Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘Mr. Monk and the Psychic’ Quotes

Monk: Mr. Monk and the Psychic

103. Mr. Monk and the Psychic

Aired July 19, 2002

Monk can't believe it when a psychic is the first to discover the car wreck of a former police comissioner's wife.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk doesn't believe in psychics.
Adrian Monk: I believe in what I can see. I believe in what's in front of me.
Sharona: You know how I found out that my ex was still seeing his old girlfriend?
Adrian Monk: Please, tell us.
Sharona: A psychic told me. And that's a true story, and it was the best 35 bucks I ever spent.
Adrian Monk: Thirty-five bucks?
Captain Stottlemeyer: There have been cases documented cases where psychics have found missing kids, bodies. It happens.
Adrian Monk: Of course it happens! A thousand psychics making 10,000 predictions a year, two or three of them have to be right.

Rate

Quote from Sharona

Sharona: You can tell all that from the bumps in my head?
Dolly Flint: It's called phrenology. See, the shape of your head is like a spiritual road map. You just have to know how to read it.
Sharona: Feels good.
Dolly Flint: Shh. Okay. There's a young man in your life.
Sharona: That would be my son. His name's Benjy.
Dolly Flint: Oh. And another man. He's not young, but he's he's like a child.
Sharona: That would be my boss.

Quote from Sharona

Sharona: Dolly? Dolly, what does he do, like, for a living? He has a job, right?
Adrian Monk: Sharona, please, please.
Sharona: What?
Adrian Monk: I'm- I'm working here. I'm working here. [Sharona licks Monk's hand] What did you do? Are you insane? I need I need a wipe.
Sharona: In the car.
Adrian Monk: Don't do this to me. Give me a wipe here.
Sharona: Go to the car and get the wipes. Go to the car.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Sharona: How did you know she was a fake?
Adrian Monk: Who? Dolly? Dolly Flint? They're all fakes. You gotta be a little skeptical, Sharona, otherwise, you end up believing in everything U.F.O.s, elves, income tax rebates.
Sharona: Well, it's better than believing in nothing. I feel sorry for you.
Adrian Monk: Thank you.

Quote from Sharona

Sharona: Adrian, don't you want a closer look?
Adrian Monk: No, l-I can see from here.
Sharona: Would you like us to move the crash site a little closer to you?
Adrian Monk: No, I'm fine.

Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer

Captain Stottlemeyer: Oh, I'm sorry. I thought this was my office. Yeah, see, I'm confused because my name is on the door.
Adrian Monk: Don't- Don't blame Sharona, Captain.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I have no intention of blaming Sharona.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Sharona: What are you doing? You can't look through people's mail.
Adrian Monk: I'm not stealing anything. I'm just combing through. I don't wanna live in a world where a person can't comb through another person's mail.

Quote from Sharona

Adrian Monk: [after awkward silence] I agree, Jennifer. He did waste the best five years of your life.
Jennifer Zepetelli: How did you know what I was thinking?
Adrian Monk: You were looking at the empty bottles of Beaujolais. They're dated, one for each of the last five years. They obviously represent anniversaries. And I saw you feel your ring finger, which doesn't have a ring.
Jennifer Zepetelli: Are you a psychic, Mr. Monk? [Monk scoffs]
Sharona: He is a psychic who doesn't believe in psychics.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Sharona: Uh, Dolly? You said soon. You mean, like this week or next week?
Dolly Flint: Um, you know, I'd say before the next full moon.
Adrian Monk: I'm sorry, but, uh, uh, here on the planet Earth, there's a dead woman and somebody is responsible.
Dolly Flint: It was an accident, Mr. Monk. She drove off the highway.
Adrian Monk: Right. What exactly do you remember about that night?
Dolly Flint: Do you know what you are, Mr. Monk? You are, what we in the spiritual world call, a "buzz kill."
Adrian Monk: Thank you.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: Nobody move. Nobody move! [over p.a.] Hello. Hello. My name is Adrian Monk. I'm working with the police on a homicide investigation. There is a very valuable piece of evidence somewhere in this store. It's a small pebble. It's about the size of a small pebble. If you could all just just stop, please, and look around... [speaking] What- What- What are you doing?
Man: Sweeping up.
Adrian Monk: Okay, where's the rest of it?

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: Dolly, we're talking about premeditated, first-degree murder. I think Ashcombe killed his wife, and then recruited you to find the body. That's accessory after the fact, aiding and abetting these are very serious charges.
Dolly Flint: I am not a criminal.
Adrian Monk: I've seen your rap sheet. You're not exactly Mother Teresa.
Dolly Flint: That is just nickel-and-dime stuff. Come on. You wanna know the truth?
Adrian Monk: I'm not sure my heart could take it.
Dolly Flint: Come here. [whispers] Mr. Monk, when I woke up on that hill, I couldn't believe it myself. The truth is I'm a fake. [blows smoke] I never really had the gift. Don't tell the girl. I mean, I wanted it. I pretended to have it. Once in a while when I was a kid, I thought I actually did have it. But the only gift I had was telling people what they wanted to hear. And it was a sham my entire life. [Monk coughs] Until Tuesday. That was the real deal, Monk. I swear on my sainted mother's eyes, Mrs. Ashcombe led me to that car. [Monk coughs] I always wanted to help the cops, you know. Like really help them on a big case. And I did it! Maybe I'm just a late bloomer. Whatever the case, this time I am telling you the truth. What is wrong?
Adrian Monk: You want to know what's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong. I believe you.


 Previous Episode Next Episode 
  Select another episode