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‘Mr. Monk and Little Monk’ Quotes

Monk: Mr. Monk and Little Monk

408. Mr. Monk and Little Monk

Aired August 26, 2005

Monk is contacted by an old crush from junior high school whose housekeeper was recently killed.

Quote from Lieutenant Disher

Captain Stottlemeyer: She was your great grandmother? Tell me about her.
Sherry Judd: I never met her. She was a famous suffragette. She went to jail for the right to vote.
Lieutenant Disher: Maybe they were making a statement. Like a political thing.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You mean they broke into the house, and they beat a woman to death, then defaced the painting because they had trouble with the 19th amendment?
Lieutenant Disher: Yes. I mean, no. It's a mystery.

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Quote from Adrian Monk

Michael Norfleet: Monk? From junior high?
Adrian Monk: That's right.
Michael Norfleet: Sherry told me all about you. About how you never took a single gym class.
Adrian Monk: I had a note.

Quote from Adrian Monk

[flashback:]
Young Monk: Sherry was here. Cash box was here. Leo comes in. Put that cupcake down.
Gladys: Adrian Monk, is that you? You're not allowed in here until after the dance.
Young Monk: Oh, I'm not here for the dance. I'm trying to figure out who stole the money from the bake sale.
Gladys: They said it was that girl. The honor student, Sherry Judd. I made these for the after-party. Here, tell me what you think. [Monk deliberates as he goes to take a cookie] Here, here. Take this one. It has ten chocolate chips. Exactly ten. Just the way you like it.
Young Monk: You're an excellent cook, Mrs. Lidsky.
Gladys: It's a gift and a curse. Here, I'll send some more of these home with you for you and your brother. I've got some boxes left over from the bake sale.
Young Monk: Blue icing.
Gladys: What is it?
Young Monk: It's a clue.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Captain Stottlemeyer: Mr. Norfleet, you're under arrest for the murder of Gladys Aquino, your wife's housekeeper.
[flashback:]
Principal Thicket: Son, this'll be a lot easier on everyone if you just confess. I know you took the money.
Leo: That's crazy. It was in her locker. Nobody else could've opened it.
Young Monk: The cash box was in her locker because you put it there. And I know how you did it.
[present:]
Adrian Monk: Here's what happened. You hired two men, Travis Baptiste and his brother, to break into Sherry's house.
Michael Norfleet: Ridiculous.
Natalie: We found this in Travis' wallet.
Michael Norfleet: Anyone could've written that.
Adrian Monk: It's true. The letters are printed. There's nothing special about them. But look at the house number. Look at the zero. There's a little line through it.
[flashback:]
Young Monk: I noticed something yesterday. When you were stuffing me into my locker. Which, by the way, wasn't very cool. My locker was set to zero. I remember that Sherry always set her lock to zero as well. But the day before, when principal Thicket found the cash box, her lock was not set to zero.
[present:]
Adrian Monk: This was all about the zeroes. You don't see a zero written like this very often. But I saw four of them the day before when you were writing Sherry's alimony check.
Michael Norfleet: I've seen other people write zeroes like that.
Adrian Monk: True, but how many of them also know the floor plan to your wife's house?
[flashback:]
Young Monk: Here's what happened. When you pretended to help her with her books, you pocketed her lock and replaced it with yours. It was a perfect plan. You took out the money. Then, when nobody was watching, you came back and planted the cash box. Then you put her lock back on the locker.
[present:]
Michael Norfleet: Why would I hire somebody to break into her house? There's nothing in there that I want.
Adrian Monk: Ah, yes, the motive. I knew it had something to do with this painting. But I just couldn't figure out what. Then I remembered how you resented paying all that alimony. I believe you called it your monthly pound of flesh.
Michael Norfleet: Her alimony?
Adrian Monk: You'd be paying her alimony forever unless she got remarried. This wasn't about stealing anything or hurting anybody. This was about them. You were fixing them up.
Sherry Judd: He knew about Jimmy. I talked about him all the time.
Lieutenant Disher: You tracked him down, and you got lucky. He was single and still living right here in the city.
Adrian Monk: But you had a problem. How were you gonna get them together? You couldn't just call her. You and Sherry were barely speaking. And she would have resented any suggestion you made. So you played cupid. You hired Travis and his brother to break into her house, and to deface the painting. A painting she loved. One you knew she would want restored. You were betting that eventually she'd bring it to James. He is the best art restorer in the city. They would discover that they still had feelings for each other. And you were right.
Michael Norfleet: Nice story. You can't prove any of it.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Sherry Judd: I love this one. Look at their faces. I wonder what they're thinking.
Adrian Monk: She's planning to murder him.
Sherry Judd: What?
Adrian Monk: She's about to feed him amanita mushrooms. You can tell by the little white spots. It's a deadly poison.
Sherry Judd: Maybe she doesn't know.
Adrian Monk: Oh, she knows. He's been hitting her. She's swollen. See the bruises on her arms and her left eye. She knows what she's doing.
Sherry Judd: Must be hard. To be you. To see everything.
Adrian Monk: It's awful.

