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‘Mr. Monk Goes to the Circus’ Quotes Page 1 of 3    

Monk: Mr. Monk Goes to the Circus

204. Mr. Monk Goes to the Circus

Aired July 18, 2003

Monk investigates the murder of a circus ringleader whose ex-wife would be the prime suspect in his acrobatic murder, if only she didn't have a broken foot.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Sharona: You okay?
Adrian Monk: I'm not really in my comfort zone here.
Sharona: You have a comfort zone?
Adrian Monk: Yes, I have a comfort zone.
Sharona: I've never seen a comfort zone.
Adrian Monk: It's not very big. It's, uh It's kind of small. I-I don't have a comfort zone.


Quote from Adrian Monk

Sharona: My fear is irrational? As opposed to what, your fears?
Adrian Monk: Well, the stuff I'm afraid of is, you know, based on fact.
Sharona: It is?
Adrian Monk: Like germs.
Sharona: Like, uh, crooked paintings? And-And sidewalk cracks? And- And food touching? And the wind?
Adrian Monk: Hey, the wind can kill. Hurricane Edna?
Sharona: Milk?
Adrian Monk: At least they're things people actually encounter. You have to make an appointment to see an elephant. You have to sign up for a safari or something.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: Is this a dollop?
Sharona: What?
Adrian Monk: A dollop. It says, "Add one dollop of whipped cream."
Sharona: I don't know. I think a dollop's, like, a teaspoon.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, it doesn't say "teaspoon." It says "dollop."
Sharona: It doesn't matter. It doesn't have to be exact. I- l- It's like a pinch.
Sharona: How many pinches to a dollop?
Adrian Monk: I don't know. Well, maybe it's more like a schmear. I think it's three pinches to a schmear. Or, uh... Ah, forget it. Forget it! Let's make something else.
Sharona: What? You're throwing it out?
Adrian Monk: Nobody can make this cocoa. The recipe's impossible.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: She's still not talking to me. She says I don't get it.
Dr. Kroger: Well, I think maybe she's right.
Adrian Monk: What don't I get? I don't understand.
Dr. Kroger: I can't tell you that.
Adrian Monk: You mean, you know, but you won't tell me?
Dr. Kroger: Adrian, you're gonna have to figure this one out for yourself.
Adrian Monk: I'm sorry. Uh... I want to make sure I understand this. I have a problem. You know the answer.
Dr. Kroger: That's right.
Adrian Monk: I'm paying you.
Dr. Kroger: That's right.
Adrian Monk: But you won't tell me.
Dr. Kroger: That's right. Adrian, the answer is inside you.
Adrian Monk: No, Doctor, the answer is inside you. If you told me, I would hear it, and then the answer would be inside me!

Quote from Sharona

Sharona: When I was seven, I went to the zoo. I saw a baby girl fall into the elephant pit.
Adrian Monk: And she was hurt?
Sharona: No, she was fine. They got her out. But it scared me to death. And now, ever since then, whenever I see an elephant, l-l-I freak out, and I start shaking. Can't help it. I hate 'em.
Adrian Monk: [laughs] Oh, brother.
Sharona: What's that supposed to mean?
Adrian Monk: Oh, come on, Sharona. You're not a kid anymore. You just suck it up. We're on a job here. I need you now.
Sharona: What did you just say?
Adrian Monk: I said, I need you.
Sharona: No, no, no, no, no. Before that. Did you just tell me to suck it up?
Adrian Monk: No.
Sharona: You know, I can't believe you, Adrian! You have thousands of phobias and quirks that I have to deal with every single day, and I am always there for you! Aren't I? Answer the question! Yes or no?
Adrian Monk: Yeah.
Sharona: Right! I am. And now I have just one tiny, little problem, and you have the nerve to tell me to suck it up? Don't you have any compassion? You're the most selfish, inconsiderate man I have ever met.
Adrian Monk: Great. Now I'm upset.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: Are you all right? You must have been so frightened. See, I'm empathizing with you. I'm putting myself in your shoes.
Sharona: Will you shut up?
Adrian Monk: Okay, now that's you getting annoyed at me because I won't shut up. So I'm... That's me being compassionate and sensitive. I... I feel your pain.
Sharona: Oh, God.
Adrian Monk: I'm feeling your pain.
Sharona: I've created a monster.
Adrian Monk: I hear that. I'm hearing what you're saying.

Quote from Lieutenant Disher

Sgt. Myers: I can't believe it! Man, we really lucked out. That's Adrian Monk.
Lieutenant Disher: Who?
Sgt. Myers: He's the best crime scene investigator in the department. We studied all his cases at the academy.
Lieutenant Disher: Huh. Really? Never heard of him.
Sgt. Myers: Oh, I can't believe he's here. It's like meeting Mick Jagger. Oh, that's Sharona, his nurse.
Lieutenant Disher: He has a nurse?
Sgt. Myers: When his wife was killed, he didn't leave the house for, like, three and a half years until he met her. Now he can't do anything without her. She's pretty hot, huh?
Lieutenant Disher: Oh, you think so? Hey, maybe they're together.
Sgt. Myers: No. Monk's not with anyone. He's still hung up on his late wife. That's the one case he can't solve. Look at him. Adrian Monk. Oh, he's the man!

Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer

Captain Stottlemeyer: Hey, there. What's your name, son?
Sgt. Myers: Myers.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Officer Myers, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the area.
Sgt. Myers: Me? What did I do?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Nothing. It's your socks. They don't match.
Sgt. Myers: My socks? Wha- I lost one, sir, so l... They're pretty close, sir.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Look, I couldn't care less about your socks. It's Monk. You're distracting him. He can't concentrate.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Adrian Monk: Where is the sugar?
Lieutenant Disher: Sugar?
Adrian Monk: Sugar cubes. This bowl's empty. All the other bowls are full.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Right. What's that mean?
Adrian Monk: I... don't know.

Quote from Lieutenant Disher

Adrian Monk: What happened next?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, the getaway. Which is why you're here. I thought this might be right up your alley.
Lieutenant Disher: No pun intended.
Adrian Monk: What pun is that?
Lieutenant Disher: Because of the alley.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Shecky, can I continue?

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