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‘Mr. Monk and the Marathon Man’ Quotes

Monk: Mr. Monk and the Marathon Man

109. Mr. Monk and the Marathon Man

Aired September 13, 2002

When a woman is murdered during the San Francisco marathon, Monk suspects her married lover, whose alibi is airtight as he was running the race at the very time she was killed.

Quote from Lieutenant Disher

Commentator: [on TV] There is something you don't see every day. A runner in this race with four legs.
Lieutenant Disher: Hang on a second. Stop the tape.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What?
Lieutenant Disher: What's that right there? Go back a little. Is that a dog?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah. It's a poodle.
Lieutenant Disher: Maybe he put the chip in the dog collar.
Captain Stottlemeyer: That's a little poodle. Can a little poodle run 26 miles?
Lieutenant Disher: Maybe he drugged it. I mean, if it's on drugs, yeah. I can call a vet.


Quote from Sharona

Sharona: Why don't you sit down? [Monk shakes his head] Well, at least hold the pole. [Monk shakes his head] How do you explain this: I touch everything you're afraid to touch, and I never get sick.
Adrian Monk: I can't explain it. It's inexplicable.
Sharona: No. You're inexplicable.

Quote from Sharona

Trevor McDowell: Well, well, well. If it isn't Mr. Monk and Sharona, am I right? What can I do for you?
Adrian Monk: Do you have a minute, sir?
Trevor McDowell: I have all the time in the world. As a matter of fact, there's a sale on all the convertible sofas if you're interested.
Adrian Monk: No, thanks.
Trevor McDowell: I'll make you a great deal. Free home delivery.
Adrian Monk: We're not here to shop.
Sharona: Although, if it turns out you're innocent, I'd like to talk to you about that recliner.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Angie Morrison: Hello. Can we help you?
Adrian Monk: [to Sharona] Oh, no. It's a stampede. Get a wipe ready. [to Angie] I'm Adrian Monk. I called earlier.
Angie Morrison: Oh, Mr. Monk. Please excuse the mess. After the marathon, we just kind of hibernate for a while, you know.
Adrian Monk: This is my assistant Sharona. [Sharona is still searching for a wipe]
Angie Morrison: Hi. Oh, I'm this year's chairperson, Angie Morrison. [Monk shakes her hand] This is Tillie Graves [Monk shakes her hand], Cicily Fraiser [Monk shakes her hand], and Brandon Connelly over there [Monk shakes his hand].
Adrian Monk: Got it. Brandon Connelly, hi. [Sharona finally gets a wipe out]
Angie Morrison: And this is Carl Jenkins. He's our chief of security.
Adrian Monk: Hi, Carl. [Monk shakes his hand]
Carl: Hi.
Adrian Monk: [to Sharona] Thank you. [wipes hand]
Carl: You got a problem with me?
Adrian Monk: What? Oh, no, no, no.
Carl: You don't want to shake a brother's hand, you just say so. You don't gotta go wiping it off.
Sharona: Oh, no. He does that to everybody.
Carl: Am I blind? Do I look like I'm blind? I saw what I saw. I'm gonna go and lock up downstairs. If I stick around here, I might do something I'll regret.
Tillie Graves: We're all just people, Mr. Monk.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Sharona: So are you gonna tell me?
Adrian Monk: What?
Sharona: Why you quit running. You said there was an incident.
Adrian Monk: Uh, ancient history.
Sharona: Come on. You know you're gonna tell me.
Adrian Monk: Okay, fine. May 2, 1974. Our high school track team. We had a great year. We made it to the All-State conference. It was the biggest day of my life. It was all tied up. It came down to the last event: The 1500 meter. Everyone was depending on me. But just before the gun, I looked down, and my laces were, you know, uneven. It was the first time that I had a problem like that in public. Never ran again.
Sharona: That must have been terrible.
Adrian Monk: I got over it.
Sharona: No, you didn't.
Adrian Monk: That's true. I didn't. Thank you.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Sharona: I just can't picture you on a track team.
Adrian Monk: I had a life, you know, before we met.
Sharona: Oh, no, no. I know you had a life. I just didn't think it involved wearing gym shorts and showering with other guys.
Adrian Monk: I didn't shower with other guys. I had a note from my doctor.
Sharona: I bet you had lots of notes from your doctor.
Adrian Monk: As a matter of fact, I did. I had a whole, separate binder.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: You see that lamp there? It's got-
Sharona: Don't even think about it.
Adrian Monk: But it's not-
Sharona: Stop. Stop. It's supposed to-
Trevor McDowell: Normally it's $1399, but with a mighty blow from Luke, here... Whoa! That old price is down for the count! It's yours for only $1299! Heavyweight furniture at featherweight prices.
Tables! Chairs! Sofas! Lamps! Love seats! You name it! At McDowell's, if we can't beat the competition, we'll throw in the towel!
Director: [o.s.] Cut. Cut. Who is that? Get him out of there.
Adrian Monk: I'm sorry. It was a little... Was l... Okay, take two.
Sharona: Oh, my God.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: Let it go. It's a coincidence.
Sharona: You think it's just a coincidence that your hero, Tonday, drinks chamomile tea?
Adrian Monk: Yes, I do. I love these sneakers.
Sharona: Oh, I see. I see. Whenever I think of something, it's just a coincidence. Whenever you think of something, it's a work of genius.
Adrian Monk: Exactly.

Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer

Lieutenant Disher: You're thinking Tonday.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, no. Their times don't match up exactly.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, then who?
Captain Stottlemeyer: All right. Here's my idea. Let's say there were six runners.
Lieutenant Disher: Six?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah. Tonday, McDowell, and these four guys: Harvester, Blanchard, Crowe and Davidson. They pass the chip back and forth among them. They were all running in the vicinity and...
Lieutenant Disher: Like a conspiracy.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, no. I've worked the time out on this graph. Passing it back and forth, the time works out almost exactly. What do you think?
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, this is worth looking into, sir.
Captain Stottlemeyer: It's all... No, it's not. It's insane. There is absolutely no connection between those six men.
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, you're right. It's I was just playing devil's advocate with that.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Sharona: It's okay. I'll do it. Give me a boost.
Adrian Monk: What?
Sharona: Just put your hands like this.
Adrian Monk: You're gonna step in my hand?
Sharona: That's how you give somebody a boost. Come on.
Adrian Monk: I don't think so.
Sharona: Adrian, that chip is the only thing that connects him to the murder. If he finds it, he'll destroy it and then we can't nail him. Give me a boost!
Adrian Monk: Let's just think. Maybe we could build a little ladder.
Sharona: Out of what?
Adrian Monk: You know, branches and rocks.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Tonday: Adrian, did you solve your case? [Monk nods] Ah! I knew you would. I remember thinking, "This man is stronger than he thinks he is. You know, he can run the race!" Here, I've got something for you.
Adrian Monk: Tonday, I can't accept anything else.
Tonday: After we met, I had them send it to me. It's the-
Adrian Monk: It's the headband you wore in Los Angeles, 1973.
Tonday: Adrian, I can tell you're searching for something. Life is a long and difficult race. You must hang on, hold on to it. Amandla. Amandla. That means "courage."
Adrian Monk: Thank you, my friend. Thank you for this. [wipes it against his face] This means the world to me.
Tonday: I haven't worn it since the big race, or washed it. [Tonday walks away]
Adrian Monk: Baggie. Baggie. Baggie. Baggie.
Sharona: Just give it to me.
Adrian Monk: But be careful with it. Don't wrinkle it, all right? Don't even look at it. You can... You can glance at it, but don't stare.
Sharona: It's just a sweaty piece of cotton.
Adrian Monk: Hey! What are you- Don't- You're crushing it now. Just give it back to me. Here.
Sharona: Just go in the car. Go in the car.
Adrian Monk: Think it could be dry-cleaned? Courage. Yeah.

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