Adrian Monk: This isn't happening. This can't be happening.
Dr. Kroger: Adrian, I promise you, I'll get you another doctor. I'll- I'll call you next week.
Adrian Monk: Okay. So it's not true. You're not retiring. I mean, you can't, because- He- He can't retire. He can't possibly retire.
Dr. Kroger: [to Natalie] This is step one in the grieving process. Denial. Denial, yeah.
Adrian Monk: Damn you, Charles! Damn you to hell! I hate you. I hate you! You are dead to me.
Natalie: That's not denial.
Dr. Kroger: No. Step two, that's anger.
Adrian Monk: Okay. Okay, we're all adults here. We can work this out. I can hire you full time. I'll put you on the payroll.
Dr. Kroger: This is step three. It's bargaining. It usually doesn't go around this quickly.
Adrian Monk: Why me? Why is it always me? Everybody's always leaving me.
Natalie: Depression?
Adrian Monk: This just can't go on. It's just too much. Okay. You're right. It's not the end of the world. I'm just gonna have to find another doctor. I owe you so much. Thanks to you, I think I can get past this. Thanks, Doc.
Dr. Kroger: And finally, acceptance.
Natalie: Thank God that's over.
Adrian Monk: He can't retire! The man can't quit! Because he's not a quitter!
Natalie: Wait, what's going on?
Dr. Kroger: I don't know, I don't know. It's like he's starting all over again, like he's in a loop.
Adrian Monk: I hate you for this, Kroger! You are dead to me, you understand me? Dead!
Dr. Kroger: I- I really should be heading home.
Adrian Monk: Okay, okay, let's be reasonable. I'll come to your house. You'll never have to go to your office again. That's fair. [Kroger walks away] Why? Why me? Why always leaving me?

Adrian Monk: Adrian Monk for Dr. Sorenson.
Receptionist: Fill this out.
Adrian Monk: It says "List any phobias."
Receptionist: That's right.
Adrian Monk: There are only five spaces.
Receptionist: You can use the back.
Adrian Monk: I might need another sheet. [receptionist hands him one] I might need another sheet. [another] I might need another sheet. [and another]

Dr. Kroger: Relax, Harold. Just take it easy. You'll be okay. We're gonna get a doctor. We'll get a doctor.
Adrian Monk: How's he doing?
Dr. Kroger: He's gonna be okay. Did you see what he did? He took a bullet for me, Adrian.
Harold Krenshaw: Monk. Monk. Come here. Closer. [whispers] Beat that.

Natalie: I've always been kind of curious about this place.
Adrian Monk: Yep. This is where it all doesn't happen.

Natalie: Is that Harold's file? Are you allowed to do that?
Adrian Monk: Look, I knew it. I knew it! "Paranoia, acute narcissism. Patient believes Adrian Monk is obsessed with him." If anybody is obsessed with anybody, he is obsessed with me. I've been telling Dr. Kroger that for years. We talk about it all the time.
Natalie: Okay, but Mr. Monk, you should not be reading this. How would you feel if someone read your file?
Adrian Monk: My file?
Captain Stottlemeyer: What are you doing?
Adrian Monk: Oh, I just had a theory about the case. I was checking a suspect.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Hey, that's your file.
Adrian Monk: Well, you can't rule anybody out.

Adrian Monk: Isn't this great?
Dr. Kroger: Yeah. It's pretty great.
Adrian Monk: Oh, I'm having trouble sleeping. I think I'm developing a fear of blankets. Is there a name for that?
Dr. Kroger: I- I don't think so.
Adrian Monk: Uh-oh.

Adrian Monk: How are you doing?
Dr. Kroger: I'm scared to death. What do we do?
Adrian Monk: Okay. First thing. We have to move. I'm gonna need you to come over here.
Dr. Kroger: Okay.
[Dr. Kroger and Monk shuffle in their chairs, swapping position]
Dr. Kroger: Now what?
Adrian Monk: What do you mean?
Dr. Kroger: What's the plan?
Adrian Monk: I don't have a plan.
Dr. Kroger: Why did you have me switch places?
Adrian Monk: I always sit on this side. I've been thinking a lot about my brother lately...
Dr. Kroger: No, no, Adrian. This is not a session.

Dr. Kroger: Adrian. Adrian, I can't invite you in.
Adrian Monk: It's just... I'm thirsty. I'm parched, really.
Dr. Kroger: Adrian, you can't come in. It's really inappropriate.
Adrian Monk: Isn't it?
Dr. Kroger: Adrian, you've got to let go.
Adrian Monk: It's not easy. I've been seeing you for almost nine years.
Dr. Kroger: No, I mean, you've got to let go of the door.
Adrian Monk: Oh. Yeah.
Dr. Kroger: Adrian, I promise you, I will find you another doctor as soon as I can. That's good. That's good. Two Two two more fingers. Go on, good. Go, go, go. Come on, that's very good. Great. [door closes]

Adrian Monk: Wait. Excuse me. [adjusts the chair] This belongs right here.
Crime Scene Tech: How do you know?
Adrian Monk: Because it's my chair. What's all this?
Crime Scene Tech: I'm checking for prints.
Adrian Monk: Captain. Uh, Cap. Leland, sir. Leland. Can we get somebody to dust this chair?
Crime Scene Tech: I just dusted it.
Adrian Monk: No, I mean dust it. Dust dust it. Dust the dust.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Macy, when you're done, make sure that the chair is clean.

Adrian Monk: And I've been thinking about Natalie. I've become so dependent on her. Too dependent. I don't know what I'm gonna do if she leaves. I mean, I should say "when she leaves," because it's just a matter of time. She's gonna die, or find another job. Either way, I'm screwed.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, I don't really feel comfortable about this.
Adrian Monk: Well, it's Monday morning, 9:00 AM. I have to talk to somebody.
Natalie: Okay, but you cannot talk about me. Okay? I'm off limits.
Adrian Monk: Fine. So, when I was 12, my mother decided to go back to work. She said it was only part time, but she was gone almost every night.
Natalie: Mmm, that's hard. I know. I remember when my mother started to do volunteer work. It was so difficult-
Adrian Monk: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?
Natalie: I'm just talking.
Adrian Monk: That's not how it works. Nobody cares about your problems.