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‘Mr. Monk Is On The Run (Part One)’ Quotes

Monk: Mr. Monk Is On The Run (Part One)

615. Mr. Monk Is On The Run (Part One)

Aired February 15, 2008

Monk is accused of murder after a trail of new clues leads him to the man who killed Trudy.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Prosecutor: The bullet definitely came from his gun. It's been tested by two different laboratories.
Judge: Bail is set at $900,000.
[Monk confers with his lawyer]
Lawyer: With the court's permission, could you make it an even million?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Oh, my God!

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Quote from Lieutenant Disher

Lieutenant Disher: Hey, what's this?
Natalie: Uh, Mitch's old uniform. I was giving it to the Salvation Army. I figure it's time to move on.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, good for you. I've been saying that for three years, but... What's with the drill?
Natalie: Oh, oh, oh. My blender broke, and I was going to make a smoothie.
Lieutenant Disher: With a power drill?
Natalie: Yeah.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, don't let me stop you.
Natalie: You want one?
Lieutenant Disher: No, I actually had a protein shake at Home Depot on my way over.

Quote from Natalie

Natalie: [drinks "smoothie"] Mmm. Mmm. Yeah, that's just what I needed.
Lieutenant Disher: Is that oil?
Natalie: That is oil. It's- It's from the ground, so it's organic. And it just lubricates your organs. So it's, it's good. I just- Just need to wash up. I'll be right back. You can have it.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Warehouse Supervisor: Excuse me. Can I help you? Captain Teeger.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, I'm- I'm just looking.
Warehouse Supervisor: Storeroom's around back. This is just the warehouse. My boy's a Navy pilot too.
Adrian Monk: Good, good. Really?
Warehouse Supervisor: He's down in Charleston with the 725th tactical missile squad.
Adrian Monk: Oh, good for him. That- That's a good choice.
Warehouse Supervisor: Yeah, it really wasn't his choice. What unit you with?
Adrian Monk: All of 'em. They move me around a lot. 'cause, I'm a hero. All the kids, the recruits, they wanna meet me, photo op...

Quote from Lieutenant Disher

Sheriff Rollins: Anything on those credit cards?
Detective: No, sir.
Sheriff Rollins: Make sure the hotel rooms are covered. Double-team the bus stations and the airport.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, he's not going to the airport. Monk's afraid to fly.
Sheriff Rollins: Well, maybe he figures we assume he won't fly, so he heads to the airport.
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, or maybe he knows we assume that he thinks he... He thinks he knows what... He's...
He knows that we're... No, wait... I'll write it down.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Lawyer: Your Honor, my client is not a flight risk. He's a former police officer. He served the city of San Francisco honorably for 14 years. He still has friends in the department, some of whom are here today. I should also point out that, even if he wanted to flee, my client doesn't drive. He also has an obsessive fear of airplanes and boats. And trucks. And trains. He's not going anywhere.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Natalie: It's a good show, Mr. Monk. Very old-fashioned. No sex or anything. I- I think you'd like it.
Adrian Monk: No, thank you.
Natalie: Why, because it's on channel 11?
Adrian Monk: That's right.
Natalie: But you'd watch it if was on channel 10.
Adrian Monk: That's right.
Natalie: Okay, well, let's just say that you're flipping through the channels, and you see a show that you really like, and it just happens to be on channel 23.
Adrian Monk: Why would I be flipping channels? If it's a good show, it's on channel 10.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Captain Stottlemeyer: We found this by the front door.
Lieutenant Disher: It was, folded up. The guy who broke in must have dropped it.
Natalie: "To force heaven, mars shall have a new angel."
Adrian Monk: Some kind of code. Is that it?
Captain Stottlemeyer: That's just an appetizer. Apparently this guy had a grocery list. He took a couple of cell phones, a flashlight bulb, some waterproof sealant, and some braided copper wire.
Adrian Monk: Okay he's making a bomb, remote control.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I'm not done. He also took ten 20-volt magnesium batteries. In 20 years, I've only seen one other bomb like that.
Adrian Monk: Trudy?
Lieutenant Disher: He used this to pry open the door.
Natalie: It's just a crowbar.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Look at the fingerprints.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Thumb, index finger, middle finger, ring finger, Pinky.
Natalie: Six fingers?

