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‘Mr. Monk Makes a Friend’ Quotes

Monk: Mr. Monk Makes a Friend

511. Mr. Monk Makes a Friend

Aired January 19, 2007

Natalie, Stottlemeyer and Disher are puzzled when Monk makes a friend, Hal (guest star Andy Richter).

Quote from Adrian Monk

Hal Tucker: Ah, here. Hey, you're, ah, you're missin' two eggs here.
Adrian Monk: No, no. I only buy ten at a time. I know, it's crazy.
Hal Tucker: No, it makes perfect sense to me.
Adrian Monk: It does?
Hal Tucker: Yeah, I mean, why have a decimal system if you're not gonna use it? Ten at a time, it's brilliant. I mean, why 12?
Adrian Monk: Exactly. Twelve's so arbitrary.

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Quote from Adrian Monk

Hal Tucker: What's this?
Adrian Monk: That's bubble wrap. Protect the apple.
Hal Tucker: Did they do this for you?
Adrian Monk: No, no. I bring my own. They- They always tease me about it.
Hal Tucker: Yeah, well, who's laughing now? Look at that thing. It's perfect. Where as mine it's all bruised and scuffed up. You're a genius.
Adrian Monk: I don't know about genius.
Hal Tucker: I like your style, ya know? You know, you play by your own rules.
Adrian Monk: That's one way of lookin' at it, I guess.

Quote from Natalie

Adrian Monk: Why doesn't he call? It's been two and a half days.
Julie Teeger: Why don't you call him?
Adrian Monk: I did. I left 14 messages. I must have said something. Done something. I came on too strong. Scared him off. So now I'm back to zero friends.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, I'm your friend.
Adrian Monk: Because I pay you!
Natalie: You don't pay me that much.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Hal Tucker: Ah, this is the life, huh?
Adrian Monk: Yeah.
Hal Tucker: A Sonny Chow movie, pepperoni pizza, a couple of guys hanging out.
Adrian Monk: Absolutely. I'm sorry I had to send that first one back.
Hal Tucker: Oh, don't worry about it. No, you were totally right. Sliced ten ways makes all the difference.
Adrian Monk: That's all I'm sayin'.

Quote from Julie Teeger

Julie Teeger: There's this girl in my grade, Jenny Merrick. And when Becky Zucker stopped talking to her, you know what she did? She told everybody that Becky wets her bed.
Adrian Monk: [sarcastically] Thanks, Julie! [phone rings] That's him. That's him. It's him, it's him.
Natalie: But how do you know?
Adrian Monk: Who else could it be? You're right here. [giggles, answers phone] Hello? Yeah. She's right here. [to Julie] It's for you. It's your friend, Bonnie.
Julie Teeger: I'm sorry. I gave her this number. [on the phone] Hi. No, I can't talk right now. My mom's boss is crying again.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: Candle's full of water. These are soaking wet. Okay, he was in the shower. Something happened, she said something. He was upset. He opened the shower curtain, didn't even bother to stop to turn off the water. He grabbed the top towel. Went into the other room and killed her.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You're pretty damned good when the toilet seat's down.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! He's gonna be here any minute! Any minute! Julie, Julie, put on some music. Please, Natalie, don't go away. Stay- Stay right there. I need you. I need you. Which one? Which?!
Natalie: They're exactly-
Adrian Monk: Which one?!
Natalie: That one! Mr. Monk, you're gonna have a heart attack.
Adrian Monk: No, no. I'm fine. I'm okay. Just, uh... Just, uh... Keep going, ask me another one.
Natalie: Okay. What's a forward line?
Adrian Monk: Ah, in professional hockey. The forward line consists of the right wing and the left wing. And the center. This year the Sharks have had a outstanding forward line. Outstanding. Let's- Let's say their names. Okay, Joe Thornton. Oh, Kaspar--no!
Natalie: Mr. Monk, why don't you just be honest? Tell him it's your first game.
Adrian Monk: No, no, no. I tried that honesty thing. It was a total disaster.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: No, no, Julie. Not classical. Put on something cool. You know, the rock and the roll.
Natalie: You don't have any rock and roll.
Adrian Monk: Well, not- Not classical. Anything but classical.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, he's just a guy. He can't be the first friend you've ever had. [Monk looks at Natalie] Oh.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Hal Tucker: Oh, my gosh! Are you okay? I am so sorry. That is all my fault. Man, they oughta put blinkers on these things. Is this yours or mine?
Adrian Monk: No, that- That's not mine. That's yours.
Hal Tucker: Yeah, well. Pretty much anything that can kill ya, that's gonna me be mine.
Adrian Monk: Yeah.
Hal Tucker: I mean, look at this. Soup for one, frozen meat loaf. I might as well wear a big sign that says, "divorced guy."
Adrian Monk: Yeah.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Hal Tucker: Hal, Hal Tucker.
Adrian Monk: Adrian Monk.
Hal Tucker: Yeah- Oh, did I do that?
Adrian Monk: Oh, it's nothing. Just a little juice. It's nothing.
Hal Tucker: You got to send me the bill for that.
Adrian Monk: No, no. I have a hundred shirts just like it at home. I mean, 99 now.
Hal Tucker: Well, I always pay my debts. Adrian Monk, I'm gonna look you up. I'm gonna pay you back.
[After Hal walks away, Monk takes his groceries bags and dumps them in the trash as he heads back into the supermarket]

