Trending ‘Monk’ Quotes

Quote from Lieutenant Disher in Mr. Monk and the Voodoo Curse

Captain Stottlemeyer: So he goes to collect the mail, including this box.
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, same as the others. Postmarked three days ago, no return address. He opens the box, sees the doll. Bob's your uncle, his heart just stops.
Captain Stottlemeyer: "Bob's your uncle"? That doesn't sound right.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, yeah. Bob was her uncle. Uncle Robert.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, right, but that doesn't matter.
Lieutenant Disher: It's a figure of speech.
Captain Stottlemeyer: A figure of whose speech? I've never heard...
Lieutenant Disher: His name is Robert.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, I know. No, no, back up a second. I've never heard "Bob's your uncle" before.
Lieutenant Disher: Have you been to Australia?
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, I've never been to Australia.
Lieutenant Disher: Bob's your uncle, mate. Didgeridoo.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Have you been- Have you been to Australia?
Lieutenant Disher: No.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Did you, like, see a movie, like? Like, "That's a knife, mate."


Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk and the Panic Room

Adrian Monk: Hi. Remember me?
Sharona: Adrian, it's only been two hours. Come on. How's Benjy?
Adrian Monk: Oh, he's good. I just talked to him. Said he's very proud of you.
Sharona: Yeah.
Adrian Monk: [places hand in sticky substance on table] Oh. Oh. Wipe. Sharona, wipe.
Sharona: I don't have any wipes. I'm in jail.
Adrian Monk: Oh, what is it? Oh, my God, get it off me. Oh, God, get it off. It's jail goo. This is, this is jail goo.
Sharona: You know what? You know what? I put an extra wipe in your pocket. Give me, give me the wipe.
Adrian Monk: Oh, God. It's connected.
Sharona: Will you please relax? I'm in no mood.
Adrian Monk: Oh, my God. Jail goo.

Quote from Dr. Kroger in Mr. Monk and the Really, Really Dead Guy

Dr. Kroger: You know, you're like John Henry: Man versus the machine. You know that song?
Adrian Monk: No.
Dr. Kroger: Oh, I was, um... I was in a folk singing group in college. We always used to end each show singing that song. You never heard it? [sings] When John Henry was a little baby He sat on his momma's knee He picked up a hammer, a piece of steel Said hammer will be the death of me Lord! Lord! Hammer will be the death of me Yes!
Adrian Monk: Well... Okay, okay then. Thank you.
Dr. Kroger: Adrian, the point is that he was a steel driver. There was a big contest between John Henry and the big, new, modern steam drill, and John Henry won.
Adrian Monk: He- He did?
Dr. Kroger: He won, yes. I mean, absolutely. That's why I'm telling you this. He won, he was a hero. Everybody loved him. God, I just loved it when everybody joined in on that last verse.
Adrian Monk: Really?
Dr. Kroger: [sings] When John Henry was hammering that mountain Mountain was spitting fire He worked so hard that he broke his heart Laid down his hammer and he died Lord! Lord! He laid down his hammer And he died.
Adrian Monk: So, he- He died?
Dr. Kroger: Yeah, I guess he did. Oh, no, no, no, in this version. You know, there were a lot of versions.
Adrian Monk: I think our time is up.
Dr. Kroger: No, it's not. No, it's only 20 after.
Adrian Monk: I think our time is up.