Quote from Natalie

Natalie: "To force heaven, mars shall have a new angel." Okay. Let's just review what we know. So the page was torn out of some kind of appointment book. It's March 14th, which is today. So something is going to happen tonight at 11 p.m.
Adrian Monk: Now, let's review what we don't know. Everything else! What's going to happen? Where is it happening? Who is involved?
Natalie: I've been working on that. I bought a book last night on code breaking.
Adrian Monk: Oh, you bought a book?! Case solved.
Natalie: It's called a simple substitution code. "A" equals one. "B" equals two. When you add them all up, you get 358.
Adrian Monk: 358. Which doesn't help us at all. Thank you.
Natalie: Okay now, let's just think. Let's just think. Mars. The planet? No, the God of war. Maybe it's part of a poem. You know? Like a really dreadful poem.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Sheriff Rollins: Sheriff's department! Drop that weapon. I'm not askin' twice! That's a good boy. Now, with your foot, slide the gun away, nice and easy. You're doin' good. Kiss the floor.
Adrian Monk: Uh, see... That's something, if you knew me... Kissing the floor.
Sheriff Rollins: You know, I'd really love to chat with you, pal. I would. Right now, I need you face down on the floor. This is Rollins, 247 Marshall. Get everybody down here. I need crime scene unit and a meat wagon. Suspect is in custody. You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to an attorney. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

Quote from Lieutenant Disher

Lieutenant Disher: Hello? Hello? Natalie? It's Randy. You know, your front door was open.
Natalie: [o.s.] Do you wanna take a bath?
Lieutenant Disher: Bath? No, thanks. Hey, you greet all your guests that way? I'm surprised you're not a lot more popular. Well, so, Rollins figures Monk is heading back here. He thinks he's gonna try and get in contact with you. So, I'm supposed to be staking out the place. You haven't heard from him, have you?
Natalie: No.
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, I didn't think so. You know, I tried to tell Rollins Monk is too smart to come back here. But nobody listens to me.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Natalie: Mitch's uniform. It's all that I had.
Adrian Monk: No, I can't wear that.
Natalie: Mr. Monk. He'd want you to.
Adrian Monk: No, I mean it's all dusty.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, you were wearing a hobo's trench coat.
Adrian Monk: Okay.

Quote from Natalie

Natalie: Take these.
Adrian Monk: Kleenex?
Natalie: They're antiviral. It's a sick world out there.
Adrian Monk: Natalie, thank you.
Natalie: Know how you can thank me? Figure out what happened. Come home.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Warehouse Supervisor: Normally, we don't let people poke around back here. Especially now we had a break-in last week.
Adrian Monk: Really?
Warehouse Supervisor: A guy got shot.
Adrian Monk: No kidding.
Warehouse Supervisor: Right over there. It was like the O.K. Corral. Why don't you look around. You see anything you like, talk to me. I'll take care of you. Aim high, fly high. Am I right?
Adrian Monk: Ab- Absolutely. Aiming and flying. That's what we do. Maybe- Maybe I will just take a look around then.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Captain Stottlemeyer: [answers phone] Stottlemeyer.
Adrian Monk: Leland, it's me.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, thank God. Are you okay?
Adrian Monk: Leland, I know who set me up. It was that Sheriff.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Rollins? Why?
Adrian Monk: I don't know why. I can't figure that out. But I know how.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Okay, okay, how? How is good. Let's start with how.
Adrian Monk: Okay, I had some orange juice in my refrigerator.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Okay.
Adrian Monk: Somebody drank from it. I thought it was Natalie.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, we haven't got a lot of time here.
Adrian Monk: I'm talking about Rollins. It was him. He's always drinking juice. I heard him talking about it. Leland, here's what happened. He broke into my house the day before the shooting.
Captain Stottlemeyer: And raided your refrigerator?
Adrian Monk: That's right. Then he drank some orange juice. About four ounces. Then he found my handgun.
Captain Stottlemeyer: He switched guns?
Adrian Monk: Not the whole gun, just the barrel. My gun's a Lane & Westing.
Captain Stottlemeyer: The barrels are interchangeable.
Adrian Monk: Right, he used the six-fingered man's prints and the note to lure me to the sculpture garden. He was hiding there, about 50 feet behind me. He waited for me to pull my gun, and then he took the shot. He told me to lie on the ground face down. That's probably when he did it.
Captain Stottlemeyer: He switched them back. So when the lab said the bullet came from your gun...
Adrian Monk: They were right. It was my gun. Atl east part of it.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Okay, can you prove it? Do you have anything else?
Adrian Monk: Okay. Leland, are you sitting down? I have a plastic tab from a juice container.
Captain Stottlemeyer: D- Do you have any fingerprints?
Adrian Monk: Fingerprints? No. No. That's not enough, is it?
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, it's not enough!


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