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‘Mr. Monk Goes to Group Therapy’ Quotes Page 1 of 5    

Monk: Mr. Monk Goes to Group Therapy

808. Mr. Monk Goes to Group Therapy

Aired October 9, 2009

After Monk's insurer alters their coverage, he is forced to attend Dr. Bell's group therapy session as they deal with the loss of one of their members.

Quote from Lieutenant Disher

Natalie: So it was suicide?
Adrian Monk: I don't think so. Look at his wrists. Hair has been pulled out. Someone taped them. He was tied up.
Lieutenant Disher: Could be a serial killer. He's killing people according to their phobias. This guy was afraid of heights, so he pushed him off the roof.
Adrian Monk: Augie wasn't afraid of heights. He was afraid of spiders.
Lieutenant Disher: That's different. It's killing people using the opposite of their phobias. The Opposite Killer.
Captain Stottlemeyer: So you're saying the opposite of a spider is a tall building?
Lieutenant Disher: What do you think the opposite of a spider is?
Captain Stottlemeyer: I have no idea, but it's not a tall building.
Lieutenant Disher: Mmm. Tell that to the Opposite Killer.
Natalie: Are you crying?
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, I have allergies.

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Quote from Lieutenant Disher

Adrian Monk: Where's the towel? There's no towel next to the pool. I wouldn't go swimming first thing in the morning in October without a towel. I mean, I wouldn't go swimming anyway, but you see what I mean. I think she was killed.
Lieutenant Disher: Let me guess. The victim was not afraid of water. It's him, The Opposite Killer. That's his M.O.
Captain Stottlemeyer: There is no Opposite Killer. If there were, you would have been killed by a falling rocket scientist years ago.

Quote from Harold Krenshaw

Dr. Bell: All right, hold on here. Adrian was trying to warn us.
Harold Krenshaw: A classic cry for help. Or was it an attempt to divert suspicion? Hmm. Do you even have an alibi for Wednesday?
Adrian Monk: No.
Harold Krenshaw: How about when Barbara was killed? [Monk shakes his head] Of course you don't. Here's what happened. The HMO changed their policy, no more private sessions. You were desperate. You needed to kill one of us so there'd be an opening in the group. Do you deny it?
Adrian Monk: [stands up] Of course I deny it.
Harold Krenshaw: Which is exactly what a guilty man would say!
Adrian Monk: That's true.
Harold Krenshaw: Augie was next. You lured him up to the roof. It was easy. He trusted you. But I don't. You're planning to pick us off, one by one, until you have Neven all to yourself. He's the guy.
Dr. Bell: Harold, what you are suggesting is absurd. Adrian's not capable of killing anyone. Mr. Monk, you're not a killer.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: "Fear of bees."
Dr. Bell: Bees. Well, luckily we live in a more urban environment, so the fear of bees...
Adrian Monk: Pass. Fear of blenders.
Dr. Bell: Well, if you don't own a blender, then, actually...
Adrian Monk: Pass. "Fear of bees in blenders."

Quote from Harold Krenshaw

[Harold walks about the room with his hands held out front, just like Monk]
Adrian Monk: What in God's name are you doing?
Harold Krenshaw: Investigating.
Dr. Bell: Harold, please sit down.
Harold Krenshaw: Who had a motive a motive for murder? [turning to Monk] You did. You resent the group. Admit it, you want Neven all to yourself!
Adrian Monk: That's ridiculous.
Harold Krenshaw: Is it? Which of us would know how to commit a perfect crime without leaving a single clue? Who's the famous homicide expert?
Adrian Monk: I am.
Harold Krenshaw: And who's in the perfect position to steer the investigation away from himself?
Adrian Monk: Me.

Quote from Harold Krenshaw

Harold Krenshaw: Oh, no.
Adrian Monk: What?
Harold Krenshaw: That's Neven's house.
Adrian Monk: How do you know?
Harold Krenshaw: He had a cocktail party last summer.
Adrian Monk: And he invited you?
Harold Krenshaw: I didn't say that.
Adrian Monk: Okay, we- We have to find a phone and call the police.
Harold Krenshaw: There's not enough time. It takes the police 4 minutes and 20 seconds to get here. Don't ask.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Dr. Bell: What is this?
Adrian Monk: It's from my insurance company.
Dr. Bell: Oh, yes. So I see.
Adrian Monk: Today's session is number 2,000. This is it. This is my last session.
Dr. Bell: This is the last session they'll reimburse you for, but you always have the option of paying yourself.
Adrian Monk: Well, how much is it?
Dr. Bell: It's 200.
Adrian Monk: Dollars? $200? This is my last session.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: Oh, my God, we have 48 minutes. It's my last shot. We have to really focus, really focus.
Dr. Bell: Adrian, I don't know how much we can do in one session.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, I made a list of all of my problems here, so...
Dr. Bell: Well, Adrian, that's- That's not how it works. You see, therapy is an ongoing process, and the progress is incremental.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, well, we have to try, okay? Let's knock off as many as we can, all right? "My fear of disappointing my father." Go.
Dr. Bell: Adrian, I'm not comfortable working under this kind of pressure. All right, all right. Hold on. Okay, let's see now. We've talked about this before. The loss of your father came at an impressionable time in your life, and I think it created an emotional vacuum.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, yeah, okay. Forget that one. We'll never get that one. "Germophobia."
Dr. Bell: Adrian, this is not a game show.
Adrian Monk: Germophobia.
Dr. Bell: All right, germophobia. All right, germophobia. Your fear of germs is not unusual. Some people find that it helps to read scientific journals to demystify...
Adrian Monk: Yeah, pass. Okay, "sibling rivalry."
Dr. Bell: Well, I've never met Ambrose.
Adrian Monk: Pass!

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: God. I've been in therapy for ten years. I have to have something to show for it. I mean, I we have to cure something here. Ah, "Death of my mother." Pass. Fear of height, pass. "Fear of fear itself." Oh, yeah! Here- Here's one. "Claustrophobia."
Dr. Bell: Claustrophobia. Now, we've discussed that. We talked about visualization. You remember that. I said if you ever feel trapped somewhere. You can imagine a door.
Adrian Monk: I tried that once, but the door was locked.
Dr. Bell: Just imagine you have a key.
Adrian Monk: I tried that. The key didn't fit.
Dr. Bell: Maybe it's a skeleton key.
Adrian Monk: Okay, this is not working! Come on! We have 46 minutes left. You got to try harder. Cure me, for god's sake.

Quote from Harold Krenshaw

Dr. Bell: And of course, you know Harold.
Harold Krenshaw: Hello, Adrian. I just want you to know, for the record, I'm glad you're here. And I don't feel threatened in the slightest. I know we haven't always seen eye to eye, but I hope we can put our differences aside and work with Neven together as a team. After all, it takes a village.
Adrian Monk: You call him Neven?
Harold Krenshaw: Mmm-hmm.
Dr. Bell: Well, things are a little less formal in group therapy.
Harold Krenshaw: [offers hand] Oh, you still can't shake hands. I see we have our work cut out for us.
Adrian Monk: I can shake hands. [shakes Harold's hand, then gets a wipe out]
Harold Krenshaw: Oh, I used to use a wipe too. Remember? I was so germophobic. I'd always have a wipe in my pocket, like this, and I'd wipe my hands, like this, and then I'd fold it up into a little square and put it in my other pocket, like this. [does so] I was pathetic.

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