Quote from Adrian Monk

Captain Stottlemeyer: You okay?
Adrian Monk: Uh... Uh... Uh.. Yeah. Can we, uh... Think we could put down the, uh... The, um... The toilet seat?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Nope. Tech guys haven't been here yet. We can't touch anything.
Adrian Monk: Yeah. Okay, so, uh somebody was in the shower. And then, uh... So the... I can't- I can't- can't think.
[Stottlemeyer takes Monk's pen, removes the evidence label from the toilet, coughs as he closes the lid, then goes to return the pen to Monk]
Adrian Monk: Nah, keep it! Just keep it.

Quote from Lieutenant Disher

Lieutenant Disher: Captain, we know her. Uh, knew her.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Knew who?
Lieutenant Disher: The victim. She was a dispatcher at the old precinct.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No kidding. Oh, yeah. About ten years ago. Gail something.
Adrian Monk: Gail Segalis. Oh, my God. I used to carpool with her. Oh, she was always talking about trips she wanted to take. She said if she ever made it to the Parthenon, she was gonna send me a picture.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, looks like she made it.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Hey, is this a boyfriend? I love boyfriends. Let's find him.
Lieutenant Disher: Yes, sir.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: What's this?
Lieutenant Disher: What do you got?
Adrian Monk: I don't know.
Captain Stottlemeyer: The price is in euros. She brought it back with her.
Adrian Monk: Where's the wine?
Lieutenant Disher: Probably drank it.
Adrian Monk: Where's the bottle?

Quote from Adrian Monk

Natalie: [answers phone] Hello? Yes. He's right here. Who's this? A what? A friend of whose? This is Adrian Monk. What number are you calling? Yeah. Hold on. Mr. Monk? It's Hal?
Adrian Monk: Hal! Hal? He called me? [takes the phone] Hello? Yeah, yeah, of course I remember you. Yeah. Oh, it was... Yeah, it was nice meeting you too. Bumping into you. All right, I get it, I get it. It was a play on words. Oh, that was just my assistant Natalie. Huh? Hold on. Hold on, I'll see. Are you hot?
Natalie: What?
Adrian Monk: What, tom- tomorrow? Oh, sure. I- Sure, that sounds okay. Yeah, that sounds great. All right, okay, great. I'll see you then. [hangs up] That was Hal.
Natalie: Who is Hal?
Adrian Monk: Oh, he's just a guy. He's a friend. We're going to the hockey game tomorrow.
Lieutenant Disher: The hockey game?
Adrian Monk: Yeah. Kramer, what're you doing tomorrow?
Kramer: Going to the beach with the kids.
Adrian Monk: Can't go with ya. I'm going to the hockey game. Captain, you don't need me tomorrow, do ya?
Captain Stottlemeyer: No.
Adrian Monk: Good, 'cause I'm goin' to the game.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah. I heard.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: What are you doing?
Natalie: I'm cleaning.
Adrian Monk: No, I don't want it too clean! He'll think I'm some kind of a freak. I left five crumbs out.
Natalie: Yeah, I only see one, two, three, four.
Adrian Monk: Four! God! Four. Here, here it is. Okay, there it is.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Hal Tucker: Adrian?
Adrian Monk: Hey, Hal!
Hal Tucker: Hey, there. I hope you don't mind I let myself in.
Adrian Monk: Oh, Hal's here.
Hal Tucker: I brought in your mail. Hey, nice crib.
Adrian Monk: Oh, yeah, uh, thanks.
[The Star Spangled Banner plays]
Hal Tucker: Patriotic, I like that. Most people wouldn't have the guts.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, yeah, exactly. So this is my crib. Excuse the mess, okay?
Hal Tucker: What mess?
Adrian Monk: Well, you know. The crumbs, there's five crumbs there.

