Harold Krenshaw Quotes Page 1 of 5

Quote from Mr. Monk Gets a New Shrink

Dr. Kroger: Relax, Harold. Just take it easy. You'll be okay. We're gonna get a doctor. We'll get a doctor.
Adrian Monk: How's he doing?
Dr. Kroger: He's gonna be okay. Did you see what he did? He took a bullet for me, Adrian.
Harold Krenshaw: Monk. Monk. Come here. Closer. [whispers] Beat that.

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Quote from Mr. Monk Goes to Group Therapy

Dr. Bell: All right, hold on here. Adrian was trying to warn us.
Harold Krenshaw: A classic cry for help. Or was it an attempt to divert suspicion? Hmm. Do you even have an alibi for Wednesday?
Adrian Monk: No.
Harold Krenshaw: How about when Barbara was killed? [Monk shakes his head] Of course you don't. Here's what happened. The HMO changed their policy, no more private sessions. You were desperate. You needed to kill one of us so there'd be an opening in the group. Do you deny it?
Adrian Monk: [stands up] Of course I deny it.
Harold Krenshaw: Which is exactly what a guilty man would say!
Adrian Monk: That's true.
Harold Krenshaw: Augie was next. You lured him up to the roof. It was easy. He trusted you. But I don't. You're planning to pick us off, one by one, until you have Neven all to yourself. He's the guy.
Dr. Bell: Harold, what you are suggesting is absurd. Adrian's not capable of killing anyone. Mr. Monk, you're not a killer.

Quote from Mr. Monk Fights City Hall

Harold Krenshaw: As you all know, we lost a dear friend this week. Eileen Hill's body was discovered earlier this morning. Let us pray that the San Francisco police catch her killer and bring him or her to justice. Or if they don't catch him, let us pray that Eileen's murder was the work of a random nut job, or frustrated ex-Boyfriend, and not some kind of a masked vigilante, who, for some reason, has a personal vendetta against the City Council, and is determined to slaughter us, one member at a time, picking us off when we least expect it, using a different, yet somehow appropriate method for each of his grisly killings. Amen.

Quote from Mr. Monk and the Election

Adrian Monk: What are you- What are you doing?
Captain Stottlemeyer: I'm eating a doughnut. It's food.
Adrian Monk: W- Why that one?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Because I like the coconut.
Harold Krenshaw: Now you have to eat a sugar one.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I don't want a sugar one.
Adrian Monk: Or you could take three more coconuts and two chocolate.
Harold Krenshaw: Or one coconut and two glazed.
Adrian Monk: Or you could just eat them all. That would probably be easier, huh?
Harold Krenshaw: That's a good idea.
Adrian Monk: Probably be easiest.
Harold Krenshaw: Yeah.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Or I could do this. [squishes box] There. Now there's one doughnut. One big damn doughnut.
Adrian Monk: [to Harold] You see what you did?

Quote from Mr. Monk and the Election

Captain Stottlemeyer: Could we get back to this? Mr. Krenshaw, where were you at 10:30 this morning?
Harold Krenshaw: I was at Dr. Kroger's office. I had my my appointment.
Adrian Monk: Your appointment ends at 10:00.
Harold Krenshaw: It was a double session.
Adrian Monk: [whispers to Stottlemeyer] Dr. Kroger doesn't do double sessions anymore. I'm just telling you.
Harold Krenshaw: He made an exception for me. If you don't believe me, call him. Do you want his beeper number?
Adrian Monk: I have his beeper number, okay?
Harold Krenshaw: Well, if that doesn't work, try his cell phone.
Adrian Monk: He gave you his cell phone number?
Harold Krenshaw: Mmm-hmm.
Adrian Monk: That's a lie. He's lying, Captain.
Harold Krenshaw: Hmm.
Adrian Monk: 'Cause Dr. Kroger would never give anybody his cell phone number, ever. Not ever.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, I really don't care.
Harold Krenshaw: I've been to his home.
Adrian Monk: Have you no shame?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Excuse me. A man died today.
Harold Krenshaw: I met his daughter.
Adrian Monk: Liar! Liar!

