Adrian Monk: But he's going back as soon as I clear his name. All I ever wanted, since I was a boy, was a real family. I used to pray for it.
Dr. Bell: I hate to break the news to you, Adrian, but you already have a real family. In a lot of ways, your situation is typical. I've seen it quite often.
Adrian Monk: There's a four-state dragnet out on my brother. You get that a lot?
Dr. Bell: Now, th- These are fundamental questions. People have been asking them for ages, all the way back to Cain and Abel. "What do I owe my family? What do I owe my brother? What is my obligation?"

Jack Monk, Jr.: Adrian, no, no, wait! Think about it! I could be halfway to Paraguay right now but I'm not. I'm here. I came to you! What does that tell you?
Adrian Monk: That you're an unstable person and that you belong in prison.
Jack Monk, Jr.: No, that I need your help. Come on, I didn't kill that woman! I crawled through the sewer. When I got to the parking lot she was already dead.
Adrian Monk: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Go back. You crawled through the what-what?
Jack Monk, Jr.: I crawled through the sewer. That's how I escaped.
Adrian Monk: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Go back. You crawled through the what?
Jack Monk, Jr.: The sewer?
Adrian Monk: Wait. Go back.

Adrian Monk: See, sometimes he's not really so bad. Last night, we were watching this old horror movie and talking about our dad and Paraguay... And I was feeling.
Dr. Bell: Paraguay?
Adrian Monk: Yeah, he's obsessed with Paraguay. He's been reading all about it...
Dr. Bell: Uh-oh.
Adrian Monk: Uh-oh, what?
Dr. Bell: Adrian, I've been doing some workshops in local prisons, and Paraguay is considered the promised land.
Adrian Monk: Really?
Dr. Bell: Because of their new extradition laws. They won't extradite anyone. Unless he's been indicted for murder.

Adrian Monk: What happened? The shower stopped.
Jack Monk, Jr.: [o.s.] You ran out of hot water.
Adrian Monk: No, no, no. Keep washing.
Jack Monk, Jr.: I'm freezin'!
Adrian Monk: Keep, keep washing.

Captain Stottlemeyer: Hey, Monk, who's your friend?
Adrian Monk: Oh, that's my pen pal.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Pen pal? I didn't know people still did that. Hey, you guys even dress alike. Where's he from?
Adrian Monk: Canada. East Canada.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What's his name?
Adrian Monk: Jack. Gretzky.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Really? Any relation?
Adrian Monk: Why would you say that? We don't- We don't even look alike.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, not to you, to Wayne Gretzky, the hockey player.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You okay?
Adrian Monk: Yeah, I'm- I'm fine. Let's just see what there is to see, and then we can all go home in separate cars.

Adrian Monk: Jack, was he a good father?
Jack Monk, Jr.: Look at us. What do you think?
Adrian Monk: Was he terrible?
Jack Monk, Jr.: Look at us. What do you think? We got robbed, brother.

Captain Stottlemeyer: What the hell is going on? Are you okay?
Adrian Monk: Yeah. Sorry, it was a false alarm.
Captain Stottlemeyer: False alarm.
Adrian Monk: Yeah. I thought I heard a prowler, but it was just Jack. I forgot he was staying here.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Wait. You forgot that you had a house guest? You? [to Jack] Are you crying?
Jack Monk, Jr.: Yeah, a little. I mean, how would you feel if your pen pal thought you were a prowler?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Okay. I'm going home. If I can get back in bed in 20 minutes, there's a chance I won't remember any of this.

Lieutenant Disher: All right, Jack, time to go.
Adrian Monk: Jack, listen, I just want to say I'm proud of what you did. And I'm proud you're my brother.
Jack Monk, Jr.: You mean half brother.
Adrian Monk: I'm rounding up. [goes to hug Jack] Excuse me. Sneak in here a minute. Sorry.
Jack Monk, Jr.: Thank you.
[Jack is led to the prisoner transport van by two officers]
Adrian Monk: Jack. [waves]
[As the prisoner transport van drives away:]
Natalie: What are you looking for?
Lieutenant Disher: Think I left my handcuff keys in my other coat.

Adrian Monk: Don't move!
Jack Monk, Jr.: Hey, man, that really hurt!
Adrian Monk: Don't make a move! There's gun in here!
Jack Monk, Jr.: Adr-
Adrian Monk: I said don't move!
Jack Monk, Jr.: I didn't move.
Adrian Monk: There's a gun in here. Take my word for it.
Jack Monk, Jr.: Where are ya going? Hey Adr- Wait who you calling?
Adrian Monk: Who do you think I'm calling?
Jack Monk, Jr.: Oh, you don't wanna call the cops, man.
Adrian Monk: I don't?
Jack Monk, Jr.: No, come on, put the phone down! And the gun.
Adrian Monk: Give me one good reason.
Jack Monk, Jr.: I'm your brother!

Adrian Monk: You're my...
Jack Monk, Jr.: I'm Jack Junior. I'm your brother. Well, technically, I'm your half brother. So you could say I'm rounding up. Why dad must have told you about me. Right? I mean, I can't imagine what he said, but as you can see, it's pretty much true. [Monk dials the phone]
Operator: [on line] 911. What is your emergency?
Jack Monk, Jr.: Come on, man, gimme a chance, okay? I'm your brother. I'm family.
Adrian Monk: Family?
Jack Monk, Jr.: Yeah. Can't you feel it?
Adrian Monk: No.