Quote from Natalie

Hal Tucker: So, you ready to roll? It's gonna be a great game.
Adrian Monk: Absolutely. Go Sharks!
Hal Tucker: Oh, I love it! That's great. We'll see ya later.
Adrian Monk: We'll see ya later. [both exit]
Julie Teeger: I like him.
Natalie: Yeah, I do too. I wonder what he's up to.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Man: Take the shot! Come on, take the shot! Take the shot!
Adrian Monk: Take the shot! Take the shot!
Hal Tucker: How about these seats, huh?
Adrian Monk: Oh, they're excellent. They're really bolted in.
Hal Tucker: Yeah.
Hal Tucker: Oh, man. Did you see that? What the hell was that?
Adrian Monk: The hell if I know! What the hell was that?! Hell.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Hal Tucker: Cheech is really off his game tonight.
Adrian Monk: Yes. Yes, last year, Jonathan Cheechoo, whose nickname is Cheech, was the third highest-scoring right wing in the league. He was born in Ontario.
Hal Tucker: Really? That's interesting.
Adrian Monk: It is?
Hal Tucker: Yeah.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: Smudge.
Hal Tucker: What?
Adrian Monk: There's a smudge. On the glass. It's on the inside. We can't get it.
Hal Tucker: Right.
Adrian Monk: It's no big deal, right?
Hal Tucker: No.
Adrian Monk: Who cares? Right? Let's just think about something else.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: [both wearing hard hats] It's embarrassing.
Hal Tucker: No! It's a great idea. It's a battle zone out there. They should hand these things out at the door.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Hal Tucker: Well, now you know.
Adrian Monk: You did some time.
Hal Tucker: I bought some coins in Turkey. Beautiful pieces. 11th century. Turns out they were hot. I did eight months. I was gonna tell you earlier, but then I found out you were a cop. And... If you wanted to go home right now, I mean, I wouldn't blame you.
Adrian Monk: Why would I want to go home? I'm havin' a great time.
Hal Tucker: Really? So we're still on for tomorrow, then?
Adrian Monk: All right.

Quote from Lieutenant Disher

Tim Hayden: I told ya, I was at my restaurant all day. I got 15 people on staff. Why don't you ask them?
Lieutenant Disher: Well, they work for you, right?
Tim Hayden: They're not gonna lie for me. Not about this. I mean, you work for him, right? You gonna lie for him? I mean, about a murder?
Lieutenant Disher: I think about that a lot, actually. I mean of course, it would depend on a number of factors...
Captain Stottlemeyer: We're not talking about him. We're talking about you.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Captain Stottlemeyer: Did you hear that?
Adrian Monk: Sorry, I wasn't listening. I'll- I'll hear the tape.
Lieutenant Disher: We didn't record it.
Adrian Monk: That's okay. I was half-listening, so I'll play it back in my head later.