Quote from Mr. Monk's 100th Case

Harold Krenshaw: He hasn't solved 100 cases yet. For the record, he's still at 99. So let's not get ahead of ourselves.
James Novak: You sound a little competitive.
Harold Krenshaw: Sometimes I am a little too competitive. Yes, I own that. I was just talking about that with my new therapist. Monk and I both have new therapists. Mine's way better.

Quote from Mr. Monk Goes to Group Therapy

[Harold walks about the room with his hands held out front, just like Monk]
Adrian Monk: What in God's name are you doing?
Harold Krenshaw: Investigating.
Dr. Bell: Harold, please sit down.
Harold Krenshaw: Who had a motive a motive for murder? [turning to Monk] You did. You resent the group. Admit it, you want Neven all to yourself!
Adrian Monk: That's ridiculous.
Harold Krenshaw: Is it? Which of us would know how to commit a perfect crime without leaving a single clue? Who's the famous homicide expert?
Adrian Monk: I am.
Harold Krenshaw: And who's in the perfect position to steer the investigation away from himself?
Adrian Monk: Me.

Quote from Mr. Monk Goes to Group Therapy

Harold Krenshaw: Oh, no.
Adrian Monk: What?
Harold Krenshaw: That's Neven's house.
Adrian Monk: How do you know?
Harold Krenshaw: He had a cocktail party last summer.
Adrian Monk: And he invited you?
Harold Krenshaw: I didn't say that.
Adrian Monk: Okay, we- We have to find a phone and call the police.
Harold Krenshaw: There's not enough time. It takes the police 4 minutes and 20 seconds to get here. Don't ask.

Quote from Mr. Monk Goes to Group Therapy

Dr. Bell: And of course, you know Harold.
Harold Krenshaw: Hello, Adrian. I just want you to know, for the record, I'm glad you're here. And I don't feel threatened in the slightest. I know we haven't always seen eye to eye, but I hope we can put our differences aside and work with Neven together as a team. After all, it takes a village.
Adrian Monk: You call him Neven?
Harold Krenshaw: Mmm-hmm.
Dr. Bell: Well, things are a little less formal in group therapy.
Harold Krenshaw: [offers hand] Oh, you still can't shake hands. I see we have our work cut out for us.
Adrian Monk: I can shake hands. [shakes Harold's hand, then gets a wipe out]
Harold Krenshaw: Oh, I used to use a wipe too. Remember? I was so germophobic. I'd always have a wipe in my pocket, like this, and I'd wipe my hands, like this, and then I'd fold it up into a little square and put it in my other pocket, like this. [does so] I was pathetic.

Quote from Mr. Monk Goes to Group Therapy

Dr. Bell: Okay, now, you see, now, now, we all have problems.
Adrian Monk: You're just jealous. You've been jealous of me since the first day we met, which, by the way, I like to refer to as Black Tuesday.
Harold Krenshaw: Why would I be jealous of you?
Adrian Monk: Okay.
Harold Krenshaw: I made $210,000 last year. How much did you make?
Adrian Monk: $2 million.
Harold Krenshaw: Liar! He's lying. Admit it, Adrian. My success is killing you. It's eating you up.
Adrian Monk: What success?
Harold Krenshaw: I'm on the city council. People voted for me.
Adrian Monk: Because they don't know you! Did anybody here vote for this clown?
Rhonda: Not me.
Adrian Monk: Dr. Bell, you're in his district. Did you vote for him?
Dr. Bell: You not supposed to ask that question.
Adrian Monk: That's a no. See, Neven didn't vote for you, Harold. Suck on that.
Harold Krenshaw: I'm gonna rezone your whole neighborhood. I can do that!
Adrian Monk: Why don't you rezone your...
Harold Krenshaw: I'm gonna put a Kentucky Fried Chicken on your roof!
Dr. Bell: Stop it! Stop it, please!
Harold Krenshaw: I know where your roof is!

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