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‘Mr. Monk and the Red-Headed Stranger’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Monk: Mr. Monk and the Red-Headed Stranger

112. Mr. Monk and the Red-Headed Stranger

Aired October 11, 2002

Monk can't hide his admiration when he meets his musical idol, Willie Nelson, even though the country star is implicated in the murder of his manager.

Quote from Benjy Fleming

Benjy: Did you really meet a blind lady?
Sharona: Yeah.
Benjy: Does she have a dog?
Sharona: No, she had a cane.
Benjy: Hey, maybe I can interview her for that report I have to do on people with disabilities.
Sharona: Wait. I thought you were gonna write about...
Benjy: It only has to be two pages. Mr. Monk is a whole book.

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Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: So, I'm the killer. You're Sonny Cross. Okay, I'm hiding. There is so much garbage back here.
Sharona: Oh, please.
Adrian Monk: Okay, here I am. I'm hiding. You walk up the alley. I jump out. I step up to you and bang!
Sharona: Ow! Why am I always the victim?
Adrian Monk: Because the victim usually ends up on the ground in-in the dirt, and I'm... I'm me.

Quote from Lieutenant Disher

Lieutenant Disher: [over radio] We're on foot, heading south towards Prospect.
Woman: Description?
Lieutenant Disher: He's wearing gray sneakers.
Woman: Is there anything else?
Lieutenant Disher: He's not Jewish!

Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer

Adrian Monk: Captain, I wouldn't tell that story about your accident to too many people.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Why not?
Adrian Monk: Well, the hills north of Highway 18 have been closed for two weeks. Brush fires.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Really?
Adrian Monk: What really happened?
Captain Stottlemeyer: I was cleaning my gutters and slipped, fell off the ladder.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Willie Nelson: Thanks for comin'. My lawyer tells me that you're about the only friend I got left in town.
Adrian Monk: Do you smell that?
Willie Nelson: Uh, no, I don't, and you don't either.
Adrian Monk: I don't either. [chuckles]
Willie Nelson: Yeah, this is a little piece of Texas on wheels.
Adrian Monk: I love it. It's the bomb.
Sharona: "It's the bomb"?
Adrian Monk: Bomb is good.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Willie Nelson: Do you know "Georgia On My Mind"?
Adrian Monk: Oh. Sure.
Willie Nelson: Tomorrow night we're doing this radio concert. My agent thought it might be a good idea for publicity or whatever. We're gonna do "Georgia On My Mind." Would you like to come over and play?
Adrian Monk: You-You mean play with the band?
Willie Nelson: Yeah. You think about it.
Adrian Monk: No, no, I'd better not. If I think about it, I might say no.

Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer

Captain Stottlemeyer: What the hell are you doing?
Sharona: Oh, uh, he's practicing.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Really?
Sharona: Willie Nelson invited him to sit in with his band.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, he may be live from Folsom Prison.

Quote from Sharona

Adrian Monk: What's all this?
Sharona: It's for Saturday night. I'm cooking dinner for Justin.
Adrian Monk: Maybe I should drop by.
Sharona: Adrian, I love my job, but if I have to get a restraining order, I will.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Sharona: Look at all these plastic bags. You must be in heaven.
Adrian Monk: I never heard of these bands.
Sharona: You never heard of The Ramones?
Adrian Monk: Oh, yeah, The Ramones. They are great. I love that song they do about loving that woman all night long.
Sharona: Shut up.

Quote from Sharona

Adrian Monk: Who was that?
Sharona: None of your business.
Adrian Monk: Well, can I take a wild guess?
Sharona: You never take wild guesses.
Adrian Monk: Was it the guy you met last week at the party Justin?
Sharona: Maybe.
Adrian Monk: When do I get to meet him?
Sharona: Never, 'cause you ruin everything.
Adrian Monk: I'm protecting you.
Sharona: Adrian, you're not my mother. Look, I checked him out on the Internet. He's an architect who's won awards. He's the real deal.
Adrian Monk: So let me meet him.
Sharona: We'll invite you to our tenth anniversary, okay? Now, will you pay attention? There's a dead guy over here.

Quote from Lieutenant Disher

Lieutenant Disher: Monk.
Sharona: Where's the captain?
Lieutenant Disher: He's getting an X ray. He was in an accident.
Adrian Monk: Is he okay?
Lieutenant Disher: He fell off his motorcycle. That's all I know. Until he gets back, I'm in charge.
Sharona: Oh, my God.
Lieutenant Disher: I'm so glad you're here.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Lieutenant Disher: Monk, listen. This is big. In fact, this could be the big one. We have a suspect inside. It's Willie Nelson.
Adrian Monk: The Red-headed Stranger?
Lieutenant Disher: The press hasn't got wind of it yet, so just...
Adrian Monk: Can l- Can l- Can I talk to him?
Sharona: You like Willie Nelson?
Adrian Monk: Are you surprised?
Sharona: Well, yeah. It's just so so normal.

Quote from Lieutenant Disher

Lieutenant Disher: Now, Mr. Nelson, you admit that you and Mr. Cross were arguing yesterday?
Willie Nelson: We argue all the time.
Lieutenant Disher: About what?
Willie Nelson: Only two things to argue about, and money is one of 'em.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Lieutenant Disher: Mr. Monk isn't on the force. He's here as a consultant at my request.
Adrian Monk: First of all, I just wanna say I'm-I'm your second biggest fan.
Willie Nelson: Well, who's the first?
Adrian Monk: Uh, that-that'd be my wife. I lost her about five years ago.
Willie Nelson: I'm sorry to hear that, Mr. Monk.
Adrian Monk: No, I just wanted to tell you how much your music has meant to me and to my wife.
Sharona: Adrian, this isn't a fan club. Just ask your question.

Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer

Naked Man: Whoo-hoo. Whoo!
Captain Stottlemeyer: What the hell was that?
Lieutenant Disher: That was a streaker, sir.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What is this, 1974?

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