Ralph Roberts: What are you afraid of, Adrian?
Adrian Monk: Fire.
Ralph Roberts: You're afraid of fire? Well, I have some good news for you.
Adrian Monk: And heights.
Ralph Roberts: And heights. Okay, then today is your lucky day.
Adrian Monk: Germs, needles, milk, crowds, spiders, sand...
Ralph Roberts: That is quite a list. You have been living in darkness.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, darkness, yes. Elevators, earthquakes, mushrooms, tigers, boats.

Ralph Roberts: What about charcoal?
Adrian Monk: Charcoal, yes. [Roberts wipes charcoal on Monk's hand] No.
Ralph Roberts: You have dirt on your hand, brother.
Adrian Monk: Wipe. Wipe. Wipe. [pulls out wipes]
Ralph Roberts: No. No. [takes wipes] Don't wipe that off. Listen to me. These wipes you carry are a crutch. You're with me now. You don't need the wipes. Drop the wipe. Drop.
Adrian Monk: Drop the wipe?
Ralph Roberts: It's okay. Just give up. Just surrender.
Adrian Monk: Surrender?
Ralph Roberts: Let it go. That wipe is like a chain, Adrian. It's dragging you down. Set yourself free. Let yourself live. You can do it. Drop the wipe.
Adrian Monk: I'm free. I'm free.

Susan Donovan: Could I have that back, please?
Adrian Monk: I'm afraid not. This picture is material evidence in a homicide. In fact, I think this is the key to the whole case. This is the motive. This is why you killed her. Here's what I think happened. Amanda Clark was a sex prostitute.
Susan Donovan: A what?
Adrian Monk: A sex prostitute.
Susan Donovan: As opposed to what?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, just keep going.

Natalie: Well, the parents said she was scared to death. She was sure he was gonna try to find her.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, that checks out, cause she changed her name, she moved to North Beach, rented a basement apartment, and started working off the books.
Adrian Monk: Doing what?
Captain Stottlemeyer: She became a member of the world's oldest profession.
Adrian Monk: Stone mason, huh?
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, prostitute.

Brother Ted: It's tough, isn't it? Without loved ones nearby, you must feel so disconnected.
Adrian Monk: It's really funny. We were just talking about that. About how she feels disconnected, remember?
Natalie: Exactly.
Brother Ted: Would you like to fill out a questionnaire? We could do it here, or you could come with us. We have our own ranch up the coast. I think you'd really enjoy it.
Natalie: Oh, my gosh. Your own ranch? I've never been to a real ranch.
Sister Sally: [notices badge on Natalie's purse] "World's Greatest mom." You said you didn't have any family.
Natalie: Well, except for my daughter, but, we never talk anymore. It's- I- I haven't seen her. It- It's sad. [Natalie's cell phone rings] Excuse me. [answers phone] Hello. Yeah, now's not a good time. Well, how long has Sarah had a license? No, absolutely not. I will talk to you later. Thank you. [hangs up] Sorry, business call.
Brother Ted: Thank you very much. Have a beautiful day.

Natalie: That couple over there. They've been on the news all week, their daughter was murdered. Mr. Monk, they're staring at you. I bet they want to hire you. They want you to solve the case.
Adrian Monk: No, thank you.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, you can't say no. This was their daughter.
Adrian Monk: Natalie, you know how busy I am. I'm doing my taxes, I'm rotating the couch cushions... I'm just going to tell them I can't do it. They're probably gonna start crying, right?
Natalie: Probably.
Adrian Monk: Uh, they'll probably show me pictures of their daughter. Pictures of her when she was a kid, pulling a little red wagon. There'll probably be a dog in the wagon. There's always a dog. Then they're going to start begging, offering me all the money they have, and they're going to go on and on, and on. And, "The police can't do anything. You're the only one who could help us." The crying and the weeping and the pleading. [The couple approach Monk] Okay, fine. Fine. You win! I'll take the case.

Brother Ted: Father hasn't left the ranch in three weeks.
Lieutenant Disher: How do you know that?
Brother Ted: He never leaves for harvest season.
Lieutenant Disher: Really, never? What if he gets sick, and he has to go to the hospital?
Brother Ted: Father doesn't get sick. He's never even had a headache. He's going to live forever. He is the eternal one. The nurturing light.
Lieutenant Disher: The nurturing light. What if he got hit by a bus? I bet would put his nurturing light out pretty quick, wouldn't it?
Brother Ted: There are no buses on the ranch.
Lieutenant Disher: What if a bus careens off the highway? You know, smashes through the fence, rolls onto the farm, runs him over?
Brother Ted: he highway is seven miles away.
Lieutenant Disher: What if it careens seven miles?
Brother Ted: It can't careen seven miles.
Lieutenant Disher: Oh, I've seen vehicles careen a pretty long way.
Brother Ted: Not seven miles.
Lieutenant Disher: It's possible. I once saw a truck lose his breaks on Route 15, near Avalon Mountain. It started careening at full speed. [Ted resumes his meditation] Hey! Hey, you listening to me, Ted? Philipsburg. Careening in Philipsburg. Do you know where Philipsburg is, Ted?

Lieutenant Disher: Did you talk to him about the case?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, I tried. I took him aside, I said, "Did you learn anything?"
Lieutenant Disher: What did he say?
Captain Stottlemeyer: He said, "Leland, I've learned everything."
Natalie: That's not good.
Captain Stottlemeyer: And he kept smiling.
Natalie: That's not good. [Stottlemeyer hands her the flower] They all have ten petals.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Ten petals.

Lieutenant Disher: [sings] Father please mend me. Father please correct me.
Dr. Kroger: Randy? Randy?
Lieutenant Disher: Father please correct me.
Dr. Kroger: Randy! Thank you, Randy. We'll meet you back in the living room. Thank you, really. Nice, nice job. Good work. Thank you, Randy. Thanks for coming.
Lieutenant Disher: I should go to the bank.
Dr. Kroger: Someone wanna keep an eye on Randy?

Adrian Monk: I'll do it. I'll go undercover.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Forget it, Monk. It's a cult. You wouldn't last 20 minutes. This guy Roberts is a Svengali. He brainwashes people.
Adrian Monk: I think I can handle myself.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Don't take this personally, Monk, but you're about the most gullible person I know.
Adrian Monk: Gullible? Gulli-? Come on.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, it's not just my opinion. I was talking to Joey Heatherton, and she agrees with me.
Adrian Monk: Joey Heatherton, the singer?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, uh-huh.
Adrian Monk: Joey- Joey Heatherton, can you believe it? Joey Heatherton.
Natalie: Okay, I'll do it.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Thank you.