Prosecutor: The bullet definitely came from his gun. It's been tested by two different laboratories.
Judge: Bail is set at $900,000.
[Monk confers with his lawyer]
Lawyer: With the court's permission, could you make it an even million?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Oh, my God!

Natalie: [drinks "smoothie"] Mmm. Mmm. Yeah, that's just what I needed.
Lieutenant Disher: Is that oil?
Natalie: That is oil. It's- It's from the ground, so it's organic. And it just lubricates your organs. So it's, it's good. I just- Just need to wash up. I'll be right back. You can have it.

Lieutenant Disher: Hey, what's this?
Natalie: Uh, Mitch's old uniform. I was giving it to the Salvation Army. I figure it's time to move on.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, good for you. I've been saying that for three years, but... What's with the drill?
Natalie: Oh, oh, oh. My blender broke, and I was going to make a smoothie.
Lieutenant Disher: With a power drill?
Natalie: Yeah.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, don't let me stop you.
Natalie: You want one?
Lieutenant Disher: No, I actually had a protein shake at Home Depot on my way over.

Warehouse Supervisor: Excuse me. Can I help you? Captain Teeger.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, I'm- I'm just looking.
Warehouse Supervisor: Storeroom's around back. This is just the warehouse. My boy's a Navy pilot too.
Adrian Monk: Good, good. Really?
Warehouse Supervisor: He's down in Charleston with the 725th tactical missile squad.
Adrian Monk: Oh, good for him. That- That's a good choice.
Warehouse Supervisor: Yeah, it really wasn't his choice. What unit you with?
Adrian Monk: All of 'em. They move me around a lot. 'cause, I'm a hero. All the kids, the recruits, they wanna meet me, photo op...

Sheriff Rollins: Anything on those credit cards?
Detective: No, sir.
Sheriff Rollins: Make sure the hotel rooms are covered. Double-team the bus stations and the airport.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, he's not going to the airport. Monk's afraid to fly.
Sheriff Rollins: Well, maybe he figures we assume he won't fly, so he heads to the airport.
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, or maybe he knows we assume that he thinks he... He thinks he knows what... He's...
He knows that we're... No, wait... I'll write it down.

Lawyer: Your Honor, my client is not a flight risk. He's a former police officer. He served the city of San Francisco honorably for 14 years. He still has friends in the department, some of whom are here today. I should also point out that, even if he wanted to flee, my client doesn't drive. He also has an obsessive fear of airplanes and boats. And trucks. And trains. He's not going anywhere.

Natalie: "To force heaven, mars shall have a new angel." Okay. Let's just review what we know. So the page was torn out of some kind of appointment book. It's March 14th, which is today. So something is going to happen tonight at 11 p.m.
Adrian Monk: Now, let's review what we don't know. Everything else! What's going to happen? Where is it happening? Who is involved?
Natalie: I've been working on that. I bought a book last night on code breaking.
Adrian Monk: Oh, you bought a book?! Case solved.
Natalie: It's called a simple substitution code. "A" equals one. "B" equals two. When you add them all up, you get 358.
Adrian Monk: 358. Which doesn't help us at all. Thank you.
Natalie: Okay now, let's just think. Let's just think. Mars. The planet? No, the God of war. Maybe it's part of a poem. You know? Like a really dreadful poem.

Natalie: Take these.
Adrian Monk: Kleenex?
Natalie: They're antiviral. It's a sick world out there.
Adrian Monk: Natalie, thank you.
Natalie: Know how you can thank me? Figure out what happened. Come home.

Natalie: It's a good show, Mr. Monk. Very old-fashioned. No sex or anything. I- I think you'd like it.
Adrian Monk: No, thank you.
Natalie: Why, because it's on channel 11?
Adrian Monk: That's right.
Natalie: But you'd watch it if was on channel 10.
Adrian Monk: That's right.
Natalie: Okay, well, let's just say that you're flipping through the channels, and you see a show that you really like, and it just happens to be on channel 23.
Adrian Monk: Why would I be flipping channels? If it's a good show, it's on channel 10.

Captain Stottlemeyer: We found this by the front door.
Lieutenant Disher: It was, folded up. The guy who broke in must have dropped it.
Natalie: "To force heaven, mars shall have a new angel."
Adrian Monk: Some kind of code. Is that it?
Captain Stottlemeyer: That's just an appetizer. Apparently this guy had a grocery list. He took a couple of cell phones, a flashlight bulb, some waterproof sealant, and some braided copper wire.
Adrian Monk: Okay he's making a bomb, remote control.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I'm not done. He also took ten 20-volt magnesium batteries. In 20 years, I've only seen one other bomb like that.
Adrian Monk: Trudy?
Lieutenant Disher: He used this to pry open the door.
Natalie: It's just a crowbar.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Look at the fingerprints.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Thumb, index finger, middle finger, ring finger, Pinky.
Natalie: Six fingers?