Captain Stottlemeyer Quote #167
Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer in Mr. Monk and the Election
Captain Stottlemeyer: Disher told me that you put the grenade in the refrigerator.
Adrian Monk: Yeah.
Captain Stottlemeyer: And then he said you went back and opened it again. You just had to straighten something out, didn't you? I'm gonna ask the Mayor to give you a medal for what you did. And then I'm gonna ask the Mayor to take that medal back. Because you just had to open that door, didn't you?
Adrian Monk: So it's a wash?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, it's a wash.
‘Mr. Monk and the Election’ Quotes
Quote from Harold Krenshaw
Adrian Monk: What are you- What are you doing?
Captain Stottlemeyer: I'm eating a doughnut. It's food.
Adrian Monk: W- Why that one?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Because I like the coconut.
Harold Krenshaw: Now you have to eat a sugar one.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I don't want a sugar one.
Adrian Monk: Or you could take three more coconuts and two chocolate.
Harold Krenshaw: Or one coconut and two glazed.
Adrian Monk: Or you could just eat them all. That would probably be easier, huh?
Harold Krenshaw: That's a good idea.
Adrian Monk: Probably be easiest.
Harold Krenshaw: Yeah.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Or I could do this. [squishes box] There. Now there's one doughnut. One big damn doughnut.
Adrian Monk: [to Harold] You see what you did?
Quote from Harold Krenshaw
Captain Stottlemeyer: Could we get back to this? Mr. Krenshaw, where were you at 10:30 this morning?
Harold Krenshaw: I was at Dr. Kroger's office. I had my my appointment.
Adrian Monk: Your appointment ends at 10:00.
Harold Krenshaw: It was a double session.
Adrian Monk: [whispers to Stottlemeyer] Dr. Kroger doesn't do double sessions anymore. I'm just telling you.
Harold Krenshaw: He made an exception for me. If you don't believe me, call him. Do you want his beeper number?
Adrian Monk: I have his beeper number, okay?
Harold Krenshaw: Well, if that doesn't work, try his cell phone.
Adrian Monk: He gave you his cell phone number?
Harold Krenshaw: Mmm-hmm.
Adrian Monk: That's a lie. He's lying, Captain.
Harold Krenshaw: Hmm.
Adrian Monk: 'Cause Dr. Kroger would never give anybody his cell phone number, ever. Not ever.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, I really don't care.
Harold Krenshaw: I've been to his home.
Adrian Monk: Have you no shame?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Excuse me. A man died today.
Harold Krenshaw: I met his daughter.
Adrian Monk: Liar! Liar!
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: Captain, captain, it's not me, is it? Am I? Just tell me, am l... Am I that guy? Am l am I that far gone?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Relax, Monk, you are completely different. You put the chocolate doughnuts in the middle, which makes perfect sense, because that way the different groups are together.
Adrian Monk: Exactly! That's all I'm saying.
Captain Stottlemeyer: And he put the chocolate donuts on either end, which j-just isn't as good, because that way, they're they're separated.
Adrian Monk: Hello!
Captain Stottlemeyer: No comparison.
Adrian Monk: I told you. He will he will drive you crazy.
Lieutenant Disher: So, is he the guy?
Adrian Monk: Uh, no. I wish he was, but he's not the guy. He never would have misspelled Natalie's name on the note.
Captain Stottlemeyer: How do you know?
Adrian Monk: Because... Because I wouldn't have.