Quote from Lieutenant Disher

Natalie: Mr. Monk was just telling me about his big day.
Lieutenant Disher: You mean the guy on the phone? I thought that was a prank.
Adrian Monk: No, why- Why would you think it was a prank?
Lieutenant Disher: No reason.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Captain Stottlemeyer: How was the hockey game?
Adrian Monk: Great! Great game. We won. The San Jose Sharks 4, visitors 2. It was a lot of fun. It was so much fun. And then later we went out for brews. And beer.
Lieutenant Disher: Brews and beer? Actually, there is- [Stottlemeyer coughs]
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, you know that I worked vice for a couple of years? Sometimes a scam artist will spend a couple of days with a guy before asking him for money. It's called softening the mark.
Adrian Monk: No. No, no, no. Hal is not a con artist, no. Why would anybody con me? I don't have any money.
Natalie: Does he know you don't have any money?
Adrian Monk: Yeah.
Natalie: Did you tell him you don't have any money?
Adrian Monk: Wait, wait. I think I know what this is about. You guys are worried that I'm gonna ask him to be my best friend. Don't worry. Please. Hal and I just met. We are nowhere near making that kind of commitment. You guys. Unbelievable. What kinda guy do you think I am?

Quote from Adrian Monk

Dr. Kroger: You know, he sounds like a great guy.
Adrian Monk: He is. Oh, he's a great guy!
Dr. Kroger: Well, having a good friend, Adrian, is a blessing.
Adrian Monk: Yeah. He's outside right now waiting for me.
Dr. Kroger: Really?
Adrian Monk: Yeah, we're going back to my place after the session, just to hang... You know, out. That's what we do. We hang out. We went out last night, me and Hal. To a bar.
Dr. Kroger: To a bar?
Adrian Monk: It was so much fun! You should have seen Hal. He was talking to two girls. At once. Saying, saying funny things. Everybody was laughing and...
Dr. Kroger: Adrian. This is... This is really amazing. And it's very significant.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: I always wanted a best friend. I used to pray for it every Christmas. Best friend. That's what was missing. One friend would have made it all bearable.
Dr. Kroger: Well you had Trudy.
Adrian Monk: That was different. Trudy loved me. But Hal likes me.
Dr. Kroger: Beautifully put.
Adrian Monk: You know what I'm gonna do? I just decided. I'm gonna ask Hal if he'll be my best friend.
Dr. Kroger: You know, I-I've never heard it put quite that way.
Adrian Monk: I just have to figure out when to pop the question. Do you have any advice?
Dr. Kroger: About-
Adrian Monk: About when to pop the question!
Dr. Kroger: No! No, I-I don't.
Adrian Monk: Nothing?
Dr. Kroger: No.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Hal Tucker: Oh, hey, buddy. How'd it go?
Adrian Monk: I think it went pretty well. I told him all about you.
Hal Tucker: Oh, hey, I'm famous. So, you want to head over to your place? You promised to show me that rock polisher. I'm parked right over here. You okay?
Adrian Monk: Yeah, yeah. Look, uh, just something, uh, I've been wanting to say. More of a question, really. I know we haven't known each other that long...

Quote from Adrian Monk

Natalie: Mr. Monk! Thank God! Hey, Hal. The captain just called. They found a body, Gail Segalis' boyfriend. He was killed in his restaurant.
Adrian Monk: I'm sorry, I-I got to go.
Hal Tucker: Hey. Do you mind if I tag along? I've never seen a real crime scene, except on TV.
Adrian Monk: Can he? Can he come? He can be my guest.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, it's a crime scene. It's not a party.
Adrian Monk: Natalie! It's Hal. Come on, the captain won't mind. We'll tell him you're with me. And that, you're just gonna watch.
Natalie: All right, when we get there, be careful. You can't get your fingerprints on anything.
Hal Tucker: Yeah, that would be funny. 'Cause then you'd have to arrest me.

Quote from Lieutenant Disher

Lieutenant Disher: Captain! Murder weapon. Boys found it under the stove.
Hal Tucker: The handle's cracked. Is that from hittin' the guy?
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, that's right. The serial number's been filed off too. Makes it almost impossible to trace.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Are you reporting to him now?
Lieutenant Disher: [to Stottlemeyer] The serial number's been filed off. Makes it almost impossible...

