. It was a crazy time.

Adrian Monk: "Fear of bees."
Dr. Bell: Bees. Well, luckily we live in a more urban environment, so the fear of bees...
Adrian Monk: Pass. Fear of blenders.
Dr. Bell: Well, if you don't own a blender, then, actually...
Adrian Monk: Pass. "Fear of bees in blenders."

Reggie Dennison: The pizza box with my prints on it. What was it in? A carton, a bag, or what?
Natalie: My boss recycled it. He separates everything into piles exactly 20 inches high. Then he puts each pile into a green, double-ply trash bag, which he double-tapes shut. Then he puts that bag into another bag, which he wraps with twine four times counterclockwise and ties each end twice. Once he's completed that...
Reggie Dennison: Are you screwing with me?
Natalie: No, I swear. He's very persnickety.

Captain Stottlemeyer: Disher told me that you put the grenade in the refrigerator.
Adrian Monk: Yeah.
Captain Stottlemeyer: And then he said you went back and opened it again. You just had to straighten something out, didn't you? I'm gonna ask the Mayor to give you a medal for what you did. And then I'm gonna ask the Mayor to take that medal back. Because you just had to open that door, didn't you?
Adrian Monk: So it's a wash?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, it's a wash.

Dr. Kroger: No, no, Adrian, I'm not suggesting that you just give up. I'm saying to you that there is always someone ahead of you. This is the human condition. For instance, there, there's a new psychiatrist here in town, name of Lowenstern. Now, I know that there is no way that I will ever be, well, as good as he is. I know this. I accept it.
Adrian Monk: He's better than you?
Dr. Kroger: He's brilliant. Nominated for a Nobel prize. But, the point is, you think that you might enjoy teaching.
Adrian Monk: I don't know. Tell me more about this Lowenstern.
Dr. Kroger: Lowenstern. I could introduce you. Office is right across the street. He charges $400 an hour.
Adrian Monk: ... So where, where were we?

Natalie: This is my boss. This is Adrian Monk. Principal Franklin.
Principal Franklin: Oh, yes. We met last year at the career day. How've you been?
Adrian Monk: The same.
Principal Franklin: I'm sorry to hear that.

Captain Stottlemeyer: What the hell happened? It was only two miles.
Natalie: I took a short cut. I cut across the creek.
Captain Stottlemeyer: There's no bridge across the creek.
Natalie: I know.
Captain Stottlemeyer: There's no bridge across the creek.
Natalie: Yes, I know.
Captain Stottlemeyer: There's no bridge across the creek.