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‘Mr. Monk and Mrs. Monk’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Monk: Mr. Monk and Mrs. Monk

406. Mr. Monk and Mrs. Monk

Aired August 12, 2005

Natalie is stunned when she comes face-to-face with Monk's late wife Trudy.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Natalie: Trudy's desk?
Adrian Monk: For five years. She loved this job. I did that. I was leaning in to kiss her, spilled some coffee.
Natalie: I'll bet it was the last time you spilled anything in your life.
Adrian Monk: I spilled something seven years later, January 12, 1999.
Natalie: January 12? You mean during the earthquake?
Adrian Monk: Earthquakes count. I don't make the rules.

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Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: [at Trudy's grave] She's not you. It's not you. [to a woman at another grave] Hey, how you doing?
Woman: Hi.
Adrian Monk: My wife is buried back there. She's still dead. She's right where I left her.
Woman: Okay.
Adrian Monk: I am so relieved. I mean, I love her with all my heart but... Who is this?
Woman: This is my husband.
Adrian Monk: Oh, I'm sure he's dead too. And he'll stay dead. Don't worry about that. This is an excellent cemetery. They know what they're doing. Yeah, everybody here. Probably dead. Nice talking to you.

Quote from Lieutenant Disher

Lieutenant Disher: If we were both drowning, who would you save?
Captain Stottlemeyer: I don't know. Both of you.
Lieutenant Disher: No, if you could only save one of us.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, I'd probably save Monk because he can't swim and I happen to know you're an excellent swimmer.
Lieutenant Disher: Suppose I was holding an anchor.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You're holding an anchor?
Lieutenant Disher: Uh-huh. Who would you save then?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, why don't you let go of the anchor?
Lieutenant Disher: It's a family heirloom.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I'm leaving.

Quote from Dr. Kroger

Adrian Monk: What do you think?
Dr. Kroger: What do you think?
Adrian Monk: Every time I say, "what do you think?", You say, "what do you think?".
Dr. Kroger: Well, what do you think?
Adrian Monk: I'm almost afraid to say it. I think I might be getting better.
Dr. Kroger: Adrian, reading the poem, the reaction you had to it, it's what we call a threshold event. [getting emotional] It's a big first step. First steps are the hardest.
Adrian Monk: Are you okay?
Dr. Kroger: Yeah, yeah, just, um it's been, like, such a long time that I've been waiting. [Monk hands him a tissue] Oh, thank you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm crying. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. This doesn't make you uncomfortable?
Adrian Monk: Yes, it does. But what doesn't?

Quote from Kevin Dorfman

Natalie: Mr. Monk?
Adrian Monk: Yeah?
Natalie: I spoke with Julie's doctor today. He said she might be allergic to fish.
Kevin Dorfman: Oh, poor kid.
Adrian Monk: Yeah.
Natalie: Do you know anybody else who's allergic to fish?
Kevin Dorfman: I think the man who lives across the street from my sister is allergic to fish. Not right across the street. Actually, you know what? It's not even really a street. It's more of a cul-de-sac.
Natalie: That's great, Kevin. How about you, Mr. Monk?
Adrian Monk: No. Well, Trudy was.

Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer

Captain Stottlemeyer: You know, the commissioner asked me what I thought about bringing you back on a contingency basis. I told him I thought we should try it.
Adrian Monk: Captain...
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, don't say anything. We'll take it one day at a time, okay?
Adrian Monk: [walks off] Excuse me.
[As Monk walks off, Disher stands behind Stottlemeyer on his right]
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, listen. There's a there's a few things that I should say that I don't. I mean I've been working on a few things myself. Well, you're not perfect, God knows, but you're still probably the best cop I've ever met. And working with you has been one of the great honors of my life. You're the man. And I mean that. [looks to the left for Monk]
Lieutenant Disher: Right back at you, sir. I love you, man.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, I love you, too.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Lieutenant Disher: Look at this. It's her mug, lipstick.
Adrian Monk: Oh, yes. Cinnamon, to sweeten the coffee. Trudy used to do that. Is this the victim?
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, his name's Zach Ellinghouse.
Adrian Monk: Oh, no. I knew him. Ellinghouse, Natalie. You were just asking me about him. Captain, his daughter, Janice, used to work with my Trudy.
Lieutenant Disher: It's weird you keep mentioning Trudy. There was a witness who heard a struggle.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Uh, Lieutenant. Let me, let me...
Adrian Monk: "Witness distinctly heard victim say, 'What are you doing, Trudy?'" Trudy. That was Trudy's name.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Natalie: Mr. Monk, they're gonna see you! What are you doing? Get down!
Adrian Monk: I had her back. For an hour and a half. I thought she might be alive. I had hope. Isn't hope the worst?
Natalie: No, Mr. Monk. Hope is a good thing.
Adrian Monk: You're very young.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Natalie: Well, I think it stinks.
Adrian Monk: What stinks?
Natalie: The department deciding not to reinstate you. They didn't even give you a chance.
Adrian Monk: You can't really blame them. After what happened, I'm kind of back to...
Natalie: What, normal?
Adrian Monk: Well, it's a kind of normal.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: Excuse me. It's 2 o'clock.
Receptionist: The doctor's just running a little late.
Adrian Monk: Okay. No problem. How late is he running? Did he say?
Receptionist: Just a few minutes. It won't be long.
Adrian Monk: Listen, does he, does he know I'm here? Maybe I could just pop in and tell him.
Receptionist: I don't think that's such a good idea, Mr. Monk.
Adrian Monk: No.
Receptionist: Where's Natalie?
Adrian Monk: She's out. She's running some errands.
Receptionist: Would you like to call her? Let's call her.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Natalie: [answers phone] Hello, Mr. Monk.
Adrian Monk: Natalie, it's me. Adrian, you know, Monk.
Natalie: Yes, Mr. Monk, I know.
Adrian Monk: Dr. Kroger is running late.
Natalie: Then you'll have something to talk about, won't you? Do you need me to come over? I'm five minutes away.
Adrian Monk: Where are you?
Natalie: I don't even know. I'm at some coffee shop.
Adrian Monk: Did you find that toothbrush?
Natalie: Yes, sir. Had to go to about five drugstores, but I found it.
Adrian Monk: [hushed] The Gertler 4000 with the extra-soft polyurethane bristles?
Natalie: Yes, and the blue rubber handle. Yes, sir.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Dr. Kroger: Adrian, I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. Maggie said that you were getting a little anxious out there.
Adrian Monk: Oh, that's true. I'm pretty excited. I have some news.
Dr. Kroger: Really?
Adrian Monk: As you know, yesterday was Trudy's birthday. I went to the grave. Then I came home and I re-read some of her poems. There was this one passage that really got to me. I, I, I, I just kept re-reading it. It goes, "The snows that burn away, like tears of God, reveal the world anew. We are reborn. Nothing is lost forever."
Dr. Kroger: That's beautiful.
Adrian Monk: Yes.
Dr. Kroger: I mean, nothing is lost forever.
Adrian Monk: It was as if she was speaking to me. Like she was saying, I'm here without her for a reason. I think I think she wants me to let go.
Dr. Kroger: Wow.
Adrian Monk: I know. Wow!

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: And then yesterday, the radio was playing a song. But it wasn't the radio.
Dr. Kroger: It wasn't the radio?
Adrian Monk: [sings] There are chicks just right for some kissing and I mean to kiss me a few You know what it was? It was me. It was me. I was singing. I think I'm happy. Is that possible?
Dr. Kroger: Why not? It's so long overdue.
Adrian Monk: Happy!
Dr. Kroger: Yes!
Adrian Monk: I'm happy.
Dr. Kroger: Yes, yes.
Adrian Monk: Then this morning, I looked up. There was a picture on the wall, it was a little crooked. I just kept eating. I didn't get up and fix it.
Dr. Kroger: I know because the glass here on the table, you still haven't put it back on the coaster.

Quote from Kevin Dorfman

Adrian Monk: [sings] There is wine all ready for tasting
Kevin Dorfman: A little mayonnaise. Some lemon juice. A little salt, just a pinch. Just a sprinkle.
Adrian Monk: Oh, Kevin, I really appreciate this.
Kevin Dorfman: Oh, stop. This is what neighbors are for. Is that enough? How many people are coming?
Adrian Monk: Uh, I don't know. The captain has this barbecue every year, but I never felt like going before.
Kevin Dorfman: Oh, so this is like your coming-out party?

Quote from Kevin Dorfman

Adrian Monk: Oh, I didn't tell you the best part. Here's the best part. Dr. Kroger is gonnna call the department and recommend me for reinstatement.
Kevin Dorfman: That's- That is- Congratulations.
Adrian Monk: Hey, I know. Later, let's get my old uniform down and see if it fits.
Kevin Dorfman: I'll tell you something. It's not gonna fit if you eat too much of this. It's never gonna fit. [Kevin & Monk laugh]

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