Quote from Lieutenant Disher

Lieutenant Disher: Captain, you know that list of all the people who worked at Sherry Judd's house in the last year?
Captain Stottlemeyer: No.
Lieutenant Disher: I cross-checked it against registered motorcycle owners. We got two hits.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, good, let's take one and give one to Monk.
Lieutenant Disher: Yes, sir. Which one?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Doesn't matter. [Disher deliberates] Just pick one.
Lieutenant Disher: One potato, two potato, three potato, four, five potato...
Captain Stottlemeyer: Randy, a woman is dead.
Lieutenant Disher: Yes, sir. My mother told me to pick the... [Stottlemeyer grabs one of the cards]

Quote from Adrian Monk

[flashback:]
Leo: You can't prove any of this. Are you gonna believe Adrian Monk? He's a freak. You can ask anybody.
Principal Thicket: Let's empty out all your pockets. Come on.
Leo: That's my money.
[present:]
Lieutenant Disher: Travis and George were just picked up this morning in Las Vegas.
Captain Stottlemeyer: They will be here tomorrow. And these boys are gonna talk. I can promise you that. Their fingerprints were all over that room.
[flashback:]
Principal Thicket: This money's from the bake sale. That's my handwriting. I wrote "Good luck" next to honest Abe Lincoln. Why don't you and I have a little talk in my office?
[present:]
Michael Norfleet: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Nobody was supposed to get hurt. What was Gladys doing there? It was supposed to be her day off.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Lieutenant Disher, book him.
Michael Norfleet: The crazy thing is it worked. Congratulations, darling.
[flashback:]
Young Sherry: Thank you. You're amazing.
[present:]
Sherry Judd: You're still amazing.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Sherry Judd: Adrian, I'm the only family Gladys had. I just want justice for her. I want to make sure that the best people are working on this. And I've been asking around, and everyone says you're a genius. But, of course, I already knew that. Adrian, um, helped me out of a jam when we were kids. About, uh, 30 years ago.
Adrian Monk: It was April 12, 1972.
Sherry Judd: You remember?
Adrian Monk: I only remember the date. And what everybody wore. And what everybody said. And what everybody did.

