Dr. Kroger: Okay. I'm sorry, but, uh, our time is up.
Adrian Monk: Okay, well, I'll see you Thursday.
Dr. Kroger: No! No, uh, don't you remember? I'll be in Costa Rica.
Adrian Monk: Costa Rica?
Dr. Kroger: Yeah. For three weeks. It's my vacation.
Adrian Monk: I've never been to Costa Rica.
Dr. Kroger: Uh, no, Adrian. You're not coming. It's a vacation. But if- If you like, I can refer you to another doctor.
Adrian Monk: Uh-
Dr. Kroger: Or- Or not. Or not.
Adrian Monk: Why didn't you tell me?
Dr. Kroger: I did. I told you every week for the past month. But I guess you just, um, blocked it out.
Adrian Monk: Is that possible?
Dr. Kroger: Apparently.
Adrian Monk: I guess I did. I blocked it out. No problem. We'll talk about it on Thursday.

Adrian Monk: Are they gone?
Sharona: No! What are you doing?
Adrian Monk: Playing a game.
Sharona: What game?
Adrian Monk: It's called... It's called, "Are they gone?" Are they gone?
Sharona: No.
Adrian Monk: Then the game's not over.

Adrian Monk: He's the guy.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Who's the guy? [Monk signals to the comatose patient] Him? Monk, he's a vegetable. He's not even a vegetable. He hopes one day to be a vegetable.

Adrian Monk: Well, we know who did it and we know why. We just don't know how.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, again, he's in a coma.
Adrian Monk: He's the guy.
Captain Stottlemeyer: In 20 seconds, Agent Grooms is gonna come walking through that door, and he's gonna ask me what I think. Give me something else, for the love of God.
Lieutenant Disher: Okay, wait. I have an idea. Maybe he had an accomplice.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yes. Somebody else mailed the damn thing.
Sharona: Why not? I already had that idea. Tell him.
Adrian Monk: There was no accomplice. Why would Brian Babbage hire one? He didn't know he was gonna be in a coma.
Sharona: It's not exactly something you can plan.
Adrian Monk: All right. Anyway. Why would an accomplice bother to go through with it? There was no reason to. The guy who hired him was in a coma.
Captain Stottlemeyer: All right, so, Brian built the bomb. And then, Brian mailed the bomb. By himself.
Adrian Monk: That's right.
Captain Stottlemeyer: While he was in a coma.
Adrian Monk: You gotta admit. It's a pretty good alibi. It's rock-solid.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, I have known fifteen thousand criminals in my life time, here's what they all have in common: They're conscious!
Adrian Monk: Nonetheless.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Is your shrink coming back soon?

Adrian Monk: You said there was another brother?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah. Brian. But he's a dead end.
Lieutenant Disher: Or practically dead.
Sharona: What do you mean?
Captain Stottlemeyer: The guy's in a coma. We saw it happen. Four months ago, he got T-boned by a pickup truck. Cracked his skull. It was really unnecessary. The guy just baited me and Randy and-and stepped on the gas.
Lieutenant Disher: It was my first car chase.
Captain Stottlemeyer: That didn't count. The guy didn't go half a block. You didn't get the car in gear.
Lieutenant Disher: It counted.
Captain Stottlemeyer: It wasn't a chase, Randy.
Lieutenant Disher: We ran to the car.
Adrian Monk: Anyway, uh... Four months ago. So he wouldn't have known that his sister had moved.
Lieutenant Disher: It counted.

Lieutenant Disher: Captain. A.T.F., 3:00.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, gimme somethin' else. Anything. Any theory besides the coma guy. If you were to tell me that Howdy Doody was behind this, it would make more sense.
Adrian Monk: [shouts] Howdy Doody? Why would Howdy Doody be sending people mail bombs? Wasn't he a puppet?
Sharona: He was just using that as an example.
Adrian Monk: Or maybe he was just using that as an example!

Adrian Monk: Sigmund Freud never took a vacation.
Sharona: Well, Sigmund Freud never met you.
Adrian Monk: I need somebody to talk to.
Sharona: He'll be back soon. Don't worry about it. I mean, everybody needs some time off. Except, apparently me.

Lieutenant Disher: Can I be honest with you, sir?
Captain Stottlemeyer: [over radio] All units, clear the air. We're in pursuit of a hit-and-run. He's eastbound on Union.
Lieutenant Disher: This is my first car chase. I been waitin' for this my whole life. [crashing sounds]
Captain Stottlemeyer: Chase over. What'd you think?

Sharona: Why don't you try a different doctor for a few weeks?
Adrian Monk: No. No, no, no. It takes me eight months to break in a new therapist. Most of them don't make it.
Two took an early retirement.

Adrian Monk: His name is Trevor. Trevor Howe. He just shows up after six years, out of the blue. At the kid's birthday party. Can you believe it? Benjy loves him, of course. I- I really appreciate you letting me talk like this. My regular doctor's out of town. I'm glad you could squeeze me in. Anyway, about this Trevor guy, Sharona's so happy to see him, I can't figure it out. He treated her so badly. He was never faithful. He drank, he gambled. I guess I never appreciated how lonely Sharona's been. She wants to forgive him. She wants to believe in him. Am I jealous? Is that it, do you think? Or maybe-maybe I'm afraid he's gonna take her away. What do you think? Or maybe I'm... I'm just feeling bad about Benjy's birthday. Ah, he hated my gift. I could tell. A rock-polisher. What was I thinking? Why couldn't I just buy him a regular toy? I'm so tired being different. I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted, l... I don't have to tell you about being exhausted. You don't know how lucky you are. Sleeping. Sleeping through it all. Not a care in the world. Take my advice. Savor these moments.