Quote from Adrian Monk

Hal Tucker: You know, I read an article about all the crime in this neighborhood, how it's all drug-related.
Adrian Monk: Nah, this was no junkie, though. No, this was personal. This was very deliberate. If he'd been that desperate, he would have gone through the victim's pockets. See?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yep. I've never known a junkie not to.
Adrian Monk: And that guy is still wearing his watch, ring.
[Hal bends down and picks up a pair of sunglasses]
Natalie: You okay?
Hal Tucker: Yeah, I just dropped my shades.

Quote from Natalie

Hal Tucker: What's going on?
Natalie: That's exactly what we were wondering, Mr. Tucker.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Do you mind telling us why you've been hanging out with Monk?
Hal Tucker: Well, he's a good guy. He's a lot of fun.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I'm gonna ask you one more time, why are you hanging with Monk?
Natalie: You know he doesn't have any money.
Hal Tucker: So what?
Lieutenant Disher: Does he know you have a record? Receiving stolen property.
Hal Tucker: Yeah. Yeah, he knows all about it, and he's cool with it. What's this got to do with you?
Natalie: We love him.
ha:Oh, you do? Then when's the last time you hung out with him, you know, just to hang out, or called him just to talk? He is a great guy. He's odd and funny and brilliant. But you wouldn't know that. I mean, to you, he's just some sort of crime-solving machine. A robot that you wind up and point at a crime scene and let him do your job for you. And to you, he's your funny, quirky boss. That you can make fun of and tell stories about behind his back. What kind of friends are you? If Adrian Monk has a problem, it's not with me.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Hal Tucker: Listen, uh, I just remembered. I have an appointment downtown with a client, so, uh, I'll call you later.
Adrian Monk: Okay, yeah, Hal! Wait, uh, before you go. There's, uh, something I've been meaning to say. I'm really glad we met.
Hal Tucker: Yeah, me too. I'll call ya.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, yeah, you know, I know this sounds childish, but, um... If you wanted to say we were best friends, that would be cool with me.
Hal Tucker: Yeah, sounds great. Let's do it.
Adrian Monk: Really?
Hal Tucker: Yeah, look, I really gotta go. I'll catch you later. [exits]
Adrian Monk: Yeah. [runs to the phone] Dr. Kroger. I'm sorry to call you at home. He said yes!

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: Hello.
Hal Tucker: Adrian.
Adrian Monk: Who is your friend?
Hal Tucker: What are you doing here?
Adrian Monk: Does he work for the phone company? 'Cause your phone must be broken. I've been calling and calling.
Hal Tucker: Okay, I'm sorry. I've just been really busy.
Adrian Monk: I will not be toyed with, Hal!
Michael Kin: Look, we were just having dinner.
Adrian Monk: Where? Where, Scotty's Pub? Were you in our booth? Hal, look. I bought tickets for us. Got, uh, Disney On Ice. That's, like, animals ice skating, I think. And, uh, women's volleyball, and something called Pearl Jam. I just want another chance. Whatever I did, I take it back. I can change. I can... change. I've never actually done it, but I'd like to give it a try.
Michael Kin: He doesn't like hard rock.
Adrian Monk: You! Don't know the first thing about Hal, so don't pretend you do. How does he like his hamburgers? Huh? Didn't hear that. Medium rare! Can you name three of his shirts? 'Cause I can. The turquoise one, the yellow one, and the one he's wearing now.
Hal Tucker: Adrian, come on. We had some laughs, but to tell the truth, we don't really have that much in common.
Adrian Monk: He wets his bed.
Michael Kin: What?

Quote from Adrian Monk

Hal Tucker: Adrian.
Adrian Monk: Your bag. Santorini. What's- What's in here? It's heavy. You- You bought this in Europe.
Hal Tucker: Boy, am I glad he's gone, huh? He gets so jealous when I'm around my friends, you know?
Adrian Monk: Really?
Hal Tucker: Yeah, you know, Adrian, I'm so glad you're here because, uh, my mother's coming over in a little while. Would you like to meet her?
Adrian Monk: Your- Your mother?
Hal Tucker: Yeah. I told her all about you. Come on, I live right upstairs. Let's go.
Adrian Monk: Your mom.
Hal Tucker: Yeah.

Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer

Lieutenant Disher: Here's the report on the murder weapon. You know, the firing pin was worn down. That's why it wouldn't fire.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Maybe we should call Monk in on this one.
Lieutenant Disher: Oh, yeah, I already called him. He's not available. He's having some kind of problem with Hal.
Captain Stottlemeyer: [scoffs] Hal. I still can't figure that one out. [turns the gun around in his hand] Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
Lieutenant Disher: ... No.
Captain Stottlemeyer: When you showed this gun to Hal and said, "Here's the murder weapon," he knew that the killer used it like a club.
Lieutenant Disher: That's right, he pointed to the cracked handle.
Captain Stottlemeyer: But we never told him how Tim Hayden died. You show anybody a handgun and say, "This is the murder weapon," they're going to assume that the guy had been shot.
Lieutenant Disher: How did he know?
Captain Stottlemeyer: How did he know?

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: I know that song.
Hal Tucker: What song?
Adrian Monk: That song you're humming. The music box at Gail Segalis' house. You. You've been to Greece?
Hal Tucker: Many times.
Adrian Monk: I've been everywhere. You had a beard. [Hal pulls out a gun] Gail Segalis. She said she'd send me a picture from Greece. Is that why you kept coming over? She must've taken the picture. And you were in it. It would've connected you to Gail... Oh, God. You kept bringing in my mail all that time. You were just waiting for her letter.
Hal Tucker: First class, my ass. That thing took forever.
Adrian Monk: So, you never reallyliked me?
Hal Tucker: Are you kidding? Spending a day with you is like pulling teeth. I'm surprised your own shadow keeps you company.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: Back up. Back up! Over there. There. Open the bottle. Open it. Open it! [Hal reveals a figurine stashed in the bottle] Stolen. Of course. You have a record. You knew you'd be searched at the airport. That's why you seduced Gail Segalis, to get that through customs. And then you seduced me.
Hal Tucker: Come on, Age. I was just joking. You know, I was punking ya.
Adrian Monk: Punk- Punk- Punking?
Hal Tucker: I was joking. That gun's not loaded. I mean, I was just goofin' around. It's... It's what best friends do.
Adrian Monk: Best friends?
Hal Tucker: Yeah.
Adrian Monk: I don't believe you.
Hal Tucker: Oh, come on. It's me. Hal. It's your old pal Hal. You know me. I wouldn't hurt anybody. Come on. Let's go over to your place. Let's order a pizza. Have it sliced ten ways. Maybe polish some rocks.
Adrian Monk: Okay. Okay.
Hal Tucker: But I'm gonna need that gun! Hands up, you freak.
Adrian Monk: So it really is loaded?
Hal Tucker: Yes.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Lieutenant Disher: I'll take, uh, Pearl Jam. Good seats?
Adrian Monk: No, I'm sorry. They're right next to the stage.
Lieutenant Disher: Okay, that leaves Disney On Ice and women's volleyball.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I'll take women's volleyball.
Adrian Monk: Are you sure?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Oh, yeah.
Adrian Monk: Okay.
Natalie: Hey. Wanna go?
Adrian Monk: With you? Me and you? Why?
Natalie: We don't need a reason. We're friends.
Adrian Monk: Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I'd like that.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: Listen, can we invite Hal, I mean, if he makes bail?
Natalie: Mr. Monk, he tried to kill you.
Adrian Monk: No friendship is perfect.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, he murdered two people.
Adrian Monk: All right, I'll sit between you. You don't even have to talk to him.
Natalie: No, forget it.
Adrian Monk: Natalie. I'm punking you. That's what friends do. They punk each other. It's fun, isn't it? Now you see if you can punk me.
Natalie: You have a smudge.
Adrian Monk: That's not funny. Don't- Don't- Come on.


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