Quote from Adrian Monk

[flashback:]
Young Monk: Where's the money, Leo?
Leo: What are you talking about, Monk? Monk the punk.
Young Monk: You took the money from the bake sale. You put it in the cake box so nobody would see you leaving with it.
Stork: Hey, they found the empty cash box, remember? It was in your girlfriend's locker.
Leo: Which was locked.
Young Monk: You framed her.
Leo: How? Tell me. She's the only one who knows the combination.
Young Monk: I don't know how. But you did it. You're the guy.
Leo: I'm the guy? I'm the guy who's about to stuff you in your own locker and lock the door.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Natalie: Mr. Monk. There's someone here to see you. She says she's an old friend. Sherry Judd?
Adrian Monk: Sherry? She's here? What does she want?
Natalie: I don't know. Who is she?
Adrian Monk: Someone I knew in the eighth grade. Is she here to apologize?
Natalie: I don't know.
Adrian Monk: Well, tell her it's too little too late. No, wait! Wait, uh... Tell her about Trudy. Tell her that I married Trudy. Tell her Trudy loved me. Tell her how pretty Trudy was. Well, wait. Tell her Trudy and I went all the way.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, I think she needs your help.
Adrian Monk: With her homework?
Natalie: No, with a case. We're all grown up now.
Adrian Monk: Oh, yeah. Right.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: Sherry? Hello. It's, I'm Adrian Monk.
Sherry Judd: Adrian, you you look great. Um, you probably don't even remember me. Is that Trudy? She was beautiful. Natalie told me what happened. I'm so sorry.
Adrian Monk: Thank you. We went all the way.

Quote from Adrian Monk

[flashback:]
Mrs. Monk: Adrian.
Young Monk: Mom, everyone's watching.
Mrs. Monk: Here's your lunch. It's cut into ten little squares just the way we like it. And your first aid kit. And your toiletry bag.
Young Monk: Mom.
Mrs. Monk: You'll thank me later. Remember, don't share your food with anyone. Sit near the fire doors. I'll pick you up at 3:04. I'll be wearing an orange blouse.
Young Monk: Mom, I know what you look like. I'll be fine. I love you, mom. [goes to hug her]
Mrs. Monk: What are you doing?
Young Monk: Right, sorry. [shakes hands]

Quote from Adrian Monk

[flashback:]
Young Monk: Oh, hi, Sherry. I, uh, wanted to thank you for recommending that Rock & Roll record. It was very groovy.
Young Sherry: I didn't recommend anything.
Young Monk: Yes, you did. You were wearing a Led Zeppelin T-shirt yesterday, which is the same thing as recommending them. So, uh, I went out, and I bought their record. The, uh... Stairway up to Heaven?
Young Sherry: What did you think?
Young Monk: Well, you know, I haven't actually listened to it yet. We don't have a record player. I assume it's excellent. I mean, uh, groovy. Yes, you can tell from the cover. They look so groovy.
Young Sherry: Well, I gotta go.

Quote from Adrian Monk

[flashback:]
Young Monk: You always turn your lock back to zero. I noticed that. I do that too. So later it's easier to open.
Young Sherry: Uh-huh.
Young Monk: Actually, there are a lot of things we have in common. [grabs card] "Things Adrian Monk and Sherry Judd have in common."
Young Sherry: You made a list?
Young Monk: One, our lockers are right next to each other. Two, we both like The Patty Duke Show. Even though she has to be lying because they're supposed to be identical cousins, which is biologically impossible. Three, perfect attendance records. And, uh, four... Neither of us has a date to the spring fling.
Young Sherry: How do you know that?
Young Monk: I happened to catch a glimpse of your weekly planner. And I noticed that you have a babysitting job lined up for that evening. Unless I'm wrong, which, you know, I'm not.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: Some wine spilled.
Natalie: Where?
Adrian Monk: Over there.
Natalie: It's a painting.
Adrian Monk: It's driving me a little crazy.
Natalie: Then don't look at it. It's about Sherry. I've been watching you, and I-
Adrian Monk: I can't not look. Maybe they could fix it. This guy we're seeing restores art, right?
Natalie: Mr. Monk.
Adrian Monk: Maybe he could just paint over it. Turn that up.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: What about Trudy? I'm a married man.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, it's not really a date. You're old friends, right? You're just catching up. Mr. Monk, she likes you.
Adrian Monk: Uh, there's no way.
Natalie: Why not?
Adrian Monk: